#sweetbansummer

Caitlin has known you since freshman year. She learned early on that the two of you shared the same major (which she was over the moon about). You caught her eye long before she ever caught yours and that was only because she had put herself in a position to get noticed by you (when she finally got the guts to do so). It took her a whole year before she worked up the courage to say a single word to you and do you remember that word? No. But does Cait? Absolutely.

It was in a stats class sophomore year, she was sitting right behind you, has been in every class she has had with you. There was an exam that day and you had realized you didn't have a no.2 pencil for your scantron. You turn behind you, eyes meeting Cait's and you ask her for a pencil. Her response? 'Yes.' And she provides you with the only pencil she has.

See Caitlin would typically facepalm at the fact that she now has no way of completing her own exam but instead she sat there memorizing the moment when your eyes connected with hers and the faint look of concern that disappeared the second she passed her pencil to you. Caitlin was left rushing to finish the exam when her friend sitting next to her passed her a pencil.

Caitlin ended up getting a C on the exam. To her, it was worth it. She would do it again in a heartbeat.

All throughout college, Caitlin would secretly hope that you would be in each of her classes. She even went as far as changing her schedule a few times when she found out you weren't in her class. That was not an easy feat considering she was a student athlete but once Cait set her mind to something, her determination moved mountains.

Even though she would be in the same class as you, the most she would do is stare at the back of your head - wishing you would turn around so she could see your eyes. She felt like a fool waiting for you turn your head just so she could get a good glimpse of you.

There was one day about half way through spring semester when class ends early and Caitlin has her second conversation with you.

You were about to head out, grabbing your bag from your desk after packing it up. As you grab the strap, lifting it up, it breaks causing all of your belongings to scatter across the floor. You curse under your breath as you bend down to grab the contents of your bag.

As you are on the ground, you notice someone crouching next to you and the next moment you feel yourself being pushed to the ground.

You fall to the side with a little 'hmmmph'.

"I am so so sorry," the girl mumbles, as red as a tomato. She doesn't know whether to help you up or continue gathering your things. As Caitlin was bending down to help, she lost her balance and ended up pushing you over.

You see the conflict in her eyes and begin to laugh, which only makes the girl even more red.

You lift you hand up, asking for her help up.

Caitlin freezes, looking at you, knowing the palms of her hands are sweating. You lift your eyebrows, then let out a little frown. She tries to compose herself and decides to wipe her hands on her pants before taking your hand to help you up.

"Thanks," you say softly, realizing how nervous the girl in front of you is.

She just nods and goes back to gathering your belongings.

It makes you smile.

The two of you finish picking up the contents of your bag and stand. Once you do, you introduce yourself.

Caitlin, of course, already knows who you are but she isn't going to admit that fact. Nor is she going to admit the fact that she has known of who you are for over a year and could probably tell you more about yourself than you may even know.

Like when you sit down, you flip the hair on the left side of your body over your shoulder and then tuck it behind your ear. Or how when you are thinking really hard, your eyebrows furrow and you lick your lips. She has also learned that you never use your phone in class, even when waiting for the professor to begin lecture or during breaks. You sit there and review your notes or turn to your side and spark up a conversation with someone around you - she only wished she had the courage to sit closer to you so that conversation would be directed at her.

Caitlin has also noticed how you tap your pencil when you daydream. Not an annoying tap, you tap it on your hand as your eyes seem to be looking at the professor but your mind is completely elsewhere. This one took Cait a long time to learn since she would almost always sit behind you. But there was one class where the professor had you all sit in a circle of desks rather than in lines and she got to observe you in a different light.

One of her favorite things she has noticed and has come to love is your smile. She didn't catch it all the time but when she did, she was completely and utterly smitten. She would find herself smiling, then blushing realizing she is smiling uncontrollably due to you.

"I'm Caitlin," she says with a little smile. If anyone asked, you would say her little smile was adorable.

No one asked.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Caitlin," you say with a smile of your own. "You are on the basketball team, right?"

Cait nods a little faster than she intends to.

"That is so cool," you say. "I'll have to come check out a game."

Caitlin feels like she could combust from excitement. YOU coming to one of HER games? Where you would watch her do what she does best, absolutely.

"Hey thank you again for helping me out," you say, touching her arm lightly with a smile. "It was nice meeting you Caitlin."

Before she knows it, you have your back to her and are walking out of class.

Caitlin was too excited at the fact that you now know who she is and wanted to come to a game of hers to be embarrassed by the fact that she didn't say anything other than her name. She is also trying to savor the feeling of your touch on her arm. Your hand felt like the softest hand to have ever graced her.

Over the next few weeks, Cait has tried not to think too much into the fact that you could potentially be at one of her games. The last thing she needed was a reason to be nervous in the one area of life that she has never been nervous.

When she didn't see you at the first home game following your meeting, she tried not to be disappointed. If anything, she hid it really well. She played like she always did - all gas, no brakes.

The next few games, she found herself looking over at the student section more often than she had before. Walking over to celebrate with them in hopes that her eyes will fall upon you standing in the middle of the crowd, cheering her on like everyone else. But she doesn't - you are not found in the crowd and her disappointment grows.

After that, things went back to the way they used to be. Caitlin observing you in class and not really doing much to seek out your attention.

That is until March of junior year when she looks out into the crowd during one of the games leading into March Madness and finds you. She is ecstatic which quickly turns to sick when she sees someone's arm wrapped around you as they pass you a drink, kissing your temple.

Caitlin doesn't remember much after that, but she ends up snagging a triple-double during the game. Over the next few weeks, Cait feels the full effects of why it's called a crush.

Senior year rolls around and without having to switch any classes, you are in 4 out of the 5 classes Caitlin is taking. She still finds herself looking your way when you enter the room - really whenever you make any sort of move.

In one of the classes you shared during the second semester, you took the liberty to sit next to her for the first time. Of course it makes Caitlin's heart go a mile a minute but she has to constantly remind herself that you are taken and she has every reason to have no strings holding her down. With her battling with the decision to declare for the W draft or stay, she needs to make the decision that is best for her and only her. Also when Cait thinks about it, it's crazy that she thinks about you in her future when you are taken and haven't shown any interest in her.

Day one, you sit next to her with a wide smile.

"Caity girl!" You say with an enthusiasm that could have Caitlin run a marathon.

"Hi," she says, hoping she doesn't sound as sheepish as she feels. Hearing your little nickname for her has her wanting to hear it 24/7.

"After how many classes we have had together, we finally get to sit next to each other. Seems like a long time coming, am I right?" You say as you situate yourself.

Caitlin nods, she knows no matter what the two of you could talk about, you would always be right.

"Well, better late than never," you say as you open your notebook. It was in this moment that Caitlin realized something that she never really noticed before. You are the only one in class who is handwriting their notes while everyone else is on their laptop. She wonders why.

As the semester goes on, the two of you have little conversations here and there. You try not to pry into the life of a girl who you think always has eyes on her while Caitlin wants to unload everything about who she is to you. It is a very interesting balance really.

There is one week when Cait is super sick and doesn't make it to any classes but ends up traveling and playing a massive game.

When she gets back, and finally begins to feel like she is recovering - she gets an email from you.

[Class Notes 2/11

Hey Caity Girl - we missed you in class this past week but a friend said you were really under the weather. I thought I would share the notes from this past week so you don't fall too far behind. I know you are already doing so many different things and hope this makes it a little easier to manage. Feel better soon, ya? I miss having my notes buddy in class.

One attachment: Scanned by Gmail - *Notes for Caity Girl*]

Caitlin is smiling from ear to ear when she sees your email come in. After she noticed that you handwrite all your notes, she converted to doing the same. She was nowhere near as fast as you were but whenever you noticed she was slightly behind, you would slide your notebook towards her to help her catch up.

Caitlin distinctly remembers when you showed up to class one day with a messy bun and puffy eyes. She was ready to get up and fight whatever or whoever left you in this state.

You go throughout class trying to be as normal as possible, not noticing the worried glances of the girl next to you. At the end of class, you don't move to get up. Neither does Caitlin.

The two of you just sit there. Caitlin doesn't try to say anything and you don't talk either. At one point, you lean your head onto her shoulder and let out a shaky exhale. Caitlin slides your rolling chair closer to hers and lets you rest on her. She brings her hand to rub soft, slow circles on your lower back - just like her mom would for her when she was overwhelmed.

"I am here if you ever want to talk," Caitlin says softly, not wanting to push you in any way.

You let out a soft, 'thank you' and sit up on your own. The two of you finally leave the classroom and head your separate ways.

Later that day, Caitlin finds out that you and your girlfriend broke up. She didn't know details nor did she want to. All she wants to do is hold you and tell you that everything is going to be alright because you are you. And that she thinks you are the most amazing girl in the world and that you are loved and cherished and deserve nothing but best for the rest of your days. But she doesn't, she can't.

Neither of you talk about that day. You seem to go back to your normal self and Caitlin wonders how you compose yourself so easily.

As the semester is coming to a close and Caitlin's world feels like it is about to explode with different things, she can't help but sit and grieve the fact that you aren't going to be a part of it.

Over the past four years, she has slowly gotten to know you and has secretly fallen in love. No one knew and no one would ever know, but her heart screams for you. No other person compares to you in her eyes and she feels like she will never find another you.

Caitlin believes that you are the one for her.

She doesn't know how that would ever happen considering she doesn't even know where the next few weeks will take her but she is down right convinced that you are a part of her future.

When the time comes to leave campus for the final time as a student, Caitlin prays she runs into you. She doesn't care if she see's you across campus and has to spring to catch you, she would do it. She just needs to get one moment with you so she can open the door to a possibility of more.

If there is one regret that Caitlin has at her time as a Hawkeye, it is never being bold enough to get your number. She knows she has had to be careful but when it came to you - she should have been bold.

As she drives off campus with her parents, her heart breaks wishing she would have had the courage.

The next few months for Caitlin are a whirlwind. Being drafted no.1 to Indiana and going from the NCAA championship to her rookie season without slowing down has taken a bigger toll on her than she would ever admit. But she couldn't slow down.

Cait is so caught up that she misses when you attend one of her games - your first time watching her as a professional.

You didn't want to make a big deal out of it because to anyone around during your college days the two of you were just classmates. You never hung out outside of class and really only knew each other because you studied the same major. So when it came to trying to get her attention after a game - a sold out, Fever home game - there was really no pull as to trying to get her attention. You honestly didn't even know if she would recognize you.

It is after the game, after the team huddle and the stands are cleared when one of the members of the media team came up to show Caitlin some of the raw photos they took of the game when she sees you.

Caitlin almost drops the camera and asks how she can zoom in. And sure enough, there you were. Sitting in an Indiana Fever hoodie, a fat smile on your face watching her.

Cait runs back out to the floor, looking around as if she would magically find you but the fieldhouse is practically empty. She runs over to where you were sitting in the photo and she just stares at the empty row of seats.

You were there. You came to watch her play and she had no idea.

Later that night, she did a little stalking to see if you had posted about being at the game. She comes across your IG profile and sees there is a story waiting to be seen.

Would you think she is a stalker for finding you and watching your story? Should she follow you and send a message? The two of you hadn't talked, let alone had any messaging communication prior to now, even when you were in the same classes (minus that one email, of course).

Cait is overthinking when she decides to call Kate.

"CC?" Kate says, voice thick with sleep.

"Kate! I need you to do something for me," Caitlin then begins to ramble about how you were at the game and that you didn't ask to see her but you posted and she wants to see it but doesn't want to seem weird.

"Caitlin," Kate begins after Cait explains everything. "You called me, at - what time is it? Caitlin, you called me at 1am to have me view a girl's story for you?"

