#svtwish

Normally, you would’ve run to him when the door swung open, announcing his arrival with your dinner.

Tonight, however, he was greeted by the faint sound of music playing in the background, even after he’d shouted your name countless times.

Seungkwan frowned, his cheery mood disappearing as he realised something was up. Did he make you angry again? Or were you just in a bad mood?

He placed the takeaway on top of the small coffee table, padding his way to your room.

The boy felt his heart sink at the sight that unfolded before him. There you were, hunched over your books with earphones stuffed into your ears as you studied. Your hand was on your head and he could see your eye bags from a mile away as you blinked tiredly.

“Hey,” Seungkwan called, tapping you in the shoulder. “Wait— that’s my hoodie,” a small smile made its way back onto his face when he took note of how cute you looked in his oversized clothing.

You blinked back, taking a few seconds to respond. “It’s comfortable.”

“I know it is. Anyway, your dinner’s here.”

“Right,” you mumbled, pausing your music as you capped your pen. He noticed how your figure sagged in exhaustion, probably from the endless sleepless nights you’d spent studying your ass off.

Seungkwan slipped his hand into yours and pulled you to the coffee table, making sure you sat down before preparing the takeout for you. You thanked him with a tired smile, realising he’d ordered your favourite. The music major smiled back, tucking your hair behind your ear as you started eating.

“Something’s wrong,” Seungkwan muttered, spooning food into his mouth. “You’re not usually this tired.”

You stopped moving for a while, contemplating on what to say before deciding to shake your head. “Exam stress, that’s all.”

Your boyfriend sighed, eating another spoonful. “I can read you like a book, you know. Something happened, didn’t it?”

You chose to ignore the question and continued eating in silence, Seungkwan getting the hint and deciding to stop pestering you for the rest of the meal.

It was only when you were clearing the trash from the table when he spoke again.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me,” he said, making you turn and look at him with an eyebrow raised. “But I’m here if you need to cry.”

It was almost instant; you felt all the stress and exhaustion you’d been pushing away come crashing back as the tears gathered at your eyes, reminiscing the past events that’d happened the last few days. All the disappointment, anger and sadness you’d managed to avoid surged within you again as you looked at Seungkwan, smiling softly with his arms open wide.

They seem so warm.

Before you knew it, you were tackling him with a hug, burying your face in his chest as his protective arms wrapped around your now sobbing figure. All the frustrated tears poured out onto his grey shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind.

If anything, he was happy you were letting it all out.

He rubbed soothing circles on your back as you continued crying, clutching his shirt whilst shaking uncontrollably. Seungkwan pulled you closer to him, shifting so you both were in a comfortable position. He ran his fingers through your hair, pressing fleeting kisses onto your forehead as you let your frustrations out.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that; the only thing you knew was how much better you felt after you’d cried yourself dry, peeling away from Seungkwan’s shirt. The said boy gazed at you, his usual soft smile showing as he grabbed tissues to wipe the remaining tears off your face.

“Better?” He whispered, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

Seungkwan felt his heart swell when you smiled back — your usual, genuine smile that he hadn’t seen in a while.

Junhui loved everyone, and everyone loved him. He’d never fail to give friendly smiles to the servants who worked in the palace, and bring colour to the townspeople’s monochrome lives with his odd sense of humour whenever he paid visits to the local market. He didn’t just have a pretty face; he had an amazing personality and top-notch manners to top it all off.

Jun also loved his parents. He deeply respected the King and Queen for ruling the country so brilliantly and bringing the country wealth and prosperity as well as happiness; a feat he doubted he would be able to do. He loved his mother and father for giving birth to him and showing him so many things he’d never known before.

What the second prince didn’t love, however, was the fact that he was denied of the freedom to choose his spouse.

He recalled being summoned into the throne room many years ago, when he was still a young boy ignorant of the world and the many problems around him. His father — the King — broke it to him that he’d have to marry a Princess from one of the neighbouring kingdoms. It was something about maintaining peace with the kingdom to avoid war; Junhui didn’t really understand at that time. He shrugged the news off, treating it as another piece of information he didn’t really understand.

It was only after he grew a little older and developed a crush on one of his classmates that he realised the true impact of his arranged marriage. He would’t be able to marry anyone he fell in love with, unless it was, well, the person he was supposed to marry. He grew to despise the idea of having someone choosing for him; especially when it was the person he’d have to spend his entire life with.

He grew to despise the idea of having to marry a Princess from a neighbouring kingdom; the idea of marrying you.

At one point, Junhui’s mother thought it’d be a good idea for him and his “future wife” to meet. He was only nine at that time, but he really didn’t want to see you. Or talk to you. Or play with you.

Unfortunately, your mother happily agreed to the idea of you going on a playdate with Jun.

So the two of you were pushed together, left alone to your own devices in a random room in Junhui’s castle as your mothers went off for high tea.

The boy crossed his arms and strode over to one of the corners of the room, sticking his tongue out at you. “I don’t want to play with you.”

You huffed in response, stomping your way to the corner right opposite his. “Me neither!”

“I don’t want to marry you,” the second Prince announced, throwing a sharp glare at you.

