Jun 21
I miss Cosmo, Eggman. I miss her a lot. I'll be back -Tails
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I miss Cosmo, Eggman. I miss her a lot. I'll be back -Tails
x
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Waving at you!!!! Hi!!!!!!
-Movie!Sonic and Game!Sonic (Modern)
Aww!! I never answered this, I'm sorry!!!
You caught me right at the start of my hiatus, sorry Sonic!
Very, very late wave back!! <3
Sorry for vanishing for a while, ive recently found out that I'm also a Chara kin, and I've had to spend some time figuring *that* out.
Well, to be honest I sort of always suspected but never really bothered to check for sure. I went for tails instead since my yearnings for tails and ears were more palpable.
Well, that was until I happened to kinshift into Chara and stay stuck as her for like 4 hours-
So yeah, kinda hard to procrastinate that.
Sometimes when I work late I struggle to get to bed. I always wind up staying up until some ungodly hour..
It's during these that I feel the worst in terms of being a kin. It's almost like my yearning grows rampant.
I want a tail.. I want both of them. I want my ears back, why doesn't anyone use my name, why doesn't anyone know who I am. Why don't I ever hear my name anymore.
It hurts, at times. Right now, in the midnight hours. It hurts to know what I am, because that's all I can dream of anymore.
I really need to roleplay or talk to more kin friends or ANYTHING. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm supposed to be a fox, why don't I feel it. Why doesn't anyone know my name
Oh my, posting twice in a day! How scandalous~
Anyways, I was thinking about how I struggle to feel validated as tails. One of the only ways I can really get that opportunity is through roleplaying.
But then I realized that roleplaying as a kin is.. kinda morbid if you really think about it. I mean, you exist as a character and your acting as you would in that situation. Everyone else is just pretending to be your friends and family. I can't even imagine how it would be with canon kins or kinnies with good memory. You see these people acting out characters the way they interpret, which is wonderful, but it's not right to you. You know that Amy always acted this way, and this Amy acts totally different. Even with other kinds I'm sure it could be unnerving.
I say all this but it's never really bothered me in the past. That could be because I'm a divergent kin, or maybe because I was/am in a pretty lonely spot as a fox, so I was just happy to have friends.
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Following up on the sleepy post, I've slowly taken to drinking energy drinks more and more. It used to just be once every few days, but now it's a part of my routine when I head to work.
For example, I forgot to grab a monster heading in today and I nearly fell asleep running the front counter >~<
I'm a very sleepy fox.. it takes active effort not to take naps.
It doesn't help that I can't stop myself from staying up until midnight every day, but right now I want nothing more than to fall asleep again.
I most certainly cant, since I'll miss work >~<
Vent incoming so heads up!
I doubt this has anything to do with the Kin Sensation, but I've overall accepted the fact that I'm a failure.
I can't bring myself to do the things I need to and severely struggle to take care of myself. I've watched as I've slowly declined over years and years. I tried so many things and nothing's ever stuck for more than a month and it makes me so mad. Why is this so hard. Why can't I get it right.
It's gotten so bad that my bare minimum has dropped to the floor, since that's all I can even manage anymore. All I ever have energy to do is things I want to do that have 0 productivity.
I understand that all I can do is move forward, but it's so frustrating that it's all I ever do anymore.