It is only now that Caitlin see's how this might be a little crazy but she doesn't care.

"Yes..." Caitlin responds.

"The girl you had a fat crush on in college but pretended not to," Kate says and Caitlin cuts her off.

"Woah, let's not blow this out of proportion," Caitlin says. She can almost feel Kates stare through the phone.

Kate sighs and goes to her IG. She finds you and views your story.

"It is a photo of the Gainbridge Fieldhouse, with your photo on the big screen. The one they put up for introductions," Kate says and Caitlin feels her chest swell.

"Thank you," Caitlin whispers and hangs up leaving Kate even more confused.

Caitlin doesn't sleep that night. How could she? She missed what could have been her only other opportunity to see you again. What if this was the last time? What if she missed her last chance to say how she feels? Even if she had the opportunity, would you be freaked out by her confession? The next day is hell for her.

The rest of the season she makes a point to look into the crowd - searching for familiar eyes. Just to her luck, she doesn't find what she is looking for.

She loses hope as the season comes to an end. The high of the though subsides as life goes on.

The next time you appear out of the blue is when Caitlin is scrolling through IG. Initially she scrolls past, but then freezes when her brain catches up to fingers. She scrolls back up to see a picture of you with your dog.

Caitlin immediately smiles, when she sees the smile you are wearing. She takes the opportunity to tap on your profile.

She sits up when she sees that you are following her and probably have been following her. She feels herself getting nervous as her thumb hovers over the follow button and decides she literally has nothing to lose.

Caitlin hits the follow button and then decides to add you as one of her close friends. She never really uses it for anything, but just knowing that she has you on it makes her feel special.

Time goes on and before she knows it, Caitlin is back in Iowa City on a chilly February morning. She is back with her family as her jersey is going to be retired in Carver-Hawkeye Arena, quite the honor.

She is walking around with her brothers to some of her favorite spots, stopping at the best bakery around just outside of campus. It's a little mom n' pop shop that has been family owned for 50 years. It was one of the only places she gate-kept in college because she didn't want them selling out of her favorite pastries.

As she walks in, she is caught in her tracks by the last person she would imagine in one of her favorite places.

You are sitting in a little table in the back corner with a book in your hand, eyebrows lightly furrowed as you are completely unaware of what's happening around you.

The little nonna, comes out and yells Caitlin's name before she has the time to walk over to you and say hello. Not that she knew what to say, but she was going to.

Your head whips up and you make eye contact with your favorite class partner.

A smile shines on your face causing Caitlin to smile even wider now.

Her brothers look at each other as they are forgotten in the background as Caitlin comes up to you.

"Why hello there," you say, smile never leaving your face. "What a nice familiar face to see." You put your book down and stand.

You go in for a hug and the second your arms are around her, she never wants to leave them.

"It is so good to see you," Caitlin whispers into you.

"It is good to see you too, Caity girl," you say as you pull away.

Caitlin tries to hide the disappointment in the separation. It then occurs to her, that you are standing in front of her. She didn't imagine this ever happening again, after missing you the last time the two of you were in the same room.

"You came to one of my games," Caitlin says before she can stop herself.

You laugh and nod.

"I did, I was traveling for work and the schedule aligned perfectly," you say.

"I would have said hi," she says.

"I didn't want to bug you," you say with a little shrug. You wanted to, you really wanted to.

"You could never bug me," Caitlin says softly.

The two of you just look into each other's eyes. You feel like you can really see Caitlin for the first time. You can see what you had suspected but never truly known until this moment.

You give her a soft smile and nod. A promise for next time. A promise that there would be a next time.

"Wait, what are you doing here?" Caitlin asks. From what she can remember from posts, you live in Manhattan now. You are a little ways away from home.

"Well this place has the best bear claws known to man, so I had to come snag one. Then I got caught up in this," you say lifting your book.

"I mean in Iowa," Caitlin says with a little blush. She has no idea why she is blushing but it is a reaction you seem to bring out of her whenever the two of you are together.

You knew that is what she was talking about, but it is just so easy to tease her.

"Well, I heard there was something pretty big happening and I just couldn't miss it," you say.

"You came for my jersey retirement?" Caitlin asks. She is in awe of you.

"Of course, I came for your jersey retirement," you say.

Caitlin leans in and places her head on your shoulder, trying to hide the blush that has crept up her neck into her cheeks. She is over the moon. Never in a million years would she have imagined to be important enough for you to make a trip to watch her jersey retirement.

You wrap you arm around her with a little laugh and rub her back. You let her take her time to compose herself, finding it incredibly cute at the affect you have on her even after all this time. Even after how big she is.

Nothing else in the world mattered to Caitlin in this moment, just you. Just you with your arms around her - hidden from the world.

This is what she wants - she wants this to be the norm between the two of you. Morning dates to your local bakery. Light touches. Comfortable silence.

"How long are you here for?" Caitlin asks before she can think too much.

"I leave tomorrow morning," you say, slightly disappointed.

Caitlin could take this as a sign that this was just another fluke, that the moments shared between the two of you will always be fleeting. But standing here, your hand still on her arm, she knows that she is done waiting for you. She's in. All in.

"What if it wasn't tomorrow morning?" She says, trying to be bold but her voice comes out slightly shaky.

"And what would I fill my time with if I didn't get on a plane tomorrow morning?" You say, baiting her.

Caitlin stands there, mind blank. She has thought about this moment on countless occasions but had never thought about what she would say if you said yes. She wanted to be bold but here she is, making a fool of herself. Little to her knowledge, you plan on seeing her regardless of what she says. If Caitlin wants to spend time with you, you are all hers.

"Uhhhh," Caitlin tries to find words. Her arm, where your hand is placed on her, is burning up.

You remove your hand and bring it up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

If Caitlin wasn't in love before, she is in love with you now. But she was in love with you before and now she is double in love, if that is even possible.

Maybe it is the fact that up to this point, all of it was in Cait's head. She never ran the risk and here she is, trying to do exactly that. Even when she is cringy and feels like anyone else on this planet would run the other way, you remain in front of her. You are giving her the chance she has always wanted.

Blake comes over and taps Caitlin's arm. "We need to get going," he says.

Caitlin doesn't want to leave. She doesn't want to leave you. Now that she thinks of it, she never wants to leave you again.

"Go," you say with a smile.

She nods, a silly little grin on her face as she begins to talk out, completely forgetting the pastries she walked in to get.

"Wait," she says as she runs back to you. Cait pulls out her phone, opening it for you to put your number in. You do and save it.

"Stay," she says, rushed.

"What?" you ask.

"Tomorrow morning, stay," Caitlin says. "Don't get on your flight tomorrow morning."

"Okay," you say, unsure of where this is going but you are more than open to find out.

Caitlin leaves with her brothers and can't believe what just happened.

She tries to focus on the events of that night - it really is a special moment, getting her jersey retired is huge. She gets ready and she makes her return to Carver-Hawkeye. Caitlin has her friends, family, old teammates and coaches in the building for a special night. She soaks it all in, marveling in the memories made.

When the time comes, she gives her speech and takes photos with her family. She smiles and stands proudly.

You are among the sea of people who are there to support Caitlin and all she has done. You cheer her on as you watch her surrounded by all the people she loves. In the midst of the chaos, you watch her eyes wander to the crowd - searching for something.

Cait's eyes meet yours, yet another sign to her that this is what she has waited 5 years for. Her smile widens as she sees you. Nothing could make this night better.

As the night comes to a close, Caitlin takes photos with friends and fans all around. She gets a little antsy, hoping you have waited to come see her.

You wait and watch as everyone showers Caitlin with so much love. You feel a little weird waiting around but selfishly want a photo. After what feels like forever, the crowd dies down enough to where you feel comfortable heading over to the superstar.

"Think you can spare one more photo tonight?" You ask as you come up, bumping her shoulder with yours.

"For you?" Caitlin begins, confidence oozing from her from the night. "I'd do anything."

The two of you stand together to take a photo. After a few seconds, Caitlin turns to pull you into a hug. Your arms wrap around her and you feel her face bury itself in your shoulder, then turning to hide in your neck. You laugh when you feel her breath graze your neck, tickling it.

"You are amazing," you say, pride evident in your voice.

Cait could die happy now. Hearing you say that, she never wants to let you go.

"I moved my flight," you say when she finally lets go of you.

"Good," Caitlins says.

"Good," you respond.

"Good, because we have a lot to talk about," Cait says.

You smile.

"I look forward to getting to know The Caitlin Clark," you say and she blushes.

"There isn't much to me," she says. "I am much more interested in getting to know you."

"Well, we can get to know each other with time," you say. "How does that sound, Caity girl?"

Caitlin smiles at you, heart full thinking back to her freshman self. 5 years in the making and she finally has the opportunity to get the girl.

Everything is perfect.

You are entering into the last semester in college with graduation right around the corner. You are finishing up your undergrad degree and plan to take a gap year before starting your masters. The gap year was a battle that you ultimately won. You took the side of wanting to take a gap year because of all that was going on. And by all that is going on, you mean your girlfriend deciding if she is going to declare for the draft or not.

You met Caitlin during your freshman year at Iowa. It’s a funny story. At least now it is a funny story. Freshman year was a weird one because of Covid, not many students were actually on campus and the ones that were could only be around those there for the same reason. Caitlin was on campus for basketball and stuck with the team most of the time. You, on the other hand, were only on campus because you had a job that required you there because students were onsite. You worked at the bookstore and even though Covid was happening and a majority of classes were online, students still needed books. It was pure chaos, but you didn’t mind. 

Back to how you met Cait. There was one day where everything around the sun went wrong. You were one of two people in the shop and were bombarded by requests. The last priority you had was tending to actual people walking in the store, most of the chaos was happening via email. You were running around like a mad-women and didn’t even notice the bell indicating there was someone in the store. 

“Sam, did you already package up those Bio books?” You yell to your coworker in the back. Right as you do, you trip over a stack of books on the ground causing you to go flying to the floor. You hear someone yell something along the lines of ‘oh shit’ right before you hit the ground. 

You groan in pain and just lay there. 

“Are you okay?” A girl comes up, not close enough to really check you because of Covid, but close enough to see that you aren’t bleeding.

“Just leave me here to die,” you say dramatically, not looking up to see who is standing there. “It would be better than this shitshow.” 

“Well if you die, then I wouldn’t be able to get my books,” the girl says and you finally turn over to look at the source of the voice. The first thing you notice is her hair. She has beautiful brown hair that looks so soft and shiny. 

“Your hair is shiny,” you say. You don’t remember but you must have hit your head when you fell because there is no way you actually just said that out loud. 

The girl laughs, “Thank you.” 

You are still laying on the ground when your coworker comes out saying she left them in a pile, the pile you tripped over. 

She ends up being the one to help you up since the two of you quarantined together prior to starting at the campus store. After you are up, you double check and immediately know several places that will have nice bruises show up. 

“I can help you,” Sam says to the girl. 

“It’s okay, I can wait for…” the girl says then trails off when she realizes she doesn’t know your name. Sam says your name and Caitlin repeats it. 

“I got it Sam,” you say as you limp over to the section where the onsite students' books are housed before they are sent to their dorms. That was what a majority of people opted for since it meant less contact and was deemed the ‘safer option’ when ordering online. The girl in front of you was the only person you have seen actually enter the store. 

“Name?” You ask as you try to cover up the pain you are in. 

“Do you always tell people you like their hair or am I special?” The girl asks. 

“Umm I think you forgot the part when I fell and most likely hit my head causing me to speak irrationally,” you say. 

“But you didn’t hit your head,” she says. 

“I am pretty sure I did,” you say. 