“You think I’d want to marry you?” You rolled your eyes, glaring right back at him. “Who would want to marry a stinky brat like you, anyway?”

“I am not a stinky brat!” He shouted, balling his hands into fists. “You’re the stinky bimbo! I don’t need a dumb princess as my wife!”

The next hour continued that way, the both of you throwing insults at each other with no mercy. It ended with you crying and Jun on the verge of doing so; the only reason why you hadn’t had a physical fight yet was because the two Queens rushed into the room just in time to stop things from getting worse.

Your first meeting only fuelled your hate towards each other, and your reluctance to get married to the other.

You both felt this animosity towards each other; it was unspoken, but everyone knew.

Ever since then, it became Junhui’s tradition to feign sickness on the nights your kingdom held special events, and vice-versa. Heck, it didn’t even need to be an event your castle held. It could be any event; as long as the boy heard you were going to attend, he’d make it his mission to miss out on it. It was the same for you.

Both your parents were getting sick and tired of your childish game.

In fact, it wasn’t just Jun’s parents; his servant and close friend, Minghao, was getting irritated as well.

“I’m not feeling well, Hao. I think I’ll skip this one,” Jun said, sinking comfortably into the sheets of his luxurious queen-sized bed.

Minghao let out a tired sigh, pinching his nose bridge. “Look, just quit it already,” he groaned, glaring at the prince. “There’s no escaping the fact that you’ll be married one day, so you might as well just face her now.”

Jun frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together. “After that horrendous first meeting? No thanks, I’d like to avoid talking to that rude girl for as long as possible.”

“You were just as rude, Junhui.”

The said prince let out a frustrated sigh, sitting up on his elbows to look at his servant, who was leaning against the door to his grand room. “I don’t want to meet her yet, okay? It just sucks that I have to be forced into this. And she clearly doesn’t want to meet me either, considering how she hasn’t been turning up for our events despite the invitations.”

Minghao mumbled a yes, your majesty before leaving the room, feeling extremely ticked-off.

Junhui sighed and threw himself back onto the pillow, praying he wouldn’t meet you anytime soon.

“Y/N! Get up and start packing,” you woke up to the sound of your mother’s high-pitched voice. “We’re going for a diplomatic meeting in a neighbouring kingdom.”

Still blinking your sleep away, you frowned. “Why do I have to go?”

“You’re nineteen, Y/N. It’s about time you got some first-hand insight on how things work to add on to your knowledge.” Your mother rummaged through your drawers and pulled out a white suitcase. “No more objections. We’re leaving in two hours.”

“Wait — how long are we staying there?” You rubbed your eyes, trying your hardest to suppress a yawn.

“Seven days, six nights.”

Now you were fully awake. “What the hell are we staying so long for? A vacation?”

“Language.”

With that, the Queen exited your dwelling, leaving you to pack one week’s worth of clothes and get ready for a royal meeting in two hours.

You groaned, finally kicking the sheets off you and stepping out of your bed. It’s going to be a long week.

The royal butler helped load your now full suitcase into the back of the car. You thanked him with a small smile before climbing into the black car and inserting yourself into the corner, leaning against the window. Your mother slid in next to you, immediately criticising your choice of dress. It was a long, light blue gown, and not as fancy as your mother would’ve liked. After all, it was just another diplomatic meeting — it’s not like you were going to impress someone.

“You should’ve worn the yellow one I got you the other day,” she chided, tearing your body away from the corner and making you face her. “You hair is a mess! You should’ve at least dried it!”

“You gave me two hours to pack for a week-long trip and to get ready, Mother,” you mumbled, sighing as she turned you around once again and worked her skilled hands along your hair to try and straighten the tangled strands.

“A princess must always look presentable, regardless of how long she is given to prepare,” your mother started lecturing you as the car started. “Especially when she is about to meet people from other kingdoms.”

Nodding your head emotionlessly, you blocked the rest of her lecture out, returning back to your corner when she was done trying to make you look a bit more presentable. When she was finally done chattering about her mother and the beatings she had to endure because she wasn’t up to standard, you asked, “Which kingdom are we going to?”

The Queen smiled, an excited look passing through her eyes. “You’ll see.”

You were busy napping for about ninety-percent of the ride to the oh, so exciting kingdom named ’You’ll See’ , so you didn’t realise the roads that were taken were the ones that led to a horrid memory you couldn’t erase.

It only dawned on you on exactly whose kingdom you were in when your eyes blinked open as you arrived at the castle front.

Immediately, you shot awake, any remnants of sleep instantly disappearing as you looked around, not truly believing where you’d arrived.

“Mother,” you gulped, turning to face the woman who wore a pleased expression on her face. “Isn’t this — Junhui’s—”

The said woman beamed as the car halted and the passenger door swung open. “Yes.” She stepped out of the black vehicle just as the door on your side jerked open, making your heart fill with dread.

Oh, dear lord, please help me.

You gingerly got out of the car, hastily wiping away the drool that was on your cheek. Hurrying to join your mother’s side,  you tried your best to straighten your slightly crumpled dress as she stepped in front of the doors, holding onto her purse.

Please, don’t open.

