Social Media.
Firstly, I'd like to start with I know that tumblr is a social media platform, however, I do not use it the same way I used other social media platforms. I'll explain. I find other social media apps like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. very addictive and time consuming. I'm sure most of us can agree.
I still use Youtube and Tiktok but because I don't interact with friends or family and I mostly use it to learn new things, do research, and I only allow myself ten minutes to use it for a max of four times per day, I don't find them distracting. Even me starting to use Tumblr is for me to be able to journal and get my thoughts out freely but it doesn't distract me. The point of me saying all of this, is to express that I have gotten off some of my favorite social media sites.. I don't know for how long.. I don't know if it's permanent. The only thing that I know right now is that I'm getting off of these sites so that I can refocus my energy and reinvent the woman I'm growing to be.
Around Fall of 23' I started going to Therapy and working out. LIFE CHANGING. I never felt so good. I think what makes all of this so transformative is that it's the first time in my life that I feel like I can do anything. I feel like I'm on top of the world, and I know that might sound crazy to most, but for me, I have always struggled with finding something I love and putting my all into it and really committing to showing up everyday without second guessing myself or making myself feel bad. You have to be very determined and disciplined which I struggled with. For once, I feel like I can't be stopped, like anything I want is attainable and at my finger tips.
Now, I recently made a decision to get off of social media because I felt I was not only being distracted but I felt like I was comparing myself. COMPARING MYSELF - losing my umph. Overthinking. I already conquered myself by showing up to the gym, losing my weight, going to therapy, etc. So why am I comparing myself to other people? Why do I feel like I'm not accomplishing enough? Where are these thoughts coming from? So now that these thoughts are eating me up and making themselves comfortable, I decided to logout. Logout, re-ground myself, re-focus, and re-vamp.
I think I'm good, I think I'm smart, I think I'm strong, I think I'm beautiful, I think I'm all these great things.. but I think I can be better..
So, I'm going to get better. By any and all means. Not for anyone else but for me.
-Tabitha.
The Big Bad Wolf.