“I saw the whole thing, you didn’t hit your head,” she says and you stand there staring at her. You try to suppress the rage that is beginning to boil inside of you. What is she getting at?

“Okay, I didn’t hit my head,” you say. “It was probably the lighting, don’t consider yourself special.” You let out a little forced laugh, not knowing why the two of you were still on the topic. 

“So are you going to give me your name?” You say with a little bite to it. 

“Someone is feisty,” she responds and now this girl is officially on your nerves. 

“Do you want your books or not,” you say, proving her point. 

“I think I’ll switch to getting them delivered,” she says and your eyes twitch. 

“Dude, seriously?” All professionalism is out the window at this point. 

“Chill, I am messing with you,” she says. You are anything but chill. You take a deep breath and try again. 

“Name?” You ask again, taking the edge off your voice. 

“Caitlin,”she says and stops. She likes messing with you, if anyone were to ask her, she would say she finds it incredibly cute when you get frustrated. 

“Last name?” You ask. You should have been clear the first two times you asked. 

“Well that is pretty forward,” Cailtin says and you are done. 

You begin to walk away without saying another word. 

“Wait, wait, wait” she calls after you. “I’m sorry. It’s Clark.”

You slowly make your way back and go to look at the shelf labeled with ‘C’. Considering there are only like 10 orders in total, her first name would have been enough but you were just following the process. 

“Are you always this difficult, Clark?” You ask as you go through the process on your computer. 

“Depends,” she starts in a joking manner, then gets more serious. “It’s been different lately, ya know? With how abnormal things are, I guess I am just trying to find something that feels normal.” 

This softens you a little, you can’t knock her for that. You have been feeling the same way. 

“Well, I can tell you, falling in front of strangers is definitely not normal for me,” you say as you hand over her books. 

She laughs and you’re hooked. 

“I sure hope not, I don’t know how you are still alive if it was,” she says and you notice how even though you can’t see her smile, it shines brightly through her eyes. 

The two of you part ways. It is shortly after that Caitlin comes and bugs you again only this time she has no reason to be there except to bug you. She ended up becoming a friend - even if she annoyed you more times than not. Your annoyance only made her want to annoy you more. By the end of the school year, the two of you are closer than ever and she invites you to come home with her for a few weeks during the summer before heading home yourself. It is the time spent at her house that she confesses her feelings to you. You reciprocate them and it feels like the rest is history (aside from her bringing up how you two met to anyone and everyone that would listen - and she never fails to mention how you told her she has shiny hair). 

When senior year rolled around, the two of you knew wherever the future took you, it would be together. So when you started talking about taking a gap year after undergrad before starting your master, Caitlin was against it. You knew it was all with good intention - she didn’t want you putting your goals on hold while she was still trying to figure out where she would be. She still hadn’t made the decision to declare for the draft or not yet but deep down you knew she would. 

So when March rolls around and her team is getting ready for March Madness, you could see the conflict in her eyes every time the two of you were together. 

The two of you are in her apartment having a movie night. By the way her hands keep fidgeting with anything in their vicinity, you know she is caught in her own head and not paying attention to the movie. 

“Babe, this is your favorite movie and you haven’t quoted it once,’ you say, bringing her hands up to kiss the backs of them. 

“Mmmhmm,” she hums, not realizing her response doesn’t make sense. 

“Hey,” you say and pause the movie. “Talk to me, pretty girl.” 

“Everyone is waiting for me to make a decision and I don’t know what to do,” she says. “The media keeps commenting, my parents keep asking. I know you are waiting to figure out what to do, it is just a lot.” 

“Hey, the only person that matters is you. It is what you want to do,” you say and bring your hand to sooth her hair. 

“But it’s not,” she says and you stop her. 

“It is,” you fight back. She shuts up. 

You bring her in your arms and hold her. 

“What does Caitlin want to do?” You ask softly. 

“She feels ready,” Cailtin says after an eternity of thinking. “I have spent 4 good years here and I feel like I have done what I wanted to do.” 

“Aside from a natty,” you say, a smile peaking through. 

“That’s on the way,” she says. “But I feel like I am ready to move on to bigger and better things.”

“Then there is your answer,” you say. “And I will be right by your side wherever that is.” 

“When you are on break from school, yes,” Cait says. 

“No, all the time,” you bite back. “At least the first year. I heard that is the most difficult.” 

“You are not stopping your schooling for me,” she says. 

“That is not your decision. And my mind was made up a while ago,” you say. “I want to see what life is like outside of school, I mean we have been nonstop at it for 16 years now, I deserve a break.” 

“I don’t agree with you,” Caitlin says but buries herself deeper into you. 

“You don’t have too,” you say as you squeeze her tighter. Her actions speak louder than she is in the moment. You know she wants you by her side, there was never any doubt. So when the time came and she got drafted to Indiana, you packed up and the two of you found a place to live in Indianapolis. 

Caitlin’s rookie year was hard but you were by her side through it all and she could honestly not be more grateful for you. You were able to travel to all the games and be home with her after practices. You wouldn’t have changed any of it. 

Her second year was almost as good as the first. It was a little less hard. You had started your masters program which you were excited for and Caitlin had been nothing but supportive in you going back to school. The only thing that got a little harder was time. But even with you being busier and Caitlin having more engagements, the two of you still made each other a priority. 

It wasn’t until about a year and a half after you started school - you only have about 4 months left, did you start to notice a shift in your relationship. At first, it was miniscule and you didn’t think much of it. It was Caitlin, staying longer at practice or her forgetting to grab something at the store. Things that you didn’t think twice about. 

It isn’t until you notice you start spending more time alone than with her do you ask her if everything is okay. 

Caitlin comes home from practice one night and you stop her in the kitchen. 

“Hey babe, I missed you,” you say as she comes over to hug you. You stay in her arms and exhale. 

“How could you miss me?” She says with a smile. She did have a point in the sense that you saw her that morning, but that wasn’t what you were getting at. 

“I miss us time,” you say and the second you say it, you feel silly for even bringing it up. 

“I miss us time too,” she says as she leans her head on top of yours. You sigh in relief, the last thing you want is to be seen as clingy. Not that it has ever been an issue before.

“How about this, I have a few days off after our next game. Why don’t we get away for a day or two, just us,” Caitlin says and you nod. 

“I would love that,” you say and look up to kiss her. 

“I would also love that,” she says against your lips and brings you back into a hug. 

“Whenever you miss me, just tell me okay?” She says. “Although my hope is to notice before you have to say anything.” 

“I love you,” you say. She repeats it back and you feel secure again. 

The following few weeks are great and you feel like things are back to normal. It is after the season ends when you start to notice her distance again. 

This time it is much more noticeable and seems more intentional. When you ask her about it, she dismisses you - but she does it in a way that doesn’t have you questioning her. You know her schedule picks up in the off-season and that includes a lot of travel. The part that gets you is when she doesn’t ask for you to join. You don’t let it bug you because when you ask, she makes it sound like she doesn’t even want to go herself. 

“I mean if you don’t want to go, I’ll join and we can spend a few extra days. It would be nice to go on a little vacation - you deserve it,” you say. If you were honest, you also deserved it. You are just about to graduate and could use a few days before diving into finishing all you have to do. 

“I would rather just go and come home,” Caitlin says and you respect her choice. Maybe you should have pushed harder or tried a different angle but you know once she has her mind made up there is really no swaying it. So you drop it. 

“It is probably better that you’ll have a few quiet days to finish up your school work and then we can celebrate your graduation,” she says and you believe her logic.

“You’re right,” you say, swallowing the slight disappointment. “I can’t wait until we are on a boat in Cancun, no worries in the world.” 

Cailtin goes on her trip and you stay home and get all your work done so that when she gets home you can spend all the time you want with her. 

The only thing is, Cait doesn’t come home when you expect her to and you get a text saying that she is going to be delayed a few days. You are bummed but have no reason to think anything bad about it. You tell her to be safe. 

The first big riff that the two of you face is when she misses your graduation. You try to be understanding but getting your masters is a big deal and she had known about it for so long that when she called you telling you how sorry she was to not make it, it stung but you know she meant it. 

From there, it just kept getting worse. Caitlin became distant, then would apologize profusely and would give you attention for a little before going right back to being distant. After a few months of the back and forth, you slowly fell into your own rhythm, without her. 

There would be weeks at a time where your shared apartment didn’t feel shared. It felt like you were living alone in a city that you used to love. 

It all hurt but what hurt you the most is when Caitlin stopped noticing when you showed up. Even though she had stopped showing up, you would always be there to support her. 

Her next season started and there was one that had you questioning how much more you could take. 

You get to Gainbridge Fieldhouse with Cait and hang out before sitting where you have season tickets on the baseline. The whole game, she doesn’t look your way once, not that you need her to but she usually does - at least once. The Fever takes the win and you hang out with a few other regulars, waiting for Caitlin on the floor. 

After a little while, you notice that the crowd has thinned significantly and there was still no sight of Caitlin. You head to the tunnel where you run into Lexie. 

“Hey! I didn’t know you were still here,” Lexie says as she comes over to give you a hug. Before you can ask she continues, “I thought I saw Cait leave a while ago.” 

You try to hide as your heart falls on the floor, but you don’t do a great job. 

“Oh, yeah. I - uhh, we drove separately,” you say. It’s a lie. 

Lexie knows you are lying but doesn’t want to rattle you even more. 

“I can give you a ride home,” she says softly. The team has noticed changes for a while now. It started when Caitlin started showing up to dinners and game nights without you. They would always ask where you were but she would come up with some excuse saying you were busy and couldn’t make it. It wasn’t noticeable at first but then Lexie jumped to post something to her story one game night and noticed you had posted a story. Caitlin has said you were visiting your parents and couldn’t make it but your story was you in your apartment with the caption ‘movie night 🍿’. Lexie didn’t mention anything about it, but noticed. 

“Umm, yeah, that would actually be great,” you say. “I don’t think I should drive right now.” 

She nods and drives you to your apartment. When she pulls up and you get ready to leave she gives you a little encouragement. 

“Cait just has a lot on her mind right now,” Lexie says and you wish you knew what she was talking about. Cailtin stopped talking to you about how she was doing and kept it to small talk when the two of you had time together. 

You nod and thank her for the ride. 

When you get to the door of your apartment, you struggle to find the words you want to use when confronting Caitlin. How could she forget that you were there? You drove together, had one of the best conversations on the way there. Then she doesn’t look at you once and leaves you at the arena. How could you be so quickly forgotten? 

You take a deep breath and open the front door. 

“Cait?” You ask as you enter, there is no answer. 

You walk in and see most of the lights are off. You walk around trying to find your girl and feel yourself break when you finally find her. 

Cailtin is sound asleep in your bed. 

She fell asleep without you there. No contact, no nothing. She just came home without you and went to bed. No questioning where you were. Did she even notice you weren’t there?

The next few months you went back and forth between making yourself small and unnoticeable to trying to get her to pay attention to you. The thing was, she was never annoyed with you when you did more. It would be normal and just as you felt like things are on the up and up, she would go away for weeks at a time or do her own thing. It got to the point where you needed to prioritize yourself, even if that meant leaving the girl you love. 

It was a warm summer afternoon when it happened. You had spent weeks figuring out what you were going to do and the first step that would affect your decision is seeing if Cait would bail on your anniversary dinner. 

You hadn’t mentioned it was your anniversary - never had to. The only thing you mentioned to Caitlin was that you made dinner reservations for the two of you at her favorite restaurant. She told you she wouldn’t miss the dinner and like every other time, you believed her. She had practice that she couldn’t miss and the two of you planned on meeting at the restaurant. That wasn’t unusual. 