Much to your dismay, the grand double doors creaked open, revealing a —

Whoa.

You couldn’t help it when your eyes widened, taking in the sight in front of you. He was barely recognisable — half of his fringe was gelled up, and he stood devastatingly tall in a full suit, completed with a tie. Gone were his features that you’d criticised ten years ago— they were replaced by lips, eyes and a nose that were nothing short of perfect.

Wen Junhui looked gorgeous.

His eyebrows raised in surprise, eyes running up and down your figure. His mind was reeling, wondering as to why you were here, why his mother hadn’t given him a warning beforehand, and how you managed to look so stunning when he remembered insulting your bugs-bunny teeth in that damned room a decade ago.

If he were being very honest, Jun wanted nothing more than to stare at you all day and get to know you better over a cup of tea; perhaps even apologise for the snarky comments he’d made about your behaviour and appearance all those years ago. If he had known you’d transform into this beautiful girl, he would’ve treated you like a queen.

In that moment, he was more than grateful that you were going to be his wife.

Then he recalled your mean comments and constant death glares directed at him; Jun had to stop himself from pushing you out of the castle as the feeling of awe and wonder disappeared as quickly as it came.

A nudge from his mother reminded him where he was and what he was supposed to do, so he stepped forward to take your hand, pressing a light kiss onto the back of it. “Welcome,” he greeted with a charming smile, letting your hand go. Your breath caught in your throat when you realised just how more alluring he was up close, but you recovered quickly, turning the ends of your lips upwards to thank him with a small curtsy.

Your mothers exchanged hugs, and Junhui took a small step back from you. The silence was awkward as you fiddled with your dress, suddenly wishing you were wearing something fancier.

Once the two Queens had finished with their small reunion, a servant with cute elf-like ears led the four of you to the meeting room. You noticed how Junhui glared at the poor servant, and how the servant constantly shot the second prince apologetic smiles, mouthing something along the lines of listen, there’s more coming up.

Suppressing a yawn, you took your seat at the round table, bowing to the King. Junhui took his seat next to yours, clearly uncomfortable, as seen from how straight his back was.

The meeting went by depressingly slow, and you had half a mind to excuse yourself to the toilet and stay there till the meeting was over. Jun himself seemed to be dozing off, if not for the fact that his mother was constantly nudging him under the table, preventing him from falling asleep. You weren’t quite sure what the learning objective of the two-hour long discussion was, other than a. Junhui’s father was a terribly long-winded man and b. his servant with the cute ears went by the name of Minghao.

It finally came to an end when the King cleared his throat, announcing that he was to attend yet another meeting in about an hour, and that everyone was now dismissed. You stood up a little too excitedly, stretching your numb limbs after being in the same position for so long, eager to go home.

“Princess Y/N,” Minghao started, lowering his head politely, “Our butlers have already unloaded your luggage. I’ll take you to your room, unless you’d like Prince Junhui to?”

At that, your jaw slackened, the surprise evident in your face. You completely forgot that you’d be staying for a whole week. Blinking as you tried your best to wipe the shock off your features, you were about to answer him when Jun interrupted.

“What do you mean, take her to her room?” The disbelief was etched into his voice as he rose from his seat, walking towards you and Minghao. The servant watched as the taller Prince came to a stop beside you, the height difference between you two making you feel incredibly small.

“Our dear Y/N will be staying over for a week, Junhui,” the Prince’s mother explained, looking between the three of you with a disgustingly sweet smile. It made you want to puke as you took note of how forced it was.

“I wasn’t told of this,” the said Prince argued, clearly angry.

“That’s because you would’ve been completely against it, dear,” the woman’s smile stretched across her face as she gestured towards you. “How about you take Y/N to her room? It’s the one next to yours.”

Junhui looked like he was about to punch the living lights out of his mother before he caught his father shooting him a stern glare. Turning his head away, he sighed in resignation as he regarded you, the hate still evident in his eyes. It made you wince a little.

“Wait — then where’s my mother staying?” You asked, suddenly coming to realise that your mother hadn’t said a thing since the whole affair had started.

You shifted your gaze away from Jun’s and to where your mother was standing. She was visibly avoiding eye contact, and you could read her like an open book. She fidgeted nervously, guilt evident from her body language. The room was eerily quiet as everyone watched the mother and daughter.

She’s not even staying. Your confused eyes turned into furious ones as you tore your eyes from her figure, choosing to glare at the carefully polished tiles beneath you. She lied to me.

“Let’s just go,” you mumbled under your breath, knowing that you were inevitably acting like a spoilt brat in front of not only your mother, but in front of another kingdom’s King and Queen.

And your future husband.

Seungcheol was familiar with how things ran in the Palace. He was very familiar with the many tutors that taught him about country’s politics. He was very, very, familiar with the importance of his position — the crown Prince — and how he’d one day inherit the throne.

He was also familiar with his father’s royal advisor, who happened to be the King’s best friend. He was familiar with the fact that the royal advisor only had one child, an intelligent girl who excelled in all aspects, who would take over her father’s position and be the next advisor.

In simpler terms, you’d be Choi Seungcheol’s royal advisor when the time came around.

