#sweetly.written

you had been visiting the cafe going on two and a half years now, it was a place where you felt the world made sense, as did your assignments. without fail you came every tuesday afternoon, on friday mornings you would sit and wait for the world to wake up with you and every sunday you sat there from open to close.

so the initial feeling of shock when you arrived on friday morning, albeit around ten minutes later than what you normally do and you weren’t able to open the door to the cafe had you stumped. Mr Lee always had the door unlocked, even though trade didn’t start for another half hour, it allowed you to catch up your past week before the morning rush started.

knocking on the door you were met with the face of someone who definitely wasn’t there normally...

as he walked to the door he motioned to the little clock that indicated opening times, when you didn’t budge he simply turned and walked out the back. you had no idea who he was, tall and extremely cute but you would much rather be sitting inside the cafe as the air was beginning to grow extremely crisp of the morning as winter began creeping its way through.

knocking once again and shifting foot to foot, the guy appeared again this time yelling out to someone and turning his back to you waiting at the door. hurried footsteps headed your way as Mrs. Lee rushed to open the door, much to his confusion.

“..feel being out there at this time! honestly juyeon where are your manners. hello my dear, sorry about that, we did tell him to unlock the door if you arrived and we weren’t out here” ushering you into the warm room, she closed the door behind you.

shaking your head, as you placed your things on the table in front “it’s fine really. i guess he just isn’t used to being disturbed before open. where’s Mr. Lee i haven’t seen him this morning, normally he’s talking my ear off by now.”

a smile graced her face as she thought of her husband, ever as in love as the day they met they claim.

“he’s away actually, off with his brother for a small holiday. that’s why my nephew is here, you must be craving that drink - i’ll get it started. we also got a new recipe that i wanted to get you to try so i’ll grab you one of those too!”

as she left your side, you pulled your books closer to you, opening all of the notebooks you brought immediately getting started with your study schedule and organising what you needed for your afternoon classes.

you barely noticed the guy who turned away from you earlier, walking over with your coffee, “i’m sorry”

jolting from your thoughts you looked up, silently you made a space for the drink, holding it in your hands you felt the warmth begin to spread through your fingertips, it made you smile

“it’s okay, you didn’t know. if you’re still here sunday then hopefully you won’t be too shocked when i appear so early again” sending him a smile of reassurance you turned back to your books as you got a notification from your phone.

running your hands down your face you quickly began grabbing your things, “Mrs. Lee! I have to run, my professor changed our class to an early slot, I’ll be back later on today okay!”

staring at the drink you never got to taste, you were quick to rush out of the café barely remembering to drop the money for your drink and rushing out the door

It just had to be the day a cute boy is working…

thanking every possible higher power that getting through the class easy, as you went to enter the café seemed a lot busier than what you remember it normally is. tables were completely packed and life was loud and buzzing through the glass windows.

noticing that Mrs. Lee was currently clearing the table you normally sat at, you hurried through the somehow large crowd to speak to her, “is it just me, or is it insanely full for an early afternoon?”

smiling she grabbed your books placing them on the table before someone else could, she nodded her head, “apparently my nephew is quite the people person, take a seat my dear and I’ll get you your things as soon as possible, but it might take a little longer with mister popular over there working the machine.”

trying to get through your days work felt like it would be an impossible task, especially with what felt like a hundred eyes staring you down after barista boy came to bring you your drink and the pastry you were promised early morning.

fingers crossed it died down on Sunday…

much to your luck, it hadn’t, if anything it was like it got busier. It definitely didn’t help by the tight white shirt that he had been wearing. its not like you could really fault the busy cycle that had been going on, but you did happen to notice the work or lack thereof that you were able to get through by the time the lunch rush began to quiet down.

“hey, I’m just letting you know that we’re going to close the doors for a little bit to try and get on top of everything. you don’t have to leave but we won’t have any coffee for the next thirty at least” broke through the smooth voice of the boy you still hadn’t learnt the name of. nodding you’re a head you closed your eyes as the last dawdling customers made their way out.

it finally felt quiet, if you listened close enough you could hear the mixer turning at the back, and the rustling of bags being moved around. glancing around the café you noticed how much traffic had actually gone through the doors, closing your books you walked to the counter reaching over to pick up a spray and a clean wipe, you moved silently to the tables wiping them down and straightening everything back up.

it was funny, you didn’t even know his name but you moved in complete harmony, every time he tried to reach out and grab the cleaning supplies out of you grasp you would bump his arm away and shoo him towards the counter.

in the blink of an eye the café was cleaned up and ready to reopen for the afternoon, sitting back down you stared at your books. with an upcoming test you hoped that somewhere someone was listening to your prayers of a quiet afternoon.

a glass was sat in front of you, but for the first time the boy sat down to, “thank you, for your help. I didn’t think it would be so busy for a Sunday…” he looked genuinely exhausted,

Poor thing…

“it’s no issue really, it’s not like I was getting much work done anyways. I barely made it through half of what I normally do”

as his eyes wandered through the open books, he couldn’t help the small smile that grew looking at how everything was set out in the books.