When you got there, you were seated and offered Caitlin’s go-to wine which you accepted but wanted to wait for her to pop open. You look at the clock and tell yourself not to panic when it’s 10-past your reservation time. You sit and enjoy the ambiance, waiting for her. 

It is about 20 minutes after that you feel deflated. You check your phone, no message or missed call and you begin to draft a text when you go to check her location instead. When you see that she is at the restaurant, you feel relief take over your body. She is probably walking in. 

You look towards the door as excitement builds, only to be crushed by the sight of Caitlin with several of her teammates heading in the opposite direction of the table that you are at. They are guided to a private booth in the back and you can feel tears welling in your eyes. 

She forgot and left you sitting there, only to come to the same restaurant with a different group of people. 

The waiter comes over and you can see in his eye, there is confusion but also sympathy. You tell him you’ll pay for the wine but will be heading out. He refuses your payment but you leave cash. 

You get yourself a hotel room that night, not wanting to be in the same space as Caitlin when she gets home. 

Over the next few days, you make one of the hardest decisions of your life.

It is quiet, you don’t have it in you to be loud. Slowly - unnoticeably you begin removing your belongings from the apartment. At first you were scared that Caitlin would notice and begin to question, but as the days passed you were reminded how forgettable you had become to her. 

It’s a Tuesday when you're at the apartment to retrieve your final things. You do one last sweep over the space, thinking about all the great memories that Caitlin and you had made there - muted by the past few months. 

One last deep breath as you put your keys into the bowl on the entry table. 

A goodbye you never thought you would have to make and it isn’t even to her face. 

You head to the apartment you found, it is much smaller and is month-to-month as you figure out where you belong. You really don’t know how long you could stay in Indianapolis - really the state of Indiana. But that is a task for you to figure out after you allow yourself to waste away for as long as you need. 

Caitlin feels like she is just walking though life in a haze right now, not really feeling much, just trying to make it to the next day. She has found that spending time with the team has been the best help and has her feeling like herself, even if it is only for a few hours. She knows she has been neglecting you but you are always there and she knows you always will be even while she is in this funk. 

She gets home and drops her keys off at the entry table as she automatically goes to the bedroom and gets ready for bed. Cait feels like there is something off but she can’t pinpoint it - she shakes it thinking it is just a part of her funk. She gets in bed and it is slightly colder than it has been. She closes her eyes and tries to sleep but there is this nagging feeling in her that has her sitting up. 

The spot next to her is perfectly made, a space she is so used to you occupying. Her eyebrows furrow. She doesn’t remember you saying anything about not being home. 

Cait grabs her phone and scrolls to your last message to see if she has missed a text you sent about where you would be and it isn’t until it takes her a minute to actually find your name in her messages that she realizes she hasn’t talked to you in a while. 

When Cait finally finds your name, she opens it only to realize the last message you sent was over two weeks ago. It was a reminder that the two of you had dinner plans and that you would meet her there knowing she had practice. 

Dinner? She didn’t go to dinner with you…

She opens her calendar app and taps on the event that clearly says ‘Dinner Date 🤍’. Her heart drops when she also sees the ‘7 year anniversary’ headlining that date. Caitlin mutters a string of curses as it comes back to her. 

“I made us dinner reservations at your favorite place this Thursday,” you say as you make something for lunch. “I put it in your calendar.” 

“Why would you do that? You know I won’t forget,” Caitlin says - she hasn’t looked at you once, eyes trained on her phone. 

You don’t say anything because you have a gut wrenching feeling that she will, which has led you to setting up precautions so she won’t. 

“It’s at 6,” you say. 

“I have practice until 5,” she says. 

“We can meet there,” you say, disappointment shown on your face but not heard in your voice. 

That was the end of the conversation, Cait didn’t say anything to you after that. 

Caitlin is now standing in her bedroom, pacing a little. She was worried that something had happened to you, you are always home. 

But the more that she thinks about it, it has been quieter in the apartment. Caitlin enjoyed it and didn’t question it until now, when she can no longer remember the last time she has actually seen you. 

She has been so caught up in her head and she has never had to worry about you. Now she is worried. 

She goes to call you. It goes straight to voicemail. 

When Caitlin thinks to go check your location, you no longer show up. 

At this point, Caitlin doesn’t actually know what to do. She has been so removed from you recently that she doesn’t even know who to call to see if they knew where you are. 

She beelines to the hallway closet that houses both of your luggage, thinking maybe you went on a trip she forgot about and you didn’t have service or wifi. When she swings the door open she notices it is half empty.

The jackets you had hanging in there are no longer there. 

Caitlin swallows the lump in her throat as she runs to the closet in the bedroom. She flicks the light on and she feels all the air leave her lungs. 

It is half empty, but not in the traditional sense. Yes, all your clothes were gone, but you had moved her stuff around to make it look like there wasn’t that much of a change. Why would your stuff be gone? 

She begins searching every area of the apartment and after 20 minutes of finding the same thing, she has to sit with the fact that you left. She can’t wrap her head around it because you never said anything. There was no fight, no arguments. Everything was normal. 

On the verge of a full on panic attack, she calls the first person she can think of and before she knows it, Lexie is there and bringing Cailtin into her arms. 

“Breathe CC,” Lexie says as Caitlin allows the panic to consume her. 

“Gone,” is all Cait can get out. 

Lexie stands here holding her friend and teammate as Cailtin breaks down. 

Once she has Caitlin calm, she guides her to her room and gets Cailtin to lay in bed. She promises she will be there when Caitlin wakes up. 

Caitlin eventually falls asleep but Lexie doesn’t. She gets up and looks around - coming to the same conclusion that Cailtin did a few hours ago. Her heart sank for the girl but she would be lying if she said she knew you were in the wrong here. 

Lexie’s mind goes back to that one time she drove you home after Caitlin left you at the arena. Lex remembers slyly bringing it up to Cait at practice the next day where Cait just said it was no big deal and that it was all worked out. And when Lexie mentioned to have Cait invite you to her engagement party but Cait came up with some excuse of how you were busy without even asking you. Lexie knew you would be there in a heartbeat if you knew about it. 

The next morning, Caitlin wakes up and goes around the apartment thinking the night before was one big nightmare. It was a nightmare but she is very much awake. 

Where did it go wrong? Where did she go wrong?

Caitlin knew you would always be there, she doesn’t remember anything else. You were her normal, you were her home. 

But she has to think hard, really hard, back to the last time she can remember spending time with you and her heart feels like it is on fire when she can’t remember. All she can remember is spending time with the team and then when she got home, she would usually just head to bed.  

Cait doesn’t know what to do, has no idea how to find you, has no idea if you want her to find you because if she were in your shoes, she would never want to see herself again. But Caitlin doesn’t know how to do life without you, she doesn’t know how to survive without you. The hard truth that just hits her like another wave is that you have been surviving without her because she didn’t give you a choice.

Cailtin sinks into the truth that you have had to learn to live without her for who knows how long while she just kept on going with her life. And now that she has to do it, she doesn’t know if she can. 

Everything was perfect. Until it wasn't and there is nothing Caitlin can do about it.

It is a beautiful Tuesday evening in downtown Indianapolis. You and a few of your coworkers turned friends are heading to Gainbridge Fieldhouse for your first ever Indiana Fever game. 

You have always been into sports but have always just watched the men’s teams. With the rise of the W, you started watching and have loved it. 

A main part of that has to do with a certain Iowa girl becoming a pro and you would be lying if you said she wasn’t a big part of you watching women’s sports now. 

With your work schedule - you weren’t able to go to any home games the first year of Caitlin Clark being in Indiana, but when your annual review comes up and you are told you have exceeded every expectation and metric your supervisor awards you with tickets to see your first WNBA game. It would be a surprise but with how much you talk about sports, it’s not. You were given a few courtside tickets which could not have been better. 

When you guys get to Gainbridge, you get to enter through a separate entrance and are taken on a tour of the arena prior to being shown your seats. One neat part that you weren’t expecting is getting to watch the players warm up. 

You got a front row view of Caitlin Clark going through her warm up routine and it is flawless. You have watched a lot of basketball and watching her is like watching perfection. You sit there as your friends talk but you keep your eyes trained on the athlete. Her form is beautiful. Her release looks effortless. You could sit and watch her forever. 

It is after they finish their warm ups when a few of the team comes over to sign autographs. You don’t know why but you feel a nervousness build in you as Caitlin walks over, a big smile on her face. 

“Hey,” she says and your friends slightly freak out. You on the other hand, are stiff as a board. 

Cailtin signs autographs and makes small talk and you can’t get yourself to say a word. She is absolutely stunning. And you, you are making a fool of yourself. 

“Do you want me to sign anything for you?” Cait says , looking right into your eyes. 

You look into her eyes and melt. Luckily, you are wearing her jersey that you got from the team store before heading to your seats. You turn around and move your hair out of the way for her to sign the back. 

Caitlin lets out a little laugh and signs the back of your jersey. 

Before you know it, she politely excuses herself and heads back to get ready for the game. 

As you sit down, your friends just stare at you. 

“You okay there?” One your friends asks. 

“I think I just blacked out,” you say, blinking a few times. They all laugh at you and begin to make fun of how mesmerized you were by the star athlete. 

You decide to drown your embarrassment in some nachos. You finish the nachos before the team reappears for their final shootaround before the game. 

The game is about to begin and you watch the theatrics of the teams calling out the starting line ups. Your eyes are trained on Caitlin as she gets set to take the floor. 

The beginning of the game is a whirlwind as you watch the Fever fight back from a 12 point deficit in the early minutes of the game. Once they started playing in rhythm, they absolutely dominated. They are up 54-46 going into the half. 

By the time the second half starts, you know you are going to be a fan for life. 

As you are watching, Caitlin brings the ball up the court in transition. She fakes going left then drives up the right side to the rim. She knocks down the layup but is knocked while she is up, drawing the foul. When she comes down, she falls to the floor, head and neck hitting the stanchion. 

There are audible gasps as she goes down. 

The second you see it, you know there is something wrong. Her teammates begin to panic as they are yelling at the athletic training team to come on the floor but they are too slow and you are closer. 

Before you know it, you are up and moving. Security tries to stop you but your friends rush to explain you do this for a living. The next moment, you are by her side. You first check for her pulse - it’s faint but present. You then roll her over to keep her airway clear and to ensure nothing else happens. YOu are careful with her head and neck, seeing as it was hit when she went down. Your initial fear is that there would be an injury to her spine, but as you are checking her vertebrae, her eyes begin to flicker open. 

“Hey,” you say softly. You introduce yourself and tell her not to make any sudden moves. “You went down pretty hard there, your team is coming but can you do a few things for me real quick?” 

She blinks, then slowly gives a little nod. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you. I am going to ask you a few questions. Tell me if anything I am asking hurts, okay?” You say as you guide her back. 

“What is your name?” You ask. 

“Caitlin,” she says.

“That’s good, Cailtin. Can you tell me where you are?” You ask as you have her follow your finger with her eyes. She checks out there. 

You ask as you feel around her neck and she winces. “I’m sorry,” you say as you lighten the pressure. You don’t feel anything alarming and think she is just sore, maybe bruised. 

“I’m at Gainbridge,” she says, her eyes never leaving yours. Her blinking is a little slowed but that is not a concern at this moment. As long as that returns to normal, you wound;t worry about it. 

“Yes, you are. Great job,” you say. At this point, the athletic training team is by her side and asking her all kinds of questions about what hurts and where. People are pushing past you and working their way into her, doing what they believe to be best for her. 

When you are backing away, you still watch over her. When someone comes and crouches in front of you, blocking her view of you - Cait tries to sit up, calling your name. Everyone’s head turns to you. One of the trainers grabs your arms and pulls you back into the mess of people. 

