Dear Taco Pal, 

Well–truth be told I had something written already….but….tumblr did a thing and deleted it. So I’m trying not to be angry and still write this…trying to remember what I previously wrote.

First off, I want to start with I miss you. Because I do. I feel your absence to this day. But of course, that’s how life is. You took the decision to leave because you saw that it was best for you. And I supported it then and support it now. Because you need to take care of yourself…and you know what’s best for yourself as well. But–this doesn’t mean I don’t miss you. Because I do–I think about the time we first met. How you were one of the first people I let in my life. Even if we did end up speaking of music the first time we met–I still felt comfortable with someone other than my members. It felt different–nice. You taught me that it’s okay to begin trusting in the world a little more. That even if I’ve been through hell and back during my earlier years that–it’s time to let all that go. To not be afraid of the world. I thank you for that. 

Sometimes I wonder about how my life would be with you still here and truth be told it makes me tear up. But I don’t want you being hard on yourself because of this. I still fully support everything you do that makes you happy–but as I said…I won’t stop missing you. I recall our late night conversations, you’d tell me to go to bed because it was only midnight and you know I get tired around that time. You’d remind me to eat often because you know how I am when I’m busy. I forget about meals too often when working. 

Have I ever told you the chance to tell you about this person who makes the world more vibrant? I’m very much in love with him. But I know what you care about the most is if he treats me well and makes me happy. The answer to this, of course, is a definite yes. So don’t worry about that heh. Although, you always had the habit of worrying too much about me and I’m the older one. But you always wanted to protect me–always looking out for me. Always so selfless when it came to me. I don’t know how to repay you. 

Truth be told, I’m always here worrying about you too. I wonder if there have been new opportunities that have presented themselves to you. If you took them. Maybe you didn’t because you’re still waiting for something else. I wonder how your family’s doing. How you’re doing. When it’s your birthday I do a little prayer and ask for your health and happiness always. I buy flowers…but I can’t give them to you. So I keep them in my apartment and I keep a picture of you with them in my room. I wonder if you’re eating well. And that–even if life has presented you with many obstacles that you can stand up proudly and say you’re happy. Despite the suffering, despite how much it hurt back then. That you were able to make it through and learn. And come back stronger. 

You’ve probably grown up into such a fine beautiful woman. 

It kind of makes me cry just thinking about it.

Just know, I’d never forget you. 

If you ever need anything–you still have me. You know where to find me. And thank you–for watching over me. You could have moved on from this–keep going with your life. And I could have done the same. But…we haven’t because we still care. And we always will.

I truly do believe you’re an angel. I love you. P. S : I hope you’re smiling lots. ;;;

Love.