I know the answers probably no, so it's useless asking, but would Swone ever have a chance of coming back or having some sort of rerun in a way?
"Rerun?" Like I'm some kind of late-night broadcast? I think "rerun" is just what you get when you go back over my blog. If you really want to, that is. I wouldn't.
I also can't "come back," I never left. Still me in this house. Still cooking and cleaning. Still haunted by lurking shadows. Still festering, like a--
Uh...actually. Sorry, I'm being dramatic. Forgive me. I just turned...forty. Last month. Forty years old. It's still sinking in. Nothing like hitting a major decade to rattle you, I guess.
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Can we have a tour of your house? Is it a factory?
I suppose, if you're really interested. It's not a factory, or anything, just a house.
I mentioned before, I, uh. Live apart from the factory. Work continues without me.
Here's the kitchen, you may be familiar.
The back door there leads to a little hallway, like a, whachamacallit. An entryway? It has the entrance to the basement, and then it goes out to my backyard.
It's freezing, so. Just take my word for it.
If you take my word on anything, that is.
Lessee. Uh. There's the living room, the dining room. The front door.
There's a little half bathroom next to the front door too, which is typical of New England weirdness. Don't ask me why.
Uh. I suppose we could go upstairs.
There's not much to see, but, y'know. It's part of the house. Exciting, right?
Sooo, here's the upstairs hall.
There's the actual bathroom, through there, with a tub and stuff. Besides that, just closets out here. There's like an awkwardly shaped closet every 3 feet. Another weird New England thing.
Not sure what's meant to be kept in them, but when I moved in there was like an old rug and some dusty wires, so those are...still in there. Also parts from a broken vacuum. Otherwise they're empty. I don't have too much stuff to store outside of my office.
Speaking of which: the office.
Oh, uhm, also.
We're not going in my bedroom. But that's up here too.
Anyway, ta-daa, the upstairs office.
I don't tend to actually use it as a place to work. I just keep old paperwork and clothes. Just old factory plans, some thneed desi--OH!
Oh-oh-oh! Wait, you'll like this!
I know I have it somewhere! Hang on. I definitely still--Ah! Yes, yes! Here it is.
Hoo-hoo, a famous Swag-Oneler thneed. Still all folded up in it's collector's box. I keep forgetting this is around.
God, I still get a little jittery looking at this. This one was just when we did the re-brand, but we didn't really change much about the original design from waayyy back when, just little tweaks for quality.
I was so nervous around this time, I couldn't even pay attention to much of what the marketing department actually did with the packaging. I'm not even sure if this is the final version that got distributed to the retail outlets, probably just a mock-up that I just vaguely nodded at, haha.
You wanna know the best thing about new thneeds? The smell. This one isn't new, but it definitely still has it.
I remember people looking at me weird when I would visit the Textile Processing department and just stick my face into bins of harvested truffula. I couldn't help it.
It's like. I don't even know if I could properly describe it.
It's so...it smells like...something that's been warmed by the sun just moments before you picked it up. Even though it's been in a cold, dusty closet this whole time.
That's not even a smell, is it? It's not warm to the touch, it just...smells warm? Kinda. I'm not doing it justice at all.
It's so fresh, and familiar, and, cozy, and...well, you get the idea. I love these things. Maybe it's just a onceler predilection. Maybe not, I dunno.
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I'm surprised you don't have a speech impediment with those teeth. Saying 'th' must be difficult without biting your tongue huh? Did you really think selling 'THneeds' was the best idea?
Why is everyone concerned with my teeth and eyes suddenly?
I don't have a speech impediment, but I'll be honest, it took me a long time to practice without injuring my mouth in some way. After this whole experience, I am firmly against having razor sharp teeth. I do not recommend it.