Caitlin lays back as her eyes settle themselves on you. She doesn’t say anything, even when they ask her questions, just lays there looking at you. Considering how you acted when she came up to give autographs, you should be nervous and tight but this is your element. Not that you want her to be hurt in any way shape or form, but your instinct takes over and a familiar sense of calm washes over you just like it does when you are in the field. 

When you notice she is not responding, you jump back. 

“Hey Caitlin,” you say and her lips curve up slightly. “We want to get you off the court, okay? Can you try to sit up for me?” You ask as the team of trainers has their hands all around supporting her. 

She begins to sit up and your hands instinctively go to support her head, that being a big place of impact. You watch as she struggles a little and winces. Once she is up to a sitting position you give her a little praise. 

“Great job,” you say, hand still on the back of her head. “What hurts?” You ask. 

She has to think for a moment, then responds. “My neck and head.” She moves her head back and forth a little and then winces again when her hand comes to the ground and she tries to put weight on it. 

“And my left wrist,” she says with her eyebrows furrowed. 

“Okay, how do your legs feel?” You ask and bring your free hand to her knee and thigh, squeezing with enough pressure to not be ticklish. 

“Fine,” she stutters. Caitlin should be embarrassed at how much she likes your hands on her but she is still too discombobulated to be fully aware. 

“Great,” you say with a smile, keeping your hand on her thigh as the team waves over a wheelchair. 

“Think you can stand for me, superstar?” You ask and her head does the slightest nod. You know she could go out in a wheelchair but you also know, she would rather walk off the court. She reaches up and you stand over her. Her arms come over your shoulders and you grab her waist to pull her up. There is a trainer helping her from behind. 

Once Caitlin is standing You come to her side, her arm still around your shoulder. She has some height on you but it makes her leaning into you easier. She waves off the wheelchair as she takes small steps. 

The crowd stands and cheers for her as you help her down the tunnel and to where you imagine the training room is. Once you get her out of the crowd’s eye, you speak. 

“You can take a seat,” you say softly. The reason you knew she didn’t want it at first was to show weakness. You are the same way, but now that she is out of the public’s eye, you offer her a space where she doesn’t have to be. 

“Ya, okay,” she says and you wave over the wheelchair. You help her take a seat and walk right by her until you are in the training room. 

At this point, the training team has taken over and you are sort of just standing there awkwardly but you don’t want to leave yet. Not until you know for sure she is okay. 

They decide to take her to go get a CT and MRI just to be safe and you know you have no need to go. So you decide, even if you don’t want to, that it is time to head back to your friends. You sneak out the back, unnoticed and walk back. 

You are distracted the rest of the game, thinking about how Caitlin is and what the outcome of her scans could show. You are pretty confident she has a concussion and will be sore for the following days. You hope they check her spine and make sure there isn’t any discomfort there. Maybe you should go back and let them know to check? No, they got her. 

The next few days, you can’t stop thinking about how Cailtin is doing. You have also learned that every social media platform you are on has blown up with clips of you running to help Caitlin. Everyone at work jokes about it and you have different reporters and media members reaching out to see if you will do an interview. You don’t. 

The only thing you keep an eye out on social media for is any update from the Fever on how Caitlin is. They initially announced that Cait would be put on concussion protocol and would be out a minimum 2 weeks due to a very minor strain in her lower back. After hearing that, you think she will be out closer to 4 weeks but you know they are trying to keep the fans happy and hearing 2 weeks sounds a lot better than 4, even if they extend it. 

About a week passes and as you check in for work at your station, you are called in to your supervisor’s office. 

“You wanted to see me sir?” You say as you enter his office. You are taken back when you see Caitlin standing there. 

“Hi,” you say, going back to how you reacted the first time you met Cailtin. All cool, slipping out the door with your supervisor. 

“Hey,” she says. “I wanted to come and say thank you.” 

You nod. No words really finding their way to your mouth. 

Caitlin’s hand comes to rub the back of her neck then comes down and she shoves it into her pocket. Both of you are standing there like two of the world’s most awkward middle schoolers. 

“How are you doing?” You ask, finally breaking the silence. 

“Sore still but my head is doing a lot better,” she says. You nod. 

“That’s good,” you say. Why can’t you just be normal?

“I’m sorry the media has been crazy,” she says with a nervous laugh. 

You shrug with a smile. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“They are really out here trying to find you,” she says with a little laugh. “Took me a week to find you.” 

You give her a look - she has been looking for you?

“How’d you find me?” You ask, not teasing but genuinely curious. 

“Well, let’s just say it took a handful of people calling different hospitals and stations around the area,” Cait says with a little blush. 

It is in that moment that you realize you might not be the only one harboring feelings, even if it is a little crush. 

“Well you found me,” you say, you are trying to be more confident but that is kind of hard when Cailtin Clark is standing in front of you. 

“I did,” she says. “And I am glad I did.”

“So you found me and you did what you came to do,” you say. “Is that all?” You hope it isn’t but you don’t want to put your heart on the line when you are no one and she is, well, she is her. 

You can see you have caught her off-guard with your comment and question. The gears in her mind are working overtime trying to find what else to say. 

“Yes,” she starts but quickly changes her mind. “No.” 

Her nervousness is enough to know neither of you are going to get anywhere at this pace. 

“Want a tour of the station?” You ask, hoping walking around will help with your lack of conversation. 

“Ya, ya. I would really like that,” she says and you lead her out of the office. 

You show her around and she follows. It is almost eerily quiet in the station and you have a feeling it is because your supervisor pulled everyone to not bombard Caitlin. You have to thank him later. 

“Thank you for coming to say thank you,” you say. “I have been thinking about you and hoping you have been okay since the accident.”

“You were worried about me?” She asks with a cute little smile. 

“I was,” you say sincerely. “You went down hard, I reacted before I could think. Seeing you go down scared me.” You are now facing her and her eyes are on you. It looks like she is trying to see through you but you’ll learn later that is her thinking face. 

“I’m sorry I scared you,” she says in all seriousness. She reminds you of a child and you think it is the cutest thing. 

“Caitlin, I know you didn’t mean to,” a smile on your face. 

“I like when you say my name,” she says and you can see in her eyes, she didn’t mean to say that out loud. 

“Caitlin,” you say it again, slightly slower. A blush creeps up her cheeks. 

“I didn’t just come here to say thank you. I also came because I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I don’t remember much, but I remember you. I remember your face and you saying my name. I didn’t want to look anywhere but you and then you were gone. I almost thought you were a dream until I saw clips circulating. And I had to find you.” Caitlin lets out. A confession. The truth. Her truth. 

Caitlin took the first step. Well technically it’s her second step, her first was showing up in the first place. Seeing her making the effort, you can do it too. 

“Thank you for finding me,” you say. “Because I have been wanting to reach out and have no idea how to but seeing you here now, thank you.” 

You want to step forward and crawl into Caitlin’s arms. What would be the harm? 

Taking a small step forward, hand coming up to pull at the pocket of her hoodie. She lets you pull her in and your arms snake around her torso. Her arms wrap around your shoulder and her head comes to rest on yours. Both of you sigh at the same time. 

You two stay like that for a moment. 

When you finally pull away, it’s as if neither of you wants to be the first to let go. 

“When can I see you again?” You ask. 

“Whenever you want,” she says and means it. 

“This weekend?” You ask, hopeful. 

“That sounds amazing,” Caitlin says with a smile. 

Caitlin Clark is a needy girl. 

She would never say that if anyone asked but she has been since she was a little girl. 

Always needing a hug or someone to show up. It really wasn’t any sort of issue until she started getting older and she noticed it coming out in different ways than it did when she was a kid.

One of CC’s main love languages is touch - she feels like she always needs to have some sort of skin to skin contact. Another is quality time. 

When the two of you started dating, you noticed how much of a pull Cailtin’s love languages had on the start of your relationship. It was a constant battle to have any sort of personal space with her around and it took you a little while to adjust. Once you did, you had no problem with the shadow that Cait had become anywhere you went. 

You wouldn’t have to think twice when you felt someone grab your hand or hook their pinky with yours. Or when you felt someone grab your forearm with little tappy fingers. Or when you would feel a head lean on the back of your shoulder. Caitlin’s touch had become second nature so much so that it felt like an extension of you. 

Not once would you push her away or tell her to stop because you knew how much she needed your touch. You have grown to love it, almost as much as you love her. 

It is the weekend of All-Star break. You and Cait, as well as a few others from your team were selected to be a part of the weekend. Caitlin was selected as a captain for one of the teams, going against Paige Bueckers team - a great matchup in your opinion. Lexie was selected for the Starry 3 point contest and Aliyah for the Kia skills challenge. You knew it was going to be a fun weekend when the teams were announced and you were placed on Paige’s team for the All-Star game. 

“I’m not going to see you all weekend,” Caitlin complains as the two of you are packing. 

“What do you mean you’re not going to see me?” You say with a laugh. “We are going to the same place.”

“They have us in separate rooms,” Caitlin says as she falls on the bed in front of you - right on the clothes you are trying to pack. 

“Since when has that stopped you from coming to mine?” You ask as you playfully put a jacket over her. 

She struggles to remove it from herself (not that you were making it easy). 

“Let me out!” She screams and you laugh. 

You move the jacket and she stops thrashing her arms. You lean down and kiss her forehead.

“Babe, we are going to be together all weekend, we will have plenty of time together,” you say as you look down at her. 

“We aren’t even on the same team, so we won’t practice together,” she says as she looks up at you. One of her arms comes arounds your waist as she brings her face to your stomach. 

“We will have plenty of time together, don’t you worry,” you say.The hairs on your arms rise when you feel her breath against your skin. “I’m surprised you aren’t sick of me yet.” 

Caitlin lets out a chuckle. 

“Never,” she says as you run your fingers through her hair. 

“We have the welcome dinner on Thursday night, then we will watch Lex and AB on Friday night and then before you know it, I’ll be beating you in the All-Star game,” you say, reassuring your girl. 

“You mean I’ll be beating you in the All-Star game,” Cait says and you step back from her. She misses your touch immediately. Her arm comes out to reach for you but you stand just far enough to where she can’t.

“You don’t stand a chance,” you tease her. You watch as she tries her hardest to reach for you without falling off the bed. She is quite cute. 

“Babe, you cannot seriously think you are going to beat me not with Azzi and Kiki, you stand no chance,” she says with a little puff - she is really trying to get you to come back to her. It makes you want to snap a picture. 

“Ya right, Azzi may be Paige’s weak spot but there is no way she is going to let her win. And Dom will be dunking on Kiki all day, but it is cute to think you stand a chance,” you say, caving and grabbing her hand. You step close enough to kiss it. The second you feel her body relax, you flip her over on the bed to get off the clothes you still need to pack. 

“Just you wait,” Caitlin says. She doesn’t care that you just flipped her over or that you think you will beat her. All she cares about is getting a weekend with you in Dallas. It is not a vacation, but it is nice to have something fun and low intensity on the horizon. Cait also loves competing against you - she doesn’t say it often but it is one her favorite things. She knows she is competitive, there is nothing that will take that away from her but when it comes to competing with you? It takes her to a whole other level. She has finally met her match - someone who won’t back down and mirrors her intensity. 

Before you know it, the two of you are in Dallas. You check into your rooms which are luckily on the same floor but on complete opposite ends of the hall. The two of you part, against Caitlin’s will. You get ready for the welcome party for the players and head out, opting to wait for Caitlin by the elevator. 

On your way, you run into Azzi. 

“Hi,” she says with a bright smile. “Long time,no see.” 

