#synapticconstruction

hi im so sorry im answering this a billion years late ive been so so busy with everything. but its amazing how did you knowwwww Ive been recently re-reading my roralex fics and have been sorta brainrotting about them. Especially chimerical that one is easily my favourite of all my yiikfics.

I absolutely adore writing and thinking about roralex in a very special way that I haven’t quite reached with their other respective popular ships (that I also really love! alchael x michrory 4eva) for a variety of reasons. The veryyyy thin line of weak friendship/genuine dislike that they teeter with each other that never fully dives into pure hatred nor placid respect is one that I find really grounding in terms of toxicity, and its in That space of realism that I feel really encapsulates early-game YIIK. Alex doesn’t think of Rory as his friend despite Rory (as were shown at least) bending over backwards to please Alex, but he *can* think of him as a potential Lover, enough to kiss him at a bad moment. Rory considers Alex a friend no matter what. Someway, somehow, Rory dies and Alex both assumes and rejects responsibility of it, imagining he can save Rory through his twisted versions of comfort you can give him. What are they? We don’t really know.

And that’s the space I love to play around with! Casual cruelties and desperate pleas for attention from the both of them. The idea that, if friendship can’t hold them together (or at least Alex thinks so), then perhaps a romantic relationship would, stirs at me So Hard. It’s a haphazard fix that ends up hurting more in the end, but it’s better than death and it’s better than being ignored.

Even in I.V, which admittedly changed the shipping dynamics of YIIK the game and in the fandom A Lot, it’s still really fascinating. How in I.V they’re juxtaposed with the Brother dichotomy, but there’s nothing actually new between them as characters. They are forever distant, completely ideologically opposed in Nameless Segments. Brothers only in name, and definitely not family. Their stories expanded around them, but not between them. A dedicated hater could totally take that as roralex slander but personally I really love the persistent wedge between them. It personally just serves to further highlight the weird relationship that we actually see them having and interacting with each other within, and thus more space for me to play with my Toxic Touys.

and. and uhhhhh

Though I wonder and out of curiosity how did you come across Vivziepop? What compelled you to be as engaged when discussing her current former self?

Apologies if they aren’t good questions per say but I appreciate the work you’ve done and hope things are currently better on your end. (Scary with the current “allegations” they’re throwing your way)

Nah, they're great questions! I enjoy revisiting this story.

I discovered Hazbin in the summer of 2020. COVID lockdown was in full swing, I was suffering some incredibly triggering fandom stuff, and my grandma had just died. Then Addict dropped and it was like a lifeline had been thrown out. I imprinted on Angel hard and fast. For a while, I breathed Helluva/Hazbin, thought Vivzie was brilliant to write the Hazbin pilot and the Instagrams...of course, she didn't write either, not the parts I loved.

The pilot cast being dropped, and the realization that Vivzie was lying about it being a union thing out of her control, was my first hint that something was...off. I didn't know what at the time, but the way she handwaved them off, the coldness of it after gushing that she owed everything to them, and that they were like family to her, marked the first crack in the rose colored glasses.

Then Erin Frost spoke out, then Ken. Once you realize how much of a shitty person Viv is, how many hurt people and outright lies her success is built on, you can never really unsee it. I started talking about it casually on my blog, edging deeper down the rabbit hole, and then suddenly I was talking to all these people who used to know Viv, learning just how much went on behind the scenes, and then suddenly people were showing me things...

HIII YES we’re very much still on a sitcom roll!! We’re about to start season 7 of Brooklyn 99 so no new debriefs in a bit but we’ll be finishing up soon and seeing where we go next (I think we talked about Community?)

ANYWAY. all these sitcoms I’ve been watching with my gf are basically my only interactions with live action shows At All. I’m very much not a tv show person which is why she’s dragged me into watching all these sitcoms at all. I’m very uncultured in this department. but out of all the ones I’ve watched so far… really the most immersive to me would be North of North, since it’s such a specific life experience that I’ve grown up with that I’ve never seen on TV at all. So naturally I am quite biased to it (also it’s funny as fuck.) I have an ask in my inbox I’ve been putting off on writing out of laziness that goes more into detail abt it tho so I wont dawdle here.

But I’d also say that the early seasons of The Office were really immersive. I can see why it’s such a beloved classic that even if I wanted to try and go against the grain I don’t think I could. The characters all feel so genuinely real to me precisely because most of them are assholes but they don’t quite all characterize themselves as *The* Dysfunctional Asshole Cast like, say, CXGF or even Parks & Rec. they just feel like people who really live in their own head and think what they’re doing is good or funny or righteous and everyone else is doing it wrong in a very very mundane setting with such low stakes and by god is that very real and engaging. I get a similar vibe from Superstore (perhaps I am just biased to low scale personal retail drama…)

HAIII FOX :3 nice to see you <3 i will gladly tell you all about it i have been Dying to talk abt how i write yiik bc honestly, my fics for this game have been among my favourite to write! i might even have to put this under a read more lol

SO okay heres the thing. it helps to separate the story of YIIK into layers of reality. my personal layers (because god knows other people interprets it differently): there is Alex’s Reality (the story of YIIK taken completely as factual, delusions and lies and all. the year is 1999), and there’s the Outsider’s Reality (strip away all of Alex’s delusions and try to find what really happened. Michael being years older than Alex and moving away is here. the year is 2016). theres also the 4th wall which is self-explanatory.

so with these layers, there is no really hard line between any of them, including the 4th wall. it’s damn near impossible to ever truly tell how much of the characters we know is part of which reality, especially the Outsider’s Reality. we’ll likely never know Vella’s true name, how Rory actually interacted with Alex, what Michael really thought of Alex. the game of YIIK itself is riddled with allusions to other media that can only be pieced together understood by us the players, and never the characters themselves.