For a moment he forgot what day it was. He could only remember going to sleep late and somehow waking up in his bed. A yawn came from his lips and he made his way into the shower, blindly looking for the lights. By the time he was out of the shower, Taecyeon felt more refreshed than before. He had hopped to pointedly ignore this day, he already felt lonely before but realizing that he had almost no friends to spend his birthday with after a disappointing Christmas, he didn't want to put himself through it again.
It seemed as if his day had a few bright spots, he had just made it to NOVA when he got a call from his cousin Yien, and then from his Aunt. Both wished him the best and Auntie told him to come by later on to pick up his gift. At least he could count on his family even if he didn't see them. He had already got his well wishes from his parents his gifts were on the way. A small sigh left his mouth as he made his way inside the building. Things went planned as normal, he went to all his classes until it was time to head to CEOX mall, still looking for Hoseok. Finally he gave up and went on ahead but GOD had another surprise for him when he finally saw Jungyeon. That was one of the best parts about the day.
He learned that it was another trainee's birthday while at CEOX and he had meant to go say something but he saw she was around people already, celebrating. It didn't seem as if it was the place for him, then they went to a company dinner and he would have skipped it. Aside from small conversations with the coaches, everyone had groups that they enjoyed being with, it was just lonely but what he hated even more was trying to force himself into the groups of people. His coach remembered though, so he was thankful. The man brought him a green tie and offered a happy birthday with a pat on the back. He wasn't sure if he should fell flattered that he noticed or sad because it felt like pity. In the end, he slipped from the group and made his way out. There was no point in being sad, they didn't need to say anything to him. They didn't have to speak to him. He was twenty now, he had to just get over it but he still hopped to see Hoseok.
But that didn't happen, he made his way to his Aunts dance studio and picked up his gift with a smile and promises to eat more. By the time when he had made it home, he realized his eyes were watering, when did it become so lonely? Even in China with his small social group it never felt like he was alone. He had hopped a few of the people he did talk to in NOVA would come see him or maybe even ask why he was down. Maybe a small birthday wish but he was just there. Lost in this thoughts he didn't know that someone had walked up on the car. "Taecie~" The voice called knocking on the window.
His first reaction was to defend until he saw it was Jason hyung. Quickly the younger boy got out the car and threw his arms around the older man. "Happy birthday kid. Where's that boyfriend of yours?" Tyler slowly shrugged his shoulders. "Did he get you anything...or see you." Again he said nothing until Jason pulled his head back and wiped the tears away. "Let's go hang out with Hyun. You know he got a girl knocked up?" Knowing surprise crossed Taecyeon's face. "Aish, he's always getting himself in trouble. Let me my gifts away, and think about the stern talking to he's going to get." Jason chuckled, happy to see him back to his normal self.
But at least he wasn't down anymore, he could still make something of with the people who wanted him around.
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"Some interesting information came across my desk today," the instructor says, straightening a small stack of papers in front of himself. "It seems you’re an entrepeneur? Ambitious." He pushes the papers across the table, and there on the front is a picture of Taecyeon with his OkCats.
"Everybody loves a good business mind," he explains, "But now’s not the time for that. Now’s the time to train. Management has come to the decision that OkCat is incompatible with NOVA as a brand and could become a conflict of interest in the future. In order to maintain your current relationship with NOVA entertainment, we’ll need you to sever all ties with OkCat and agree that you won’t enter into any other business ventures or contracts with anyone outside of NOVA entertainment without express permission from management."
This time when he was called into the office it felt different. He wasn't sure why, just everyone seemed off, doing things that they didn't normally do, so when it was his turn, he was ready to speak about how he would get his act together even if he felt it wasn't apart but there didn't seem to be anything that he was seriously worried about.
He wasn't ready for the fact that he would have to give up Okcats, at least selling them. It was a product he honestly built for himself but it didn't fit with where he was in life. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he should have been shocked. Somewhere inside of him, he knew he wouldn't be able to keep it up but it didn't come soon.
"I'll think about it." This was all he could offer as he walked out of the room.
After a few days of thinking and talking to people he had come to a final decision, it wasn't something that he wanted to do but it had to be done. In life you had to roll with the punches and accept the fact that things could't work out they way you wanted. There would always be another way, he was sure but it didn't make him happy, having to pick between his childhood and NOVA. It wasn't fair and he didn't expect fair but it was god damned hard.
Taking a deep breath he pushed open the door, and sat down. For a few minutes there was nothing but silence, he felt like he had nothing else to say, he wasn't sure how he could even form the words but the with the expression on his instructors face he knew he had to man up.
"I've made a decision." That caught the interest of the man and he leaned forward. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself.
"I'm willing to sever all ties with my dolls." His voice was barely above a whisper and he was waved away by the coach. With the words 'good idea' following him. Still it was hard, every step out the office was hard and he wondered if this was the biggest sacrifice he had to make. He was pretty sure it wasn't.
He wondered what he could do to get create with his singing. He was a big fan of doing things in the studio just so he could have a nice backdrop to his vocals. Again, he had thought about reaching out to another person but he wanted to shine on his stage just himself. He had found several songs, he could sing.
Each on had it's ups and it's downs but he was sure with enough focus, he would be able to perfect the skill he chose. The idea hit him, as he sat down at the piano. The fading notes of the music in his ears gave him the idea to start playing the song on the piano.
