#tais thoughts

(sorry about the speed y'all I wanted to crunch all this into one video)

It's because, she's such a beautifully fleshed-out character. She holds so much of herself back and doesn’t open her walls to anybody. She really only relies on her dad, and even then, she hates the feeling of someone worrying about her. And it's one of the realest qualities to any character I've ever had the pleasure of seeing and watching within a piece of media..

So yeah, okay, I ship Sydney with three different guys on the show (I see the SydRichie potential, SydLuca, c'mon they're cute, and OBVIOUSLY Sydcarmy..) (yes, you can LOL) because I think they could all bring her out of her shell in different ways.

And this is not in an “oh, she’s dependent on another person and the show is totally a romance” kinda way , and no not in a "I think in order for her character to be fully fleshed out she needs a romantic interest"— but in a way that recognizes romance is in fact a large part of most people’s lives. And as a well-written character, she deserves a well-written arc that includes her allowing herself to be loved. Cherished. Adored. The way she deserves. The way that she's denied herself. The way that she's closed herself off to. Time and time again. (Her dodging Carmen's obvious about-to-be-ask-out in season two, or the way that she blew off his "I like this" statement just this season)

She’s done so much good for every single one of the other characters. So yeah, fucking sue me if I think:

Luca and his charm and openness to learning and skill and flirtatiousness could make her more confident

Richie’s commitment to growth could open a space for real honesty between them and their connections growth to shift and become something more together (-this I'm kind eh on but I def see the appeal and the potential some of y'all have pointed out)

Or, (as my shameless favorite): Carmen.

Carmen, the damaged, youngest, most driven, most “I-have-something-to-prove-even-when-I-don’t,” the self-destructive and the caring, the altruistic yet insanely flawed young man, could grow alongside Sydney.

In what has the potential to be one of the most beautifully written dynamics in TV history.

The most complex, D1 yearner, and developed relationships to be told in a story already so deep and complex and human.

To have the upper middle-class Italian white youngest son, Carmen, with ambition and anger and years of pent-up emotion, to choose financially struggling Black woman, Sydney, who had to fight to become an absolutely, deliciously impressive chef in a predominantly white male industry. (meta tagged below) And for her to choose him back.

And to be together. Create together.

To hold each other (accountable, and in love)

in consistent apologies, and growth, and change, in discomfort and in the face of adversity.

To keep choosing each other.

To be each other’s partners.

And yeah, none of this is even from a technical or meta mind. This isn't an analysis or a deep set and heavily researched post to show you guys the evidence of how the show will show her love.. it's honestly just a rant at this point. I defend and love Sydney's character so hard and I believe so deeply she deserves the love she avoids and she deserves to be held and looked at longing and lovingly the way she really, already is. And to be okay with it and not only okay with it but to accept it and love it right back.

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I alluded to a lot of ideas brought up in a couple metas I've read the past few days in this rant so I'll tag 'em here:

@whenmemorydies "system" works

@habaritess "I like this" was a confession

I was watching some clips I had for an edit I was working on and then I realized some interesting things about the shot sizes and types used In Carmen's interactions with Claire and Sydney, and the differences between u which can be argued to further push the Sydcarmy agenda. So... Let me cook.

Claire and Carmy

Their INFAMOUS close up shots are often talked about among the fandom. These scenes are often viewed as imposing, absorbing, intrusive and sharp. This shot type is often in their scenes together after medium double shots or over the shoulder shots.

Their initial meeting is quick-cut to these close ups, mirroring how their relationship and connection is brought about. A simple accidental meeting (alternating single medium shots) straight- almost immediately - to these really intense close-ups that, even to people who don't like to analyze these things, felt really affected by.

The cinematography regarding their connection is quick to be close, some would even say too close, and I believe this is meant to reflect their exact relationship.

Let's discuss their "intimate" or "cute" scene at the party in season 2 episode 5. (I cut off the rest of their dialogue because I wanted to discuss/analyze the shot and cinematography choices mostly

- slow push in during initial dialogue about Carmens fake party persona, Logan. (Whom @yannaryartside has discussed EXTENSIVELY and always eats about so I won't go too deep about that just yet but check 'em out.)

- cut-to close up after Carmen attempts to make a genuine observation about Claire's character.

What's the effect?

The initial choice to start this scene off with a slow push into their dialogue gives a personal, real feel. Like you're really there at the party. This makes sense with their topic of discussion at the time, Carmen going along with this fake persona he's adopted at this party.