“A whole week,” you say with a laugh. Your two teams played a week ago, Fever taking the win. 

Paige appears and wraps her arm around Azzi’s shoulder. 

“Look who it is,” Paige says with a smile. “My team's secret weapon.” 

“Hey!” Azzi says pushing at Paige to get her off her. 

“I’d like to think I hold that much weight,” you joke. 

“Any weakness to CC is a strength to me, especially this weekend. We will be winning,” Paige says with a confidence only she can carry - it’s always so inviting. 

“Oh I don’t plan on losing,” you say, causing Azzi to roll her eyes at the both of you. 

“Are you coming down?” Azzi asks. 

“I was going to wait for Cait,” you say as the elevator dings and the doors open. “But she’ll find me.” You enter the elevator and head down with the two girls. 

You find some familiar faces and before you know it, the night is almost over and Caitlin still hasn't made her way to you. You decide to walk around and try to find her, feeling bad about leaving her then not connecting at the event. 

She is not hard to find as she has two bottles of prosecco in her hands waving them around. If she wanted your attention, she got it. 

“Caity babe, why do you have two bottles?” You ask, setting your drink down and coming to take them from her hands. She whips around and tries to run from you, but she doesn’t get far considering the state she is in. Just to her luck, she bumps into Aliyah who takes the bottles and spins her around. 

“You have been complaining all night about how your girl left you and you run the second she finds you?” Aliyah says in a fake annoyed tone. 

“Complaining, Cait? Seriously?” You say as you grab her shoulders and begin to lead her out. “I was waiting for you to come find me and you never did.”

“I did,”she says with a little hiccup. “You were talking to Azzzzzzzzzzzzzi.” Hiccup. 

“Then why didn’t you come over?” You ask. You are beyond grateful the welcome party was in walking distance to the hotel. 

“You didn’t want me to,” Caitlin says with a little pout. 

“You are crazy,” you say. 

“Crazy for you,” she says with a giggle. 

You get her through the lobby of the hotel and up to your floor. Once you are at her door, you fish the key out from her pocket, which takes you a minute due to Caitlin doing everything in her drunk power to stop you. You let the two of you in and get her on her bed. 

“Stay with me?’ She asks just above a whisper. 

“Of course, CC,” you say as you get both of you into something sleep worthy. You get in bed and she curls up next to you, taking a deep inhale of your scent. 

“Mmmm,” she exhales. 

The next day is packed to the brim with things, starting with team practices which has you and Cait separated for the whole first half of the day. The second half of the day consists of some light media before the first night of the event. 

When you walk into the media room, Caitlin is sitting answering a few final questions. She instantly lights up when she sees you, standing and gesturing for you to join on the platform she is on. You shake your head no but heads have already turned your way. 

Caitlin sits back down like a child. 

“Last question Caitlin, what does Paige’s team need to do to contain you in tomorrow's game?” One of the reporters asks. 

“They can have that one,” Caitlin says as she points at you, heads whipping around to you again. “Guard me and they might stand a chance. 

You roll your eyes, waving her off. 

As you are heading up to the stage, she is coming down. SHe goes in for a hug but you swerve and push her into hugging Kate Martin who is doing media with you. You can hear Caitlin protest but you are already taking your seat. 

You do feel a little bad about dodging her, especially since the two of you really didn’t have any time together yet but she made the jab (not really a jab considering you are one of the people who knows her game the best) about you guarding her and wanted her to sweat a little. 

The night flies by after that - the two of you do end up going to the Friday night events together - sitting next to a few other people who are a part of the whole weekend. It is a great time to connect with other players in a not-so-competitive space and you really soak it all in. Soaking it all in does mean not paying Caitlin the attention she wants or feels like she deserves. 

Next thing you know, teams are being announced for the All-Star game. 

The game begins and it is a mixture of fun and competition. Caitlin is throwing up logo-3’s which you also hit one of your own. Paige is guarding Azzi like her life depends on it and Azzi is of course showing she has a few tricks up her sleeve that the blonde doesn’t know. The crowd goes crazy when Dom dunks it for the first time and Kate is making full court passes. It is everything the All-Star game should be. 

Everyone is coming back from halftime when Caitlin gets antsy. She loves guarding you and playing against you but the touches are faint and she wants more. So she does the one thing that she knows will get you over to her. 

A foul is called on the floor and just because we can, it gets challenged. Caitlin uses the opportunity to do what she does best and make a show out of the challenge call. HEr hands go up and she begins mocking the all and your team. You run over to her, giving her a little bump telling her to chill. 

“Cailtin, this isn’t a real game, come on,” you say as you pat her back. 

“You’re right,” she says, diffusing and you give her a little nod. She is fine for a second, then her hands go back up in the air when the challenge is successful. 

“Hey, chill CC,” you say as you bring your hands up to hers and intertwine your fingers. She has you exactly where she wants you as she puts her head down on your shoulder. You feel her inhale causing you to chuckle - that is her way of regulating herself with you. 

“Were you causing a scene to get me over here?” You ask her, allowing her to do what she needs. She kisses the base of your neck lightly.

“Maybe,” she says and you bring her into a hug. 

“You, my girl, are one silly goose,” you say, kissing her temple. 

“I’m sorry we haven’t had the time that I thought we were going to here, but I’ll make it up to you,” you say as you feel Caitlin squeeze you. 

“Okay,” she breathes out, not letting you go. The two of you stand hugging even when the game resumes. You only let go when she does and finish the game.

Caitlin is a child.

She's a child.

You have seen it.

Those around her have seen it...and the world has seen it.

She has this energy that is contagious to those around her. An energy that can, at times, be referred to as a toddler with a mad sugar rush.

On this particular day, you notice it starts before the two of you leave her apartment.

"Cait, stop moving," you say as you try to grab a piece of her wavy hair to straighten. Caitlin is currently sitting in front of you. adjusting from sitting on her butt to sitting on her knees.

"You are taking foreverrrr," she says and you roll your eyes when you hear her be dramatic when stretching out the last word.

"Babe, you are the one who asked," you say. "Begged me to do it," you hand comes to the top of her head to keep it from moving.

Caitlin wiggles her head out of your hand and you sigh.

"I give up, you finish," you say and she immediately adjusts herself and sits still as a rock.

"I'll sit still," she says with promise in her voice. "I won't move a muscle."

You shake your head with a smile on your face as you finish straightening her hair. When you are done, you give her shoulder a little tap and she springs up from the ground. You watch as she does a little jog to her closet to put on her preselected tunnel fit for tonight's game.

The next time you see her energy is when the team is on the court doing their pre-game stretches. You are laying on the court, leg stretched across your body as you pull your upper body in the opposite direction.

Caitlin comes running up to you, kicking at your foot with her hands behind her back. You choose to ignore her and swing your body around to stretch the other side.

Cait stands and begins to tap your foot with hers.

"Can I help you with something?" You say, looking up at your girl.

She just shrugs and moves to stand over you when you straighten out, finishing your stretch.

You bring your hands up to come and stroke her calves. She takes her bottom lip in between her teeth and you smile up at her.

Before you know it, she is jumping away from you and running away like a little kid. Running in unorganized circles. You find yourself chucking at yourself as you stand up.

"She is on one today," Lexie says as comes up and begins doing some of her own stretches.

"That she is," you say as she runs back around to where you are standing and she pulls the hood up on your sweatshirt over your head.

"Cait!" You yell at her but by the time you put your hood down she is already halfway across the court. You cave and begin to chase her which only makes her run even faster.

She lets out a little squeal and you know there is no use in running after her. You slow to a stop and head to one of the trainers and they guide you in another stretch. While you are just about wrapped up, you see Caitlin in the corner of your eye sneaking over to you with a towel in her hands. You know what she is about to do and you turn even further away from her, giving her the impression she is in the clear.

Right as she is about to cover you with her towel, you turn around causing her to squeal and flee. She is fast, but in this moment you are faster. You quickly wrap your arms around her waist and pick her up, swinging her around.

"Put me down!" Caitlin yells as she tries kicking around a little. when you don't let her go, she changes her tactics and becomes dead weight. You chuckle at her antics and kiss the back of her shoulder before setting her down and letting her go.

The second her feet hit the floor, she is running away from you, checking over her back to make sure she is finally free from you. She slows her pace and begins to kick her feet out like she just learned how to walk.

You watch your girl and can't help but smile at her. She doesn't get like this too often but you know when she does, she is her happiest.

You go through the rest of your pre-game routine unscathed by any more of Caitlin's shenanigans.

Just as the game is about to start, you walk over to her and put your hands up, holding them out in front of you - palms up, waist high. She puts her hands on yours and the two of you take a deep breath.

"Ready?" You ask, like you always do.

"Freddy," Caitlin says back to you.

The start of the game is one of the best starts your team has had all season. You go 4-4 in the first quarter with 2 rebounds and 3 assists, no turnovers. The Fever have a 12 point lead going in to the second.

The second quarter is almost as perfect as the first, you are now 6-7 with 4 rebounds and 5 assists. Caitlin went perfect from the floor in the second but they decided they wanted you to do the halftime interview.

You walk up to the interviewer with a giant smile on your face.

"What a start to the game!" They say. "What has you and the team so fired up?"

"I think we are firing on all cylinders. The chemistry this group has is unmatched, it's special. We have an understanding of each other that I think has translated very well to the floor," you say with a smile on your face. You use the towel in your hand to wipe the sweat that is falling from your forehead.

"You went perfect from the floor in the first quarter and Caitlin in the second," the reporter says. "You two are the first backcourt duo to each have a perfect quarter in a half. How does that make you feel?"

"That is an interesting stat," you say with a chuckle. "I think it is really cool. Caitlin is an amazing player, as all of you know, so it is cool to be able to perform at her level."

Right as the reporter is going to ask their last question, you catch something in the corner of your eye. You aren't as fast as you were before and have to react when Caitlin comes up and picks you up from behind, spinning you before putting you back down and sprinting away.

The interviewer chuckles and you just shake your head with a smile. Caitlin then begins running round behind where you are interviewing, distracting everyone around you.

"I am so sorry," you tell the interviewer. They shake their head, telling you not to apologize.

The interviewer thanks you for your time and lets you go, causing the energetic Caitlin to follow you.

Once you are in the tunnel, Caitlin's arms come to wrap around your shoulder from behind.

"You, little miss, are everywhere. Causing all sorts of distractions," you say as your hands come to rest on her arms.

"Good distractions?" Caitlin asks.

"Distracting distractions," you say, as you slow down before entering the locker room. You turn to face her and place a hand on the side of the neck. Thumb rubbing her jawline.

She looks down at your lips, not even trying to hide it.

"I am not the distraction babe," she says and you find yourself leaning in to her. Before your lips meet hers, you feel her forehead on yours then feel nothing at all.

Your eyes open and you see Caitlin running into the locker room.

At the end of halftime, your team is on the floor putting up some final shots before the second half. You see Caitlin putting up her shots and going to get the rebound. You have never seen her with this much energy.

"She hasn't stopped," you say and AB shakes her head.

"Girl has more energy than the damn sun," AB says.

"Zoomies," you say and Caitlin's head whips your way. You curse under your breath. You have been trying to avoid saying the word, knowing it awakens something else in her.

Caitlin runs in between you and AB while whispering 'zoom, zoom'. You shake your head and rub your face and AB lets out a hearty laugh. She keeps running around, repeating those words.

"I am so sorry," you murmur, knowing she is not going to stop until she is completely wiped out.

Coach White calls the team to huddle and Caitlin is the last one over, draping her arms around Lexie and Dantas. You are glad she is not near you.

The rest of the game is almost as good as the first half and you guys pull out the win.