However, he wasn’t — in the least bit — familiar with you. The young Prince had heard so many things about you. Stories, words of praise — you name it, Seungcheol had probably heard it. The whole world seemed to know you.

The whole world except for the crown Prince,  that is.

It was truly surprising that Seungcheol had never seen you in person, or in pictures. For a whole twenty years of his life, he’d heard a gazillion different stories about this brilliant girl who’d one day be by his side, but he’d never laid his eyes on you. Not once.

He remembered attending events — balls, royal meetings, dinners — and being told that you’d be there, and that he’d meet you. He remembered scanning rooms and halls anxiously for any sign of an unfamiliar girl, any sign of someone, something, that seemed like it’d be Y/N, the next royal advisor — the first female one, in fact — but alas, his efforts were always in vain.

Seungcheol was always eager too meet you. Too eager to the point where he’d mistake Princesses from neighbouring kingdoms to be you, only to be disappointed, time and time again, his mood ruined for the rest of the day when he realised that yet another event had come to an end and he still hadn’t met you yet.

So when he first did, it took him by quite a surprise.

It was during the palace’s annual ball, where practically the whole country was invited to attend. His trusty servant, Jihoon, had once again told him that you’d be there, and that he had a chance of finally meeting you. Seungcheol didn’t take it with much regard, though.

“Jihoon, you’ve been telling me that for the past ten years,” he’d laughed, adjusting his hair whilst looking in the mirror.

“Suit yourself, Cheol. You owe me ten if you do meet her tonight.” Jihoon snorted in response, leaning against the wall, smirking confidently.

“And you owe me twenty if I don’t.”

Jihoon’s smirk grew wider. “Deal.”

Maybe he was too excited, as he always was by the thought of meeting so many new people at the ball, but he didn’t pay the slightest attention to the fact that Jihoon was so confident about it.

When Seungcheol appeared at the ball, he tried not to look for you too much, like he’d did during past events that Jihoon promised you’d attend. He tried to settle for the fact that you’d always be the mystery girl who went by Y/N L/N, and he’d only meet you when he was King.

He ventured around the palace, greeting the commoners and talking to them about various topics, expanding his insight and adding things to the already long list of pressing matters and situations he needed to solve or improve. (Or rather, tell his father that they needed to be solved or improved.)

A middle-aged woman was speaking to him cheerfully about how well things had been going for her children (“Thanks to you listening to my troubles last year, Your Majesty, school fees have been cheaper!”) when he spotted an alluring figure in a stunning black gown flee towards the balcony from the corner of his eye. He looked up from the short lady to try and find the figure in the crowd, but to no avail.

Seungcheol felt his heart rate pick up. Who was that? He’d never seen anyone that beautiful before. A Princess from the next kingdom? That seemed highly likely.

No, it couldn’t be. He’d met dozens of Princesses. Whoever that was didn’t seem familiar at all.

Immediately, the Prince ended the conversation as politely as he could, and scrambled towards the direction of the balcony.

The woman leaning against the railing, looking up at the dark, starry sky made his breath hitch. Then she turned, and Seungcheol swore he melted at the sight of the smile that played on her lips.

“About time you found me.”

The Prince blinked. Found?

“Have you still not figured out who I am?”

He blinked again. Then it dawned on him.

His confused expression turned into one of confidence. He smirked at your relaxed figure, still leaning against the railing as you smoothed the creases in your dress.

“I didn’t know we were playing this game of hide-and-seek, my dear Y/N.” Seungcheol walked towards you boldly, making you cross your arms smugly.

“Since when was I yours?” Seungcheol’s smirk grew impossibly wider. You were an interesting one.

“Don’t try and change the topic, dear.”

You laughed. “It’s fun to see the look of despair on your face when an event ends and you still haven’t found me.” Your mischievous eyes met his large ones. “It’s fun to hear Jihoon tell me how agitated you get when someone tells you another story of me. It’s fun to mess with you, your highness. You’re incredibly smart,” you paused, watching Seungcheol’s face grow annoyed, “but at the same time, incredibly dense.”

He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “So you’ve been ensuring that our paths don’t cross for the last twenty years? On purpose? Are you kidding?”

“I apologise, your majesty.” It didn’t sound like you were sorry, though- the King to-be caught the hint of amusement that laced your voice.

Seungcheol sucked in a deep breath before taking another large step towards you and tilting your chin up. You stared at him intensely, unfaltering, even under his gaze.

He understood why everyone thought so highly of you.

He dropped his hand, running his frustrated fingers through his carefully gelled hair. He knew he was giving you the reaction you wanted, but for some odd reason he couldn’t control it. Sighing, he met your eyes once again. “I suppose I shouldn’t treat my royal advisor so rudely from the first meeting.”

You smiled, extending your hand. “I’m Y/N L/N. A pleasure to finally meet you, your majesty.”

Instead of shaking it, however, Seungcheol pressed his lips to the back of your smooth hand. A small blush dusted your cheeks in the moonlight, though it faded away quickly as you regained your composure. It was nice to see that flustered expression on your face for a change.

“I’m sorry.”

Those were the last words she said to him.

“I just don’t love you anymore.”

