#sweetspeech

finding resources on how to Feel more like a magical girl really sucks !! bc there are no good ones !!!!! i try to make my own little ways but sometimes its not enough :( most stuff i find is waaaaayyy too hardcore for me. idk. i dont want to have a debilitating dissociative episode just to be happy, thanks. i wanna have a healthy little escape that i can feel immersed in yk ? something that really feels tangible but healthy and nice. idk why didnt my mind choose a normal otherkin thing like cats or dogs dude magicalgirling is hard as fuck LOL i cant winnnn

last night was the only night in a very long time that i felt happy trying to go to sleep. sometimes i forget how happy i am that i have a bunch of big rilakkumas in my bed to hug...... i just held onto one really tightly and imagined what nice things i wanted to dream about ^_^

every so often i enter a stage where i think "if i dont become a magical girl im going to kill myself right now" and brother its that time. of the month. i jhve my period

i had a dream last night that i was scavenging thru my childhood home (that had been entirely abandoned) to find some old stuff... i was with my mom + her bf and we were searching a bunch of boxes and i found this old hello kitty helmet i used to own and ride my rollerskates (that i never used) with :)... i also found some stuff that. never existed! like a toy hairdryer i think? i did used to have a toy hairdryer but nothing like the one in the dream (it was way too big and colorful). i also found a makeup kit and some cute stuffed animals that again didnt ever actually exist.. but i even found my old strawberry shortcake toy laptop!!!.... i rly miss that thing :) it smelled so sweet and it was so cute. overall a really comforting dream. made me just a bit sad but still. 8/10 warm and fuzzy inside

i wish i could give the little girl inside me from a few years ago the kind of room i have now. she would have really wanted it and im sorry that she never got it when it wouldve mattered most

usagi tsukino would have benefitted from a 504 or perhaps an iep

awawa.....

listening to transformation music in the shower just to make it all worth it man