Then he started to hum the words once he settled into a smooth rythem. The humming turned to soft singing, as he worked on the lyrics. His hands glided across the keys and after a moment he just stopped. "Youu should do that." It was another trainee coming to use the piano. "You have a gift, why not show it off." The kid did have a point, maybe he found what he wanted to do, with a little more pep in his step, he walked from out of the room, to go find his coach.
It hadn't been even a few minutes since he walked into the NOVA doors when he was being called over by another trainee. He was given instructions to go meet with Coach Yang about evaluation. Without messing a beat, he traveled to where the office was, wondering what they had to talk about and he wondered if he had done anything wrong with his last one. Still, he was almost scared to go in and see what was going on with the women.Â
 "Hello." He said softly with a bow of his head, Coach Yang just smiled and offered him a seat before turning back the file she was reading. It seemed as if time dragged on when she finally was ready to speak to him and he honestly wasn't sure if he was in trouble or not. "For the monthly evaluation in march."Â
He paused for a moment trying to keep up just because March wasn't far away but it wasn't close either. "We want you to work on, preform and showcase in your weakest skill." It wasn't even a minute before he knew what it was -singing. He wasn't a singer, he could beatbox and rap and dance, but singing. That was a big no no for him. "Once you figure it out, work on it." She went back to her computer and when he didn't get up, she gave him a soft dismiss. "Oh-sorry." He muttered and stood up to leave, wondering what he was going to sing.
His back was against the wall, and he just watched the people passing by him. A frown was on his face as he waited for the phone call from his father. Talks with his family, had been quick and showed nothing. Maybe it was the sadness in his voice that his father had called onto and told him to be free later for a phone call. To be honest, Tyler thought he was in trouble but he wouldn't disobey his father. To him that was a big no no.
So he waited, trying to figure out what was wrong and his sister wasn't texting him back, he was just a sitting duck. A few idea's crossed his mind but he laid them to rest because those things wouldn't have gotten back to his father he was sure of it. But the phone call still wasn't coming and he was still unsure what was going to happen.
Another twenty minutes passed and a sigh left his mouth, maybe his father was waiting for him to call. Something just felt off but he wasn't sure what it was. Still his time for a phone call was up and he had to rush off to his next class. Biting his lip, he tried to hide his disappointment. The felling in his stomach that something was wrong.
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He cleared his throat and sat down in front of the piano, a look ghosted over his face as she flicked through his phone, it was late at night when one of his hyungs had texted his phone and kept texting it. It wasn't that Tyler was sleep, he was trainging, still training. Three AM in the morning, he was dancing in the practice room.
Finally, after a quick nap in his car, he finally sat down at the piano and looked through the screen caps that had been sent to his phone and at first he dismissed everything, people could buy their way into anything and it wasn't that he really believed, and even the twitter drama was sent to him and he brushed it aside, because his hyungs had nothing better to do.
The scandal, ( did he even want to call it that? ) came up again during lunch, and his small group of friends that he sat with at lunch grew larger and everyone was whispering about, then it moved on from how people brought their way in, too people didn't deserve to be in NOVA, the thoughts brought back a question that was asked to him and he wondered did he really deserve his place in NOVA? Because it seemed like he eased into the company. One of the boys he had grew close too, said he tried five times to audition before he got in NOVA and though he thought he did it well, Tyler could see the restentment in the others eyes when he told them that he got in the first try.
"I'll see you later." He muttered the words and got up from the table, the self doubt that he pushed away, managed to come up and he wondered if he was still good enough be in the company. It was tiring, and some nights he found himself staying until five am when he was suppose to be leaving, and suddenly he lost track of time. A quick trip back home to shower and he was out again. He wondered if everyone worked this hard, they had to but he wondered why he was working, was it because he really wanted it or because it was just what he was suppose to do?
Nova seemed pointless, because he was starting to feel like he didn't work anything he had, and more people were whispering about it, so he had to prove himself, over and over and over because this couldn't pointless, he wouldn't let it be pointless, that's what he hoped at least.
His moms voice was hard but Taecyone shrugged, even though she couldn’t see it, she knew because he didn’t say anything and her son was a talker, he was someone who wouldn’t shut up when he felt like it. It was a change that she hadn’t seen happen so randomly before, she didn’t even see it, she felt it. “I won’t let you do that.” Her voice was firm and Tyler pulled the phone away from his ear to look.
"But-"
"No buts, you’ve been in Korea for too long, you established yourself there. Why would you give up on that? What have we taught you? What has your father taught you?"
He didn’t say anything as she started to rant, only listened picking at his clothes. She knew he was right but a lot had happened and he felt like running home, who didn’t think that from time to time? Would he really give up? Maybe not but it didn’t stop the thoughts from rolling around in his head, it kept up at night. Just thinking about what life could be like back in China. He’d have the things treasured by his side, he missed his family. It ached so deep within him, that he didn’t even want to think about it sometimes. He’d wake up remembering the day to day routines, and it hit him hard as she pushed himself at an almost empty NOVA building that he hadn’t made the family he thought he was going to get.
"Are you listening to me?"
"Yes mom~" He teased and leaned his head back against the wall, pulling his legs closer to his body. A sigh wanted to come out but he held it at bay, so his mother wouldn’t start up again. Honestly, it was just comforting to hear her voice, because he missed the good mornings and good nights. He didn’t know what it was, that spark that came with being around people who loved you, never having to second guess who you were. That acceptance. That was what he wanted but for some reason things were being pointed as if that was the only thing that defined him. Back home, he was big little kid. He didn’t have to defend himself, people didn’t push the extra mile to be extra, it was simple. Right now he wanted simple.