Joshua didn’t want to ask why. He just smiled softly and nodded, trying his best to comprehend what was happening.

“It’s fine.”

He didn’t feel any form of heartbreak or regret as she began walking away, making herself another one of his exes.

Figuring it was about time he started moving back to his dorm, he pulled his phone out and began dialling a number he’d memorised a long time ago.

“Jeonghan? Yeah, she broke up with me.

“Me? No, I’m fine. It was another infatuation, I guess.”

His friend on the other end of the line mumbled something, and he let out a strangled laugh.

“There’s no need for that. Call the others over. I’m sure they’ll celebrate the fact that I’m single again.”

He padded back to his dorm, ending the call and slipping the phone back into his pocket.

Sighing, his mind drifted. Was he ever going to find the one who was meant for him? Maybe he was destined to be alone. Maybe that was why everyone seemed to leave him.

A small tinge of hurt ran through him as he thought about the idea of her leaving him for someone else. She didn’t seem in the least bit hurt or scared when the words flew out of her mouth, ending their relationship. Indeed, Joshua felt nothing as he smiled and accepted his fate; but somehow, this breakup seemed a little different from the others. He didn’t notice it before, but it was like a piece of his heart had broken off and followed her, leaving him and seeming to never return.

Another sigh left his lips.

He arrived at his front door, turning the knob.

Half of his thirteen-member friend group welcomed him, some on the couch, browsing through the TV channels, some seated on the floor devouring his leftover take-out from the night before. Joshua couldn’t help but shake his head. Some things never changed; the same thing always happened whenever he or anyone else had gone through a breakup.

His roommate greeted him, grinning widely. “The others are still in class. We ordered pizza to cheer you up!”

Soonyoung, lying comfortably on the sofa, yelled, “Don’t feel bad, Shua-hyung! I didn’t like her very much anyway.”

Seungcheol smacked his leg, making the bright boy wince. “That’s not what you’re supposed to say, Soonyoung.”

Joshua laughed. “It’s okay, really.”

The rest of his friends streamed in one-by-one, and the rest of the day was spent with bad jokes and pizza. For a moment, he thought he’d been successful in forgetting her; forgetting the one person who seemed to be a little different.

However, the hours spent forgetting her were rendered useless when he walked into his first lecture the next day, taking his usual space at the back of the hall. Usually, she would’ve settled for the seat next to him.

This time, she skipped into the lecture hall, clinging onto another man.

He was right, after all — she’d left him for another one.

Joshua felt bile rise up in his throat.

The girl trailed her eyes to where Joshua was seated, seemingly making eye contact on purpose. He felt his heart break into tiny pieces as he watched her lips curl into a smirk, pulling her new boyfriend to a seat in the middle row.

He tore his gaze away from her, his poorly-completed assignment suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the room.

It wasn’t the first time it was happening.

It wasn’t the first time he’d watched his ex find someone else in a span of two seconds.

Yet it was the first time he’d felt so broken and hurt.

The oxygen left his lungs. Suddenly it was difficult to breathe.

He wanted nothing more than to disappear into oblivion; so that he wouldn’t realise how much he missed her, how much he needed her, how much she had hurt him.

Jeonghan seemed to realise that this time, the breakup was different. He noticed how Joshua drifted off into his thoughts more often, sometimes completely zoning out and missing important details, which was very unlike him.

So his friend tried to help him; setting him up on blind dates, dragging him to parties, and so on. Unfortunately, no one seemed to catch Joshua’s eye.

He was constantly thinking of her.

It was almost a month now. Almost a month since the breakup, almost a month since he had been feeling empty and growing sour at the sight of her and her boyfriend casually PDA-ing during lectures. Up till then, he still hadn’t decided if he wanted to punch the guy or tell him to treat her right. If it were possible, he would’ve done both a long time ago.

He was lying on his bed, being unproductive again, scrolling through Instagram absent-mindedly. Jeonghan was yelling something at him from the kitchen; something he tuned out with ease. He only came back down to earth when his now-angry roommate snatched the phone from his hands, glaring at him.

“Go and take a walk or something.”

Joshua sat up, still in his la la land. “What for?”

“I don’t know, just take a walk. Maybe that will get you back on track.” Jeonghan stated crossly, throwing Joshua’s phone onto the bed.

The boy reached for his phone, swinging his legs to the side of the bed. He kept silent, thinking about what Jeonghan said.

“It’s about time you get over her, Shua.” His friend sighed, reaching over to grab Joshua’s jacket and throw it at him. “She was never worth your time.”

“I know that,” the said man gritted his teeth. “I know that.”

Jeonghan sighed, walking out of the room.

“Hurry before it gets dark.”

He was starting to regret not planning his “walk” in advance.

Joshua had no idea where he was going. He was just wandering around campus, letting loneliness overwhelm him.

He came across a bench, and, deciding that his feet were getting tired, took a seat.

The sun was beginning to set, reddish-orange hues quickly replacing the bright blue. It was a pity, how the tall university buildings blocked the view. Joshua imagined it would’ve looked beautiful.

“Sorry, do you mind if I join you?” A small voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he turned his attention to the figure who had approached the bench.