Once the day is over and you are finally headed home with your girl, you see the tiredness in her eyes. You opt to drive the two of you.

When you pull up to your apartment and turn the car over, you look to see Caitlin is asleep in the passenger seat. You grab your phone and snap a quick pick. You grab your stuff from the back seat then make your way over to her door. Opening up Cait's door you admire her for another second before lightly shaking her arm.

Cait begins to stir but goes to push your arm away, wanting to sleep longer.

"Baby, we are home," you say as you go to unbuckle her seatbelt. "Come on, let's get you in bed."

"Mmm, 'm tired," she mumbles.

"Hmmm, I wonder why," you say, teasing her. "Someone decided to get the zoomies today, silly goose."

Caitlin leans into you as you help her out of the car.

"Had so much energy," she says, sleep thick in her voice.

"You had a lot of energy, looks like you used it all," you say as you get both of you into your place.

"My body was on fire today," Cait says, eyes closed allowing you to guide her completely. "On fire for you."

You chuckle and can't help but feel the blush creep up your neck.

"Let's get you to sleep, shall we?" You say as you walk Caitlin into your room. You are grateful the two of you showered at the facility.

"Only if it's with you," she says as she collapses in bed.

You put your things down and grab Caitlin closes to change into. You change and help her get ready and into bed. Once you climb into your side, you feel Cait shift over and curl up into your side. Her breath steady on your neck.

"Love you," she whispers and kisses your neck.

"I love you more," you say as you pull her closer into you and let sleep take over.

A few weeks pass and things somehow become bearable.

The team has been traveling and you have felt more peace walking into work (mostly because you know you won't be running into Caitlin but you like to tell yourself it is due to you turning a new leaf).

The real test will be when the team is back in the gym and you have to work with Caitlin again.

It is a Tuesday morning and you make it into the film room a little earlier than you planned but decide to capitalize on it. You pull up some film from the previous game.

You don't mean to, but you find yourself focusing on Caitlin. You watch as she completely breaks down the opposing defense. Every time she has the ball walking up the court, you can see it in her eyes. She has the gift of reading the defense before it shows its hand. You watched her do the same thing in college.

When you don't think she has time to think, she is already ten steps ahead and is making a move by either getting to the cup or drawing a foul. You watched the game live, but watching it again and seeing what she is seeing in the moment helps you understand her even more.

You are too engrossed in the tape to notice someone has joined you in the film room.

Caitlin has quietly made her way in to watch you watch her on film. She watches the way your eyes never leave her movements on the court, pausing the film every so often to jot down a note. A note she will probably never hear from you directly but will hear through Keith or some other trainer during practice.

When you are done, you cut the film and just sit there for a moment, thinking you had some time alone before players started rolling in.

"Why don't you come to away games?" Caitlin asks, scaring the shit out of you.

You jump up to a standing position, holding your clipboard like a weapon and are about to have to fight to survive.

"Why are you going around scaring people?" You ask, short of breath and slightly relieved to know you aren't dying today.

Caitlin knows how easily you jump scare - it is one of the many things she knows about you, even after all this time.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she says, hands up in surrender. She leans forward in her seat and her hands come down into her lap.

"You never do," you mutter just above a whisper, more to yourself than to her.

"Why don't you come to away games?" Caitlin asks again, her eyes never leaving you.

"There is no need for me to be at away games," you say and it's the truth. It doesn't matter if you are wanted there or not, Caitlin wants you there - not that she is going to say that.

The work you do as director is not game day work, it is all the work leading up to game days. You know this and Caitlin knows this. You have your staff at all games to work with the players then they come back and you all debrief. It's what makes sense.

Caitlin wants to fight you on this but knows that would push you away and she is finally starting to make progress. If you could call this progress.

You recompose yourself and begin to make your way to the door.

"Will we ever go back to normal?" Caitlin asks and you really can't do this right now.

You stop, not looking at her and ponder your response. You saying 'you can't do this right now' just opens the door for it at a later time. You are tired of having the same conversations.

"We never had a normal," is all you say as you walk out of the film room.

It was true, the 'normal' that the two of you had before your break up was being hidden from the world and people Cait loved most. That is not how you ever want to spend a relationship again. You deserved to be shown off and to be introduced to family and friends for what you actually are.

Your words stung, they stung you and you knew they would sting Cait but it was the truth.

You don't go to practice that day, instead you spend it tied up in your office working on drills that would benefit the team's chemistry with Caitlin.

Ben comes in and checks on you.

"I brought you lunch," he says as he places it on your desk. He knows you rarely eat at work but still always brings you food.

"Thanks, Ben," you say as you push the plate aside and keep working on the spread you have laying in front of you.

He fights back and sits across from you, pushing the plate closer to you. The only time he fights is when he knows you haven't had breakfast.

The two of you enter into a staring contest. You are determined to continue working but Ben is even more determined to make sure you don't starve to death.

After a long 30 seconds, you cave and pick up the sandwich. Taking a bite, you give Ben a 'are you happy?' look and go back to what you were doing. He stands and leaves your office with a smile.

As Ben heads out to his desk, where he meets a very unexpected face.

"Kayla," he says with surprise. "What brings you here?"

"Our game is here tonight," Kayla says.

You don't tell Ben much, but it is Ben's job to know everything going on with you. He has seen the hidden conversations. It is his job to observe and he does it really well.

He nods and the two stand semi-awkwardly.

"Ummm, can I go inside?" Kayla finally asks. Ben hesitates but nods.

Kayla walks into your office and sees you locked in on what's in front of you.

"I'm eating, don't you worry," you say, not looking up. It wouldn't be the first time Ben drops off your lunch then immediately checks to make sure you are still eating.

"Dang, I was hoping to take you out to lunch,' Kayla says and your head whips up. A light blush creeping into your cheeks.

"Kayla, what are you doing here?" You ask, both surprised and pleased.

"I came to see if you wanted to grab lunch, but by the looks of it, you are already eating," she says as she comes and takes a seat.

"Ya...it has been kind of a busy day," you say as you lean back in your chair. Your hands come to rub your temples as you try to not think about your run in with Caitlin earlier that morning.

"Why don't we get some fresh air," Kayla suggests.

You look at her and nod.

"Only if you split this sandwich with me," you say, going to offer her the plate. She smiles and nods and the two of you walk out of your office.

The two of you go on a walk around the Fieldhouse. She has you laughing and smiling and you couldn't be more grateful. Yet, as you are walking around, you can't help but think what life would look like if this was you and Caitlin. Out in the open and free to love each other with a love that has been locked down for so long.

You slow down as you are nearing your office again and you know it isn't fair.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this," you say softly. Kayla has been nothing but kind and patient with you and you know she deserves someone who is going to be all in for her.

She smiles, but you can see the pain in her eyes.

"I mean I tried, right?" Kayla says and she did. She did try, but you are still so broken and messed up that you can't let anyone in. And the only person you brain doesn't want to let in seems to be the only one your heart does.

"This may be cliche, but can we still be friends?" You ask, hope full in your eyes.

Kayla takes a minute to and you hold your breath.

"Not my first choice, but ya," Kayla says and you pull her into a hug.

The two of you stand there for longer than a moment. You head leaning into her shoulder and just allowing to be enveloped in her arms. Both of you are oblivious to the world.

What you definitely do not see is Caitlin heading into the gym from the training room. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees you in someone else's arms. To say that Caitlin's blood was boiling doesn't even begin to describe what she is feeling. All she can see is red.

You wish Kayla 'good luck' as the two of you part ways before getting ready for the game. You don't have time to go home before the game and break out the emergency outfit you have hanging on the back of your door.

You head to the floor while the team is warming up and observe. The team looks good as you watch them during shoot around. You watch each player for a little, finishing with Caitlin.

When your eyes land on hers, you see the rage in her eyes. She has never hid it well. You brush it off as getting revenge for the previous loss against the Lynx.

The game commences and you and Ben watch from your respective spots.

You watch as Caitlin plays with a dominant confidence that you have rarely seen since she has joined the W. Her first half is a masterclass as everyone watches her in awe. You watch her in awe.

That only changes when something breaks out on the floor. It happens so fast that you miss it. Whistles are being blown, players and coaches are on the floor, it is pure chaos. You step out of your square to try to see what the hell is happening.

You look up to the jumbotron as it replays. You watch as Kayla commits a pretty hard foul on Caitlin which causes her to get up and come right after Kayla, pushing her to the floor. Caitlin stands over Kayla as teammates finally intervene and pull Cait back while others try to help Kayla up but she just lays on the ground.

You don't know what to do.

You watch as part of the coaching staff guides Caitlin to the bench, she hits the bench before sitting down.

Kayla is finally up and on her own bench.

You know the call is going to be a flagrant 1 on Caitlin, you were worried they would call a flagrant 2 and toss her from the game. Which if anyone asked you, she deserved.

The refs come back and announce a common foul on Kayla, followed by a flagrant 1 on Caitlin. You turn and watch Caitlin throw a chair back and you have seen enough. You tell Ben to remove Caitlin and you head back into the lockers.

A few minutes later. You hear Caitlin fighting with Ben as he is doing all he can to get her into the locker while the game is still going on. You have to remember to give him a raise with all that he has to deal with.

Once Caitlin is mostly through the door and is cursing Ben out you grab her arm, pulling her into the room and slamming the door shut.

"What the fu-," Caitlin yells then realizes it's you.

"Go ahead, finish your sentence," you say matching her fury.

She turns away, still fuming but she shuts up.

"What the hell was that?" You as, trying not to yell.

Caitlin doesn't turn to look at you or respond, She just takes a moment to fix her ponytail and headband. She is ignoring your question.

"Clark!" You end up yelling, "What was that?"

She is laughing now and it has you even more frustrated.

Before you know what you are doing, you are right in front of her giving her shoulders a little shove.

You don't know why you just did that but you let your emotions get the best of you.

Caitlin's eyes darken as she backs you up, you are losing ground and are losing control of this whole situation.

You feel your back hit something hard, you guess a wall or the door. Your heart is beating a mile a minute - anger still being the biggest emotion you are feeling.

"What was that?" Caitlin asks, voice low. "She fouled me first."

"And that makes it okay to shove someone?" You say. "What is this really about."

Caitlin doesn't say anything, but her eyes fall from yours.

"Are you still hung up on that Nike event?" You ask, annoyed.

You sigh. Your hands come up to rub your face. Caitlin has no right to be angry with you. She is the one that ended it.

"I saw you and Kayla earlier and my blood began to boil," Caitlin says, still not making eye contact with you. "She had you wrapped in her arms and I lost it."

You deep sigh and your run down your face. You look at Caitlin and for the first time, you see the girl you loved. She is standing in front of you, not hiding but showing her full self.

Before you know it, your hands come to her arms with the intention of pushing her back, she shakes you off and places her hands on each side of your head. She has you completely trapped.

Caitlin's eyes finally meet yours, looking deep into you and time stops. The anger disappears. The hurt disappears. The world disappears. it is just the two of you.

You are not in your right mind, you know that. But you can't stop yourself from bringing your hands up to her torso - tugging lightly at her jersey. You place your hands on her stomach and drag them down to her waist.

Caitlin is scared to move, she hasn't had your hands on her in so long that this feels like a dream.

Your hands come up and run across her neck.

She closes her eyes and her head comes down to your shoulder, taking deep breaths. Your breathing syncs with hers.

Both of you standing in front of each other. Broken and vulnerable. Neither of you are really in your right mind.

You lift her head and before you can think, you bring her lips to yours.

The second your lips meet, Caitlin is a puddle. She has waited so long for this to happen again, honestly never believing it would.

Caitlin runs her tongue along your bottom lip, scared you wouldn't let her in but you do. Her hands come down to your waist, holding you in place - scared that she would wake up.