Then, Carmy changes the subject, trying to make a 'genuine' observation about who Claire is, who he thinks he is.

Carm: "With Kelly, you're really good at that."

Claire: "good at what?"

Carm: "uh... Listening"

But let's think about that observation real quick, it was pretty much fed to him, just like everything else he has ever known about Claire. He sees the image of her his family laid out of her, and now he's seeing this image of a caretaker and listener that she has put out for him. Or, rather, literally made a whole outing with him about, basically saying "lets go to a party so you can watch me comfort my sad friend."

I digress, paired with this dialogue, the slow push in is intentional, to set that kind of real connection and build up a good relationship would have. But then...

Cut to a close up of Claire at his observation. She goes on further to tell him about how in college she was the one that everyone went to and that she would take care of when intoxicated. Not only does this jump straight into the image that's been created and upheld by others of Claire for Carmy, but it also skips a good chunk of the way they could have gotten there from continuing its slow push in. The cut to Claire’s close-up feels like it’s reinforcing the manufactured, performative aspect of her persona. She’s always already presenting an image of herself and the one that Carmy’s been fed by others, and now he's seeing her perform it for him. There’s no real room for them to discover who each other truly are beneath the surface. They get pushed(heh) into that “perfect” intimacy too quickly, (hence the ungodly amount of close ups) and everything gets rushed and artificial. The choice to make their interaction so loose and slow and intentional, to tight and suffocating, cutting to close-ups where Claire is the one “listening” or “comforting,” reinforces how his perception of her has been shaped by external factors rather than his own emotional processing. (Also, kinda wanna talk about how in the clip above you hear the inflection of Carmy's line when he says "listening" goes up, sort of sounding like a question. Does he really know if she's good at listening or is that just what he's been told? Is that just what he's been shown? It sounds like he's questioning whether she is really a good listener or not)

The nature of Clairecarmy cinematography is supposed to be rushed, invading and almost immature, just like them.

As opposed to

Sydney and Carmy

For Sydcarmy, we'll talk about The Table Scene (cue the "oh brother"'s) - sorry I had to speed it up it's a VERY LONG SLOW PUSH

The table scene features a (very) long push-in on Carms and Sydney's interaction under the table with no cuts or major changes in their positions. This scene is often seen as one of the most intimate within this show. It's a real intimacy, as opposed to the contrived "intimacy" we see in clips of Claire and Carmy, where even their dialogue doesn't serve their connection and deepening it as much as the shot types they get do.

Let's discuss the differences between the table scene and the party scene.

That table scene is a chef’s kiss example for tension* in cinematography.

*fun, emotional, and genuine tension, maybe even sexual and romantic, but not malicious

The slow push-in during the Sydney and Carmy's conversation is such a stark contrast to the Claire-Carmy moments. Where Claire and Carmy’s shots are invasive and rushed, Sydney and Carmy’s are carefully measured, building that slow tension that just eats at you. Which is deliberate, of course, as everything with this show is. (Also remember how I brought up the questioning infliction in Carmy's 'observation' he made about Claire? Here, he makes a standing observation about Sydney without any unknowingness. "You like taking care of people." It's resounding. It's real. It's not contrived intimacy, it's natural.)

It's a direct contrast to any scenes of "intimacy" between Carmen and Claire. Just thinking about any scene of them together, there are quick cuts, quick close-ups and shot types that read intimacy parked with dialogue that... Doesn't.

Sydney and Carmy's scenes usually feature these slow push in's, but especially so for the table scene. Just like mentioned with the previous scene, this is supposed to be a reflection of their connection and relationship.

There's a lot of distance in the beginning, a slow, slow push in is like their slow connection building. Not only is this deliberate to bring us as the viewers closer to them, but to bring these characters closer together as well. These cinematography choices are made along with dialogue that is actually intimate rather than cheaply contrived to trick the viewer into believing it is real intimacy (like with almost every Claire and Carmy scene)

Then, there's a still moment in the middle of the push inwards, around when the wide shot becomes a medium. This may be supposed to signify that for them to grow closer, there will be some resistance to face there. Stagnation. This period could possibly be equivalent to season three? That was Carmen's stagnant and regressive state where he began to relive and react his traumas, making Sydney step back. In this moment as the shot stills Carmen's eyes are on Sydney. Just as he always keeps an eye on her. Reminds me of something from season three...

Then the still is broken and we get more of a push in, into an almost close-up, until they both exit from under the table.