Smiling, he shook his head. “No, not at all.”

You smiled back, sitting on the other end of the oak bench. He noticed how your eyes seemed a little puffy, most likely from crying.

“If you don’t mind… Can I ask you something?” You asked, making Joshua widen his eyes in surprise, turning his head to glance at you.

“Go ahead.”

“My friend,” you started, playing with your fingers sitting on your lap, “she went through a really bad breakup like… two days ago?”

“Yeah?” He returned to gazing at the reddish-orange sky, already foreseeing where the conversation was going.

“And today,” you paused, suddenly unsure of why you were about to tell this story to a complete stranger. “She saw her ex kissing another girl. She thinks she saw him look at her and, I don’t know, smile?”

Joshua hummed in response, wanting to laugh at how familiar the whole situation seemed.

“And she’s completely heart-broken. She really liked the guy, and now she’s just… hurt.”

The boy turned again to face you to find that you were looking right back at him. Your eyes interlocked, and he let out a long sigh.

“That situation seems all too familiar to me, actually,” he mumbled, making you splutter a sorry, I didn’t know.

He smiled again, shaking his head. “It’s fine, really.

“If you’re asking me for advice, all I can say is to try your best to get over it.”

He didn’t know why he was saying that when he was very clearly acting against his own words.

“And one day, maybe…” Joshua’s eyes remained locked on your bloodshot ones. “Maybe, you’ll find someone else.”

He would’ve been lying if he said he didn’t have the urge to pull you in for a comforting hug as you continued staring at each other. A soothing silence fell over the two of you, which was unexpected for two complete strangers whose only thing in common was a broken heart.

“Thanks,” you muttered, tearing your eyes away from his beautiful, entrancing ones. “I needed that.”

Just as the words left your mouth, you stood up, dusting off your blue jeans and adjusting your grip on your bag. “Well, I think I’ll be going now. It’s getting late.”

Joshua blinked, watching as you began walking away from him. He wanted you to stay; he wanted to continue talking to you, about anyone and anything.

So, mustering all the courage he had, he shouted a panicked wait, making you turn around and tilt your head to the side, confusion written all over your features.

“Your name,” his courage left him all at once, making his heart race with anxiety and regret. He probably seemed like a creep to you, he thought.

Instead of continuing to scurry away like he expected you to, however, you giggled, hand flying over your mouth.

“It’s Y/N!” You grinned. “What’s yours?”

“Joshua!”

“That’s a nice name,” you stated, waving goodbye. “See you around.”

Joshua smiled; his bright, genuine smile. The smile that reached his eyes and made him just about the most stunning person to be alive on the entire planet.

“Soonyoung. Wake up.”

“Five more minutes,” he groaned, burying his head further into the pillow.

“You’re going to be late for work,” you grabbed the pillow from under him, throwing it onto the floor. It made him mutter an oof as he rolled over, turning away from you.

“So be it,” he argued, eyes squeezing shut. You sighed, reaching over to pull at Soonyoung’s arm.

“Don’t you have an important presentation today?”

That was what had him jolting straight up, making you shake your head. He shot you a surprised look, mouthing an oh, shit.

His hair stuck out in tufts all around his head, and combined with his expression, he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. It earned a laugh from you as you stepped away from the queen-sized bed, walking out of your shared room in the small apartment.

“Breakfast is ready. Hurry up and go brush your teeth.”

“Sure thing, general,” your husband mumbled, dragging himself away from the comfort of his covers and to the bathroom.

He emerged from the room a few minutes later, joining you at the small dining table. His hilarious bed hair was settled with a reasonable amount of water, though Soonyoung still looked sleepy, his body slumping onto the seat next to yours. He pulled the plate closer to the edge of the table, picking at his toast.

You yourself stuffed the bread into your mouth, chewing unceremoniously. Soonyoung watched you eat, making you raise an eyebrow in question.

“What?” You asked, your mouth still moving to bite on your breakfast.

The man chuckled at your hungry state, placing his hand on top of your head.

“You eat funny.”

You swallowed the bread with a huge gulp, proceeding to glare at him. “What does that mean?”

Soonyoung shrugged, still smiling. “Nothing.”

You shot him another suspicious glare before turning your attention back to your plate. He took the chance to lean forward and press his lips to your cheek, making your eyes widen in surprise.

When you turned to look at him, he was still smiling widely at you, pure happiness written all over his face. You couldn’t help but giggle at it; he was just too pure, too squishy for the world. To this day, you still wondered as to how you were so lucky to have him as your spouse.

Breakfast continued uneventfully, ending with Soonyoung rushing back into the room to get showered and changed. You took your time clearing the table, humming your favourite song as you waited for him to finish getting ready. Your work day started a bit later than usual, so you didn’t have to rush like poor Soonyoung did.

“Y/N! Do I look presentable?”

You spun around, immediately giggling at the sight. He was in a full suit, with the white shirt tucked in hastily into his pants. His hair was gelled up quite nicely, though his tie was a mess, hanging from his collar.

Striding over to where he was, you re-adjusted the polka-dot tie before instructing him to adjust his shirt.

“There.”