It takes a moment but Caitlin begins to taste something salty in the kiss and she reluctantly pulls away. Her eyebrows immediately furrow as she sees you standing in front of her, eyes still closed, tears streaming down your face.

Cait brings her hand up to wipe them away but the second she touches your face, time snaps back.

You step to the side, away from her as your arms come to wrap around yourself. You can't stop the tears from falling.

Caitlin says your name and you feel trapped - that night is the only thing you can hear or see. Her walking away without any explanation.

You find the door and walk out. You don't know where you are going but your legs are moving.

How could you do that to yourself? Put yourself in that position? You are the one that pulled her in.

Your feet lead you outside. You are standing in the back parking lot.

You inhale. And the second your lungs take all the air they can hold, you scream.

Next Part

You do everything in your power to work from home and avoid leaving the confines of your house. Pretty much everything you are responsible for can be done anywhere and Ben has done a stellar job of getting everything you need so you don't need to come in.

After the game, Ben took a few days to send over everything you asked for. You didn't even notice because you didn't leave your bed for several days and allowed yourself to wilt away, almost into nothing. When you finally muster up the strength to get out of bed and shower, all you need is in your inbox.

You jump into work catching up on all the missed emails and projects needing your attention. When you pick up your phone for the first time it has been about a week since the incident and you see dozens of missed calls and texts. Most of them are from Caitlin, but there are some random ones from your staff and a couple from Kate.

You know you'll be talking to your staff later so you ignore those, then look at Kate's.

[K-Money: Hey babes, just checking in - I saw the clip of the game and wanted to make sure you are still in one piece. Love you 💙]

[K-Money: Caitlin called me, please call me back. I am worried about you]

[K-Money: Call me or I am showing up at your door.]

You go to Kate's contact and hit 'call', then close your eyes.

It rings twice before she picks up.

"I thought you were dead," she says and you don't even have the strength to laugh.

“I wish I was,” you whisper as you feel tears brimming your eyes before you can stop them.

You break down and Kate lets you. You tell her everything, even the things that you haven't said out loud before. Things like, how much you still love Caitlin and how it kills you each time you see her knowing she will never be yours again. Also how you hate the fact that you want her to be yours after everything she has put you through and how time hasn’t even begun to heal you.  How it kills you that you have no idea if she was ever really yours to begin with or if any of it was real. Because how could someone just up and end a relationship after 3 years and be okay enough to walk right into someone else’s arms without flinching. 

Kate listens to every word you say, just like she did with Caitlin a few days ago.

Once you are finished, Kate speaks.

"Please listen to me when I say this and I am saying this because I love and care for you," Kate says. "You need to actually talk to Caitlin."

"No-," you begin. But Kate cuts you off.

"Please, you deserve to know the whole truth, let her tell you it," Kate says and you can hear the desperation in her voice.”I know you want to be strong and move on, but I don’t think you can do that until you find some closure. Let her give you that and then you can decide.” 

You want to ask ‘decide what?’. How could you even think of possibly letting her back in? Was there even anything to let her into when she has already taken everything from you?

You change the subject to her upcoming game and eventually end the call.

You lay there for what feels like days before you look at your phone again and at all the messages Caitlin sent. You read 3 then scroll down to the bottom, starting a new message to her.

You retype your message 4 times before you settle on 'We need to talk’. It is simple and to the point and you don't think you can keep overthinking the message.

After sending the message, you try to do some work. There really is no use because Caitlin responds within minutes of your text. 

.[Clark: Just tell me where and when and I will be there]

You decide on Gainbridge, it really wasn’t your first choice but you needed a mutual ground where you could run if needed. The time you offered was also after hours, minimizing the possibility of anyone interrupting the two of you. When you showed up later that night you slightly regret choosing this as the meeting place - I mean the last time you were here you had kissed the girl you are meeting. 

Walking in, you head to the floor and go to stand in the middle of it. You love this place. You haven’t been there long, but there is something about Indy and their sports that has you all in for what happens in this building. You couldn’t imagine ever finding another place like this. 

Per usual, you don’t see or hear Caitlin enter. Ever since day 1 she has had the bad habit of sneaking up on you. Like she usually does, she takes a moment to watch you. She has fallen in love with the way you can just be in a space and not need anything from anyone. 

Cailtin walks up slowly, making sure to make some sound so as to not scare you again. She didn’t think that would be the best way to open this conversation. 

Once you hear her, you jump anyway. 

“Shit,” you say as you whip around to see her. “We need to get you a bell or something.” 

The comment comes out before you can stop it and Caitlin cracks a smile. 

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I was trying to avoid scaring you.” 

“Never were good at that,” you say with a little chuckle, trying to keep yourself from breaking down at the sight of her.

She gives a shrug and both of you can tell there is a nervousness that has settled between the two of you. Neither of you bring up your last encounter - that would not be a good place to start. 

“You wanted to talk?” Caitlin asks. You don’t say anything immediately and look at her. She is wearing a pair of Nike sweatpants and an old Indiana shirt. 

Caitlin wants to squirm under your stare. She always feels exposed when you look at her, like you can see every part of her. And you do, you were always able to read her like a book. 

“Why?” You ask, no context needed. 

Caitlin knew this was coming. She looks down at her hands, wishing your eyes weren't on her. 

She knew this was a long time coming. It would be one thing if you didn’t mean anything to her and the decision her manager made was one that didn’t affect Cait to the core. But you do - you always have meant the world to her and now she has the opportunity to tell you the truth. She prayed for times like this but now standing in front of you, she’s scared. She’s scared because once you know, there is nothing she can do to change your mind. Once you know the truth, the ball is out of her hands. 

“Because I was a coward,” she starts off. It’s the truth but not all encompassing. 

She was a coward. She feared so many things that she couldn’t begin to think of a positive outcome. Caitlin looks back at her decision and in short, that sums it up. But she knows it’s not the answer you are looking for. It is not the answer you deserve.

“It was what my manager at the time thought was best and I didn’t fight her,” Cait says. “She thought that I needed to show stability as I entered the draft and that was in the form of Conor.” 

“Please don’t say his name,” you say as your eyes close. If there was anyone you hated more than Cait from that night it was him. 

Your chest tightens, the only thing you are hearing is that you weren’t worth it. 

Caitlin looks down and she knows what she was about to say would hurt you, but she knows you deserve the whole truth. 

“It was easy with him, he didn’t crowd and I didn’t have to explain anything to anyone about who I was and I thought it was what was best for me. Until I had to end things with you,” her breath was shaky now and you could tell she was on the verge of tears. To say you cared could have been hit or miss. 

“That night proved my security wrong. I knew it would hurt but I knew I would heal, or at least I thought I would heal. But the healing never came. For months, whenever I closed my eyes, all I could see was your rage, your brokenness. It got so bad to the point where I wouldn’t sleep. That night was and is my biggest regret.” Cailtin says and she is finally looking at you. You, on the other hand, can’t bring yourself to look at her. 

“We never really had a chance,” you whisper. Cailtin had never given the two of you a fighting chance but you also didn’t fight for her to give you one in the first place. It wasn’t until this moment that you realized, you are not completely innocent - even if she is the one to have made the final decision. 

“Don’t say that,” she says, believing you guys did. 

“We didn’t though,” you bite back. “Nobody knew Caitlin, our whole relationship was built in secret, behind closed doors. No one knew anything and when no one knows such a vital part of who someone is, is that part even real?” 

“All of it was real!” She says, exploding for the first time. “Every single part of it was real. You were the most real thing in my life and I had to let that go - I had to let you go. I didn’t have a choice! Between the pressure from the media, my manager, my family - I didn’t have a place for me to be Caitlin except when I was with you, And then they wanted that and took that from me, leaving me even more confused about who I was. And the thing is, I was going to tell my parents, I was going to tell them everything going into the draft because I loved you so Goddamn much that there was no way those that claimed they loved me could not love you. And then I was forced into a relationship to please the world, without even being asked how it would affect me. And then I actually had to do it - cut you from my life without any explanation, any support. What made it worse is the timing.” 

Caitlin is crying at this point and so are you. 

“I know I can’t go back to that night, but if I could I would take it all back. I would tell you that I was ready to tell my parents and we would drive there right then and there. I would show you off to the world because you are the sole reason I am who I am.” Cailtin says. 

This whole situation is fucked. 

“I still love you,’ she says in defeat. “I am still in love with you, have never stopped. And I know I made a mess of things - I probably set us up to fail in the first place, but I am not the same person I was before. I am not the coward who thought I could survive without you because I can’t. I cannot survive without you.”

She takes a deep inhale as if this is the first time she has been able to breathe since that night. 

“But I know you have had to learn to survive without me, I didn't give you a choice. You have healed and have moved on,” Caitlin can’t stop the tears from falling. “And I want to be happy for you, I really do - Kayla seems great.” Her words are forced. “I will be happy for you. You deserve to be happy.” 

You don’t know what it is, it could be the fact that there is a crying Caitlin in front of you or the fact that she just said she still loves you but you reach out to touch her. Your hands come to her shoulders and the second you do, she crumbles. You hold her as she shakes and lets everything she has been holding out. 

She still loves you.

You still love her. 

Is it really that simple? Can it truly be that simple? 

It can’t be, right? Because all you have thought about is the hurt - you haven’t taken any time to think back and remember what it was like to actually be with her. The moments when she was at the center of your world. 

Once Caitlin calms down, you compose your thoughts. 

“You’re right,” you say “I do deserve to be happy.” 

“But you are also wrong. I had to pick myself back up and keep going but I never healed. I thought I did, I truly believed that I had moved on from you and then I got a job here. I had to pick up my life and move it to the one place I did not want to be. And it wasn’t until coming here and seeing you that I realized, I am not healed. I have not healed. Because the second I saw you, I wanted to run back into your arms but I couldn’t and I hated myself for wanting to.” 

It is your turn to exhale. Your eyes close. 

“I love you Caitlin Clark,” you say. “I hate it, but I do. And I don’t know how to live without you and that infuriates me.” 

“Give me a chance,” she says, the table has flipped and now she is the one that has her hands on your shoulders. “Give me a chance to prove that things have changed. That I have changed.” 

You so desperately want to. It is one of the only things you have wanted but you don’t think you could survive if she walked out again. It would end you. 

But then why? Why did you choose to come here? Yes, it was for a job - your dream job but it wasn’t the only place offering. Maybe it was because deep down you knew you had to see her again. Even with the past you had, she was meant to be in your future. 

“If I lose you again, I don’t think I would survive,” you say just above a whisper. 

“You won’t,” she says as her hands now come up to cup your face. 

“You don’t know that,” you say, eyes still closed. You can’t look at her, looking at her makes this all real. 

“I do know that,” she says with such an assurance. “I know it because I will walk away from everything, all of it right now if it means I can begin to fix what I broke in you.” 

Are you an idiot for this? Are you an idiot for wanting to let her back in? Are you an idiot because you are actually about to let her?

Your eyes open and you look at her. Both of your eyes are red and puffy.

“You are not going to walk away from everything,” you say and Caitlin protests. 

“I will-,” she begins but you cut her off. 

“I won’t let you walk away from everything,” you say. “You would drive both of us crazy if you didn’t play.” 

You say it and you mean it. You have no idea how this is going to go but like she said, you deserve to be happy. And if there is anything you have learned without her, it is that you only ever truly learned what happiness looks like for you because of her. 

“Us?” She says, but it’s choked out. 

“Ya, us,” you say. “But I swear, if you even think of walking out again-” 

Caitlin slams you into her body as she wraps her arms around you. 

“Never,” she says and you believe her.