kismet in reverse
your ex: Great running into you at dinner last night.
you: Nope.
your ex: Really? You weren't excited to see me?
you: I mean...
your ex: Come on. I looked pretty good.
you: You looked amazing.
your ex: Thanks. You looked sweaty.
you: Was it obvious?
your ex: The big swampy pools under your armpits? No.
you: Excuse me for getting nervous.
your ex: Why were you nervous?
you: Because I'm not like you. I don't know how to act like I have alzheimers and pretend you're a random stranger now.
your ex: I wasn't pretending. You are a weird stranger to me now.
you: I said random, not weird.
your ex: I know.
you: But we were best friends.
your ex: Not counting my best friends from childhood.
you: We told each other everything.
your ex: I lied. Often.
you: WE USED TO PUT OUR GENITALS INSIDE OF EACH OTHER.
your ex: Never my favorite activity.
you: Really?! Because you made a lot of crazy fucking noises that suggested otherwise.
your ex: See two comments above.
you: See you in hell.
your ex: ...
you: Of all the restaurants in this city, why'd you have to go to Angelini?
your ex: Because Angelini is delicious.
you: I showed you Angelini.
your ex: So it's off limits to me now?
you: That's goddman right.
your ex: You're gonna stay away from all the places I showed you?
you: You didn't show me anything. What'd you show me?
your ex: Your favorite movie theater. Your favorite bakery. Your dermatologist.
you: Those things are ruined for me.
your ex: The dermatologist is ruined for you?
you: I'd rather get skin cancer than give you the satisfaction.
your ex: The satisfaction of what?
you: Stop badgering me.
your ex: Look on the bright side. At least you didn't see me on a date...
you: You look on the bright side. I would've stabbed you with a fork.
your ex: ...because I was on a date the night before. And I'm on a date right now.
you: Have fun getting chlamydia.
your ex: Have fun being celibate for the next six years.
you: ...
your ex: ...
you: Do you have a date tomorrow?
your ex: Why?
you: Maybe we could go on a date.
your ex: Oh jesus.
you: What?
your ex: Just because we ran into each other doesn't mean I want to start seeing you on purpose.
you: Not even a little?
your ex: Do you have any dignity?
you: You took it with you when you left.
your ex: Well I don't intend on meeting up with you to give it back.
you: This is gonna set me back like two months, isn't it?
your ex: At least.