“Thanks,” Grinning, he pulled you by the waist and pressed his lips onto yours for a warm kiss.

“Good luck on the presentation.” You whispered when you pulled away, sliding your hand into his.

He squeezed your hand, his nervousness evident in the way he was gripping it rather tightly.

You walked him to the door, watching as he proceeded to open it. Soonyoung turned around to face you one last time, giving you a peck on the lips.

“I love you,” he grinned, smoothing out your hair once again as he slipped his shoes on.

“I love you too.”

Soonyoung straightened his jacket, huffing out as he started walking away from the small apartment. You shouted a goodbye as you waved, watching as he slowly disappeared from view.

It wasn’t long after you closed the door when you received a text from the person you said goodbye to a few minutes prior.

You laughed as you read the message, shaking your head at Soonyoung’s carelessness. There was never a morning that wasn’t boring; not when your husband was Kwon Soonyoung.

The house next to you had been empty even before your first moved in, so you were pleasantly surprised when you spotted a young man heaving boxes into the old house. You had half a mind to go over and help, but unfortunately your social anxiety got the better of you and you ended up staying at home with Netflix in the background, constantly peeking through the window as you watched your new neighbour move boxes.

You soon learned that the boy living next to you went by the name of Joshua, as seen from the misplaced letters that sometimes ended up in your mailbox. He lived alone and was always away, judging from the way the lights in his home were always switched off. From what you’d observed, Joshua was probably a man in his early twenties, with no lover. All these were just shallow guesses from the little details you could make out from the comfort of your cozy home, so you couldn’t be too sure.

You also learned that his workplace was very near yours. A five minute walk from yours, maybe. The first time you saw him on the way home was a few days after he’d moved in. You’d settled into the seat at the very back of the bus when you spotted a familiar figure chase after the vehicle and board it in a hurry, gasping for air.

Joshua proceeded to settle for the seat in front of yours, making brief eye contact and giving you a small smile as if to acknowledge you.

It was only at that point in time when you realised that he was truly a stunning person. You felt your cheeks flare at the thought of such an alluring man smiling at you.

The last thing you learned was that Joshua was a gentleman. He always nodded his head or shot you a smile whenever he saw you; always let you get off the bus before he did; always helped you whenever you dropped something from your hands after a long day. It was the subtle things that made you want to break out of your comfort zone and strike a conversation with him, but you never found the confidence to do so. Whenever you wanted to open your mouth to greet him good morning on weekends, your fear of socialising would envelope you, effectively removing any resolve you had to converse with your neighbour.

So to say that you were surprised when Joshua approached you when you were collecting your mail one morning was a huge understatement.

It was a lazy Saturday, with nothing much to do other than housework, hence explaining why you were dressed in a pair of FBT shorts and a dark green shirt. You were busy trying to sort out the mail when you heard a soft excuse me that drew the attention away from the white envelopes and colourful flyers in hand.

You prayed that the panic wasn’t too evident on your face when you laid eyes on your very own neighbour, dressed in a white round-neck tee and ripped jeans. He looked even more beautiful up close, wearing casual clothing instead of his usual work uniform. You would’ve complimented him if not for the nervousness bubbling in you.

He seemed to notice that you weren’t able to respond to him, choosing to smile while handing you a long brown envelope. “Here. This is yours. The mailman got the wrong address.”

You took the letter from his hands, examining the letters written in cursive. Sure enough, it had your name written on it. “Thank you, Joshua.”

There was a short pause before the man spoke again. “You know my name?”

Meeting his eyes, you chuckled. “The mailman’s been getting your address wrong for a quite some time now, so I’m always going over to deliver them to their rightful owner,” you explained, the anxiety that had been building up in your chest slowly dissipating when you saw his calm expression. You silently thanked him for being easy to talk to.

Realisation glinted through his pretty eyes. “Ah, I see. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine,” you smiled.

You were sure he was going to say bye and leave, so you turned back to sorting out your cluttered mail. It was only after you were almost done when you realised he was still standing there, looking at you.

Feeling the uneasiness rise again, you glanced up at him. Was he actually a creep? Why was he staying? What did he want from you?

Joshua fiddled with his hands as he tried to muster up the courage to ask you what he’d been meaning to ask for quite some time now.

“I—uh, I was going to ask if you want to walk home from work on Monday,” Joshua tore his gaze from his hands to look at you. He could see the way you were standing up straight, tense and uncomfortable.

“I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he babbled, afraid of giving off the wrong impression. He watched as you slowly relaxed, the uncertainty leaving your body as you sighed in relief.

You smiled. “I’d love to.”

He let out a breath that he didn’t know he’d been holding. “That’s great.”

You let out a small giggle at his expression. “I’ll see you on Monday, then.”

Joshua smiled his small, charming smile that you were so used to seeing from a comfortable distance away. He began to wave goodbye, slowly walking back to his home.

“See you then, Y/N!”

It was insane how pathetic you were being; slouched on the sofa, wrapped in a thick layer of warm blankets, having take-out from the Chinese restaurant near your place for the millionth time that week. Your mind drew a blank as you stared at the television screen, barely registering anything.