This could mean a lot of things in the context of the cinematography reflecting their relationship. But the one that makes the most sense, (and that we pretty much already know) is that

They're both resistant to getting close. But they still want to be there for each other.

Cinematography and shot speaking, the moment ending mid-push felt abrupt. It felt like it could have gotten closer, but it didn't. The intimacy of the moment caught up with both of them, making their clean transition to a more stable position and a still shot type. (Above is a double cowboy shot - waist up, more comfortable[?])

But, script wise, it was a fully realized and well executed moment, that had a beginning middle and end. Their talk was real and cherished, transitioning to another moment where they share that they are not alone. This idea of leaving each other alone is, and becomes a very important motif throughout the series.

The flow of the cinematography differing from the flow of the script is not a mistake or a fluke. I believe that this is all completely intentional.

To us, we hear and we see the intimacy and the connection between these two. We heard their professions, and reassurances and their devotions to one another. What we're shown through the cinematography is a slowly building connection, that takes pauses at times, that has moments of stillness, but continues to push grow and learn alongside each other. We know, just as they know, that there is something there between them, and the transition from under the table to over it is reflective of their resistance. We don't really have those sort of close-up moments between Carm and Syd.

This is sort of saying, if we want to get them to let themselves get close to each other, they need to let it happen.

SO. To sum it up...

Clairecarmy scenes are feigning intimacy and faking the "build" to their connection - really just cutting straight to it

"it's uhm, 'i'm sorry.' In sign. Uh, two of my old chefs used to do it. You know, if they were angry, fighting on the line, it helped. It was like their version of 'lets talk about this later'"

I think it'd be really nice and cool to hear and see those two chefs and their affect on Carmy so heavy that he adopted their actions into his own instinctual reactions in such a personal tender moment with Syd.

Let's be real, in the restaurant he's not the one to initiate the "sorry" first (with the exception of when Syd was upset he didn't call her to tell her about the beef/the bears renovations) So for him to want to initiate this action mostly/only when they're alone and a bit more personal should mean something more.

Season One

Episode one: System

- "okay so what are you doing here?" Asked with a slight smirk and deadly fixated eyes. I see you evil white man, I see you.

- "you're about as Italian as a McDonald's" only caught that line during this rewatch cus I read the pilot script

- "why didn't he leave it to you, then?" And then remembering Richie saying "that's why I thought you stayed" in season four. Sigh.

- "I know how to make pasta," IM THINKING ABOUT YOUR METAS GUYS I CANT SHTOP

- "that's FIRE chef" ... Fire. Fire. Fire. THESE FIRE/WATER MOTIFS ARE GONNA KILLLLL MEEEEEE.

- scene where they're cookin' the meat and then Natalie shows up, the song playing in the back is the same as the Mikey flashback in ep1s4.

- sorry bout the gun babe I had to get real

Episode two: Hands

- never realized that Uncle Jimmy saying "you can't start at fucked" at a low volume as well as a quick shot of his forehead was in Carmen's first nightmare when he almost burnt the kitchen down.

- everyone's reactions to the 'C' is so hilarious

- some of the most GENUINELY funny dialogue is in this episode

- "Sydney, you wanna help? You can take him" huh. Looks like you're already gettin' awfully comfortable dropping family stuff onto Sydney, Carmen.

- "I went to urgent care and-" I STILL NEED RO KNOW WHAT CARM DID TO PETE BRUH

- sharpie motif moment(??) the "-army" spelt on the health investigators 'C' was written in sharpie

- the smile carm gives Syd "you're pass, chef"

- Richie and Carmen having their moment outside before Carmen realizes they're his cigs just so casual after their lil tiff. I just miss them. Bring back season one carm and rich

- I like that it took him realizing they were his cigs to finally consider Al-Anon

Episode three: Brigade

- there was a green light that briefly flashes a long the sea/lake line when Carmen goes on his morning walk on Mikey's birthday.. is that a Gatsby reference? It could be. Has someone written meta on this?

- Carmen you have a habit... Of leaving Syd to the wolves...!

- "Sydney." "Ok. Can you say more?" He's been a D1 Sydney listener

Episode four: Dogs

- the hot dog beef t-shirt fight will never not be funny

- "Michelin mode" okay so that's been the outlook since the beginning. Period.

- Marcus cake makingontage Ohhhh my goodddd I love him so much. You can just tell her wan meant to do this. He's so good.