“you know, I don’t think I ever even caught your name, I’ve been serving you drinks and food all day and it isn’t the first day we’ve met… it feels kind of weird asking for your name now though, I was hoping that someone you knew would come in and say it so I didn’t have to ask” his hand reached behind his head as he looked away with a hint of pink growing in his cheeks

smiling you flipped through your past notes, “[name]”

his eyes snapped back to you, a pretty smile graced his face, “[name], it suits you. Well [name] its been an honour to serve you your coffee’s today, hopefully the afternoon is more quiet for you”

he quickly got up and moved away from you, and made his way to the door to open it again for trade, “hey wait! You never told me yours…”

sending you a wink, he welcomed the next customer into the store, guiding them to the counter to place their order.

almost two hours later you were getting ready to pack up your books, when a pastry was placed in front of you, as you went to comment you just saw the back of his head as he headed to the table across from you.

shaking your head, you waved to Mrs. Lee and headed out, opening the pastry bag all that sat inside was another pastry that you had sampled the other day and a note

it was a sudden change, it felt like it happened overnight really, from searching for each other to barely acknowledging if the other was in the same room.

“smile. that’s all you have to do, don’t ruin his day because you lost your chance with that silly crush of yours”

and so you did, you smiled, laughed when everyone else did, clapped when everyone cheered, and cried. tears began to fall and as they did, you looked into the sky. 

remembering when you would do so, laying on the grass with him by side and watching the clouds pass through over the hours. 

then after a breath, you looked at him as he made his way down the isle, hand in another and met your gaze. his smile faltered at your tears, but as time felt like it paused you closed them once again, you weren’t his anymore so your emotions aren’t allowed to effect him. 

the reception was beautiful, but nothing felt like him. the drapes, the colours and you knew how much he hated those flowers - he said they reminded him of a bad drama. the only things that seemed like him, were the occasional songs that played through the room.

you waited, waited until it was acceptable for you to leave, then you could finally turn away and not look back. you needed a fresh start, and one far from changmin.

“you look stunning, I didn’t think you would show up” his voice was soft, quiet but it felt like he was yelling at the top of his lungs

you couldn’t look at him, instead humming to indicate you heard him and stayed looking out onto the floor as people danced and mingled.

“you look happy, I’m glad” you turned your head slightly to glance at him, only to see changmin already looking at you

“[name]”

shaking your head, you could clearly see the look in his eyes, it was the same look he had when he walked with you before he told you he was getting married, hell you didn’t even know he was seeing someone.

you were probably too caught up in your dreams and fairytales to know...

grabbing your things you sent him a smile, “the only thing I wanted from today was to know you were happy, and now that you are I don’t feel so sad about leaving here. you’ll do great things, and be a great husband. this much I know. but I think it’s time for me to go, goodbye changmin”

as you turned and left the hall, the burning in your eyes was becoming more and more prominent the quicker you walked away. 

far enough where you could no longer hear the crowd or music molded together you stopped to take a breath.

“[name]!” 

sighing in complete and utter frustration, your turned to meet changmin’s eyes once again, “go changmin. you have a wedding to get back to”

shaking his head at you he reached out his hand to try and pull you close to him, pausing as he watched you take a step back

“what do you mean goodbye. we never said goodbye, we never have, it’s always been a see you soon or I’ll text you. [name] why are you saying goodbye”

“because that’s what this is!” you voice exclaimed as fresh tears pooled in your eyes,

“that’s what this is changmin. this is goodbye. I can’t keep doing this”

his brow furrowed and his own tears began to form, he was fighting the change and he was losing, he was losing you

“[name] please, I don’t want to say goodbye to you. we were everything”

“exactly, we were. past tense and we can’t keep trying to stay like this, you have a new life now. one that I’m not in”

shaking his head he walked closer to you as you kept walking back, because you knew, if he held you that you would keep fighting it too. and it wasn’t fair on you, for once you chose to be selfish, you chose to end this.

“stop. please I am begging you stop, I’m already hurting enough please” you both let your tears fall, without anymore words you turned your back to him and kept walking away

“I just want to know why, why can’t you stay”

he sounded desperate, hurt and somehow frustrated. 

“because it’s not me. all of this, you promised all of this” you turned with anger and pain bubbling over inside of you,

“tell me, tell me why I wasn’t enough! hell I didn’t even know you were interested in someone let alone going to marry them. you hurt me, you made promises you never kept and you made me believe that we were that forever. that I was going to be your forever changmin and it freaking hurts.”

taking a shuddering breath, you held eye contact with him, “I swore on every single star that you were the one, that it would be us in that room surrounded by our people, our friends. you can’t just go from holding someone, kissing them and telling them that you love them to marrying someone else! and then expecting them to stay.”

wiping your face, you closed your eyes and centered yourself as you turned away for the last time,