A buzz from your phone signalled you had gotten a new notification, and you frowned, hastily swiping the Snapchat icon away. You were too busy basking in your own misery to entertain any of your friends’ Snaps at the moment.

Your lockscreen seemed to glare at you, now that it was clear of notifications. The time read 21:17 above the smiling picture of you and Seokmin together.

I should probably change this.

Unlocking your phone, you scrolled through your gallery in hopes of finding something aesthetically pleasing to change your wallpaper to. Unfortunately, your gallery was filled with pictures of Seokmin, Seokmin, and more Seokmin.

Another wave of sadness crashed over you as you scrolled through your photos, vividly recalling every single moment you had spent with him. You teared up at the feeling of your heart wrenching, biting your lip hard as you sniffled.

How long more were you going to cry over him? It had already been a week since he ended things with you.

Frustrated, you clawed at your eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears from flowing. Your phone slipped from your grasp, falling onto the floor with a loud thud.

Picking the device up, you sighed at the photo shown on screen. It was a selfie you and Seokmin had taken at the arcade — he’d won an animal plushie from the claw machine and chucked it into your hands, giving it to you with that blinding smile of his.

That blinding smile of his that you wanted to see again.

“Seokmin, I think you can give up now,” you laughed, watching as he hurriedly placed another coin into the coin slot. The buttons on the machine whirred to life, and he moved the joystick. The claw responded, slowly inching towards the right.

“No, I’m gonna get it this time around!” He exclaimed, focusing on the claw as he aligned it above the plush penguin.

You laughed again. “You said that the last round.”

“I promise I’ll get it this time,” he looked up from the controls, giving you a determined look. You only smiled in response, eyebrows raised.

Seokmin turned back to the machine, checking the claw’s position before slamming the blue down button. The claw moved downwards slowly, and the both of you looked at it intensely.

Just as you were sure it was going to miss the poor penguin, the claw closed around the miniature animal, lifting it into the air before dropping it into the hole. The plushie tumbled down before being picked up by a victorious Seokmin.

He grinned at you, making a warm feeling spread through your chest. “I told you I’d get it.”

You feigned annoyance, rolling your eyes. “Sure.”

His grin grew wider, and you were sure that it was way brighter than the sun itself. “Here! This is yours.” He shoved the black and white toy into your hands, making you blink.

“Huh?”

Seokmin scratched the back of his neck, the grin still plastered on his face. “You called it cute earlier, so I thought I’d win it for you.”

There it was; the fuzzy feeling.

You threw yourself onto him, wrapping him in a tight hug. Seokmin let out a surprised oof before hugging you back, chuckling.

“Thank you.”

You locked your phone, snapping out from your daze by tucking it under one of the blankets. It was a never-ending cycle; you’d come back home feeling upset for no good reason, sit on the couch while yearning for Seokmin’s arms around you, replaying memories, good and bad, in your head. Things like first date, first kiss, first fight; it was like you were a teenager all over again.

Dragging yourself off the couch, you headed to dump your now empty take-out container in the basin. You missed trying to cook with him; washing the dishes and splashing water on each other while giggling your heads off. You missed the cuddles that eased your stressed away; you missed the fleeting kisses he would give you as you drifted off to sleep, bundled between his strong arms.

I can’t do this.

You let out a frustrated groan, brisk walking towards the coat rack.

He’s everywhere.

Throwing your winter coat on, you grabbed the keys and left the house, wanting to go anywhere, anywhere at all; as long as it was away from home, away from him.

You kicked the snow, wanting to slap yourself.

Your feet had unconsciously taken you to the park where everything started; where you mustered the courage to tell him, where he first asked you to be his.

This is definitely away.

The trees were bare, casting thin shadows on the snowy ground underneath the faint light from street lamps. You trudged towards the swings, choking up at the memories that continued replaying in your mind, the stop button nowhere to be found.

You sat on the seat, swinging yourself back and forth slowly.

Winters were never cold — not for you, anyway. Not with the sun by your side almost all the time.

Now that your sun was gone, it was freezing.

In your trance, you hadn’t heard the footsteps that grew louder with each passing second. You continued to swing back and forth, back and forth, gazing at the white-covered ground before you.

“Y/N?” Your breath caught at the sound of your name. Or rather, at the person who called your name.

You looked up, trying to push away all the emotions that were crashing back to you, like waves on a sandy beach.

“Hey, Seokmin.”

The man looked at you with wide eyes, following your figure as you continued to swing back and forth.

There was a few moments of silence as Seokmin regained his composure and sat on the swing next to yours.

“Did you come here because you missed me?” He asked jokingly, as if everything was okay again.

Your heart picked up pace, and you gave up on trying to push your emotions away. “Maybe,” you whispered, avoiding eye contact. You caught him turning his head to look at you.

Another silence fell over the two of you. This time, however, the atmosphere was tense. It was hard to breathe.

He opened his mouth to speak after what felt like years of silence. “I was wrong, you know.”

“About what?” Your voice was still a whisper. You didn’t trust yourself to speak any louder than that; you couldn’t risk breaking down again, in front of him.

“Not loving you anymore.”

The air grew thinner. Your