- carms dad had a "KBL" sweater on in the photo with Jimmy

- Jimmy about Carms dad: "he insisted on doing stupid fucking shit all the time. You know he had a new career every like ten minutes?" Pan to Carms sad-ish fast with a huffed laugh. I wanna know more about Mikey in relation to their dad.

- guys Pete sleeping on Richie and Carmen like I'm sorry not sorry I love him so much.

- ah yes the first carmy-marcus pointing moment

Episode five: Sheridan

- GROUNDHOG DAY POSTER OH MY GOD THEYVE BEEEENNN PLANNING THIS

- I really want that chicken.

- respectfully why are Richie and fak this homosexual

- "you we need to go to Copenhagen and fuck that place up" said Chester...HE KNEEWEWWWEWWW

- "who's Minnie minoso?" - dishwahser guy idk the name of "MR WHITE SOX." - collective response

- I still cant believe that Carmen has always had his emotional support spoon

- "if I don't do anything this place will burn down and all my anxiety will go away with it" please seek therapy my love

Episode six: Ceres

- I mourn Mikey Berzatto like a war wife mourns a lost soldier.

- "you're yikes" I love you Richard I'm sorry homie

- "keep not processing trauma, carm" versus S4. AHHHHHHH. okay baby steps I'm realizing he's taken. Very baby. Like two steps forward one step back.

- Richie and Carmen sharing a cig. Sigh.

- TMI ASF BUT.... Watching Carmen rapid fire chop mushrooms made me clench. I need him.

- everyone coming in between them to try her risotto and telling her it's good but him saying it's not ready. Sigh.

- why are there pill rattling sound effects when Carmen pulls out an empty pill bottle

- "okay.. Mr Carl, and Jon! Hello, associates.. good afternoon" SYDNEY MY SHAYLAAAA

- I love richies character arc so much he was so crazy this episode flying to find his gun. Season two-four Richie would handle this verbally.

Episode seven: Review

- despite being ticked off at it, Carmen is quick to defend Sydney to Richie

- I'll never forget the great SydRichie beef of this day

- "69 all day chef"

- "that's all it is it's business. The point of this is that it is a business" Sydney... Tell that to season four you..

- for once Sydney checking to make sure that she's on good terms with carm

- "get the fuck off my expo chef now! Get the fuck off! Thank you!' that was like.. the most and heaviest he's ever gotten mad at Syd before. I don't think he's ever YELLLED at her the same way since. Like not AT HER. the only thing close I can think of is "they're going to fucking slow!" But then she stood in business real quick.

- "Ebra I got stabbed" carm: "probably fuckin' deserved it"

- okay as much as Carmen was a dick to Marcus, I do have to say.. Marcus was pissing me off.

- the millisecond that Carm went into the fridge before asking Syd "yo, we good?" Was definitely foreshadowing for the fridge moment of season two

- he threw a sharpie at Syd this whole time I thought it was his spoon help

Episode eight: Braciole

- "hey bear-" "I'm gonna set this place on fucking fire" - Mikey. OOHHHHHH MAH GAWD and he literally tries to/jumhles e the fire suppression to let it.

- "food was always out common ground" rewatching his entire monologue at al anon really helps me realize how much of a... For lack of a better term, placeholder Sydney is for Mikey in Carmen's life.

- "- and fuck, I just wanted him to be like 'good job'!" Meanwhile he was ALWAYS talking about Carmen and proud of him.

- "you're not as annoying as usual" "just tired I think... You're dressed like Syd" okay, Even in a platonic lens... Of course it means a lot in the context of Tina and Sydney's relationship. That comparison, yes, but also.. That's the first name on his mind when it comes to the uniform. Okay king.

- "you know how much I loved him right?" "How much?" "A lot. I loved him a lot" let's remember this shall we.

- I'm sorry but I will never ever get over the fact that Carmen still has Sydney's notebook

- we know Sydney has a dream spot. Does she just change her mind or does it just become the bear??

- "he wouldn't take my calls" Carmen I fear that's you as well my love.

- I really wanna know the lore with Richie and Tiffs history and divorce and what fight he got into with tiffs father was all about.

- "you're all I got, cousin" UGHHH I LOVE THEM. PLEASE.

- how is it platonic to feel the NEED to set things straight with a specific someone before feeling ready to open a letter from a passed on loved one?

- the recipe called for ten cloves of garlic and he put like 15-20. Which makes so much sense ense after watching the S4 flashback and how he likes to overdo it with the garlic. Carm, you're just like me, twin.

- best use of a Radiohead song in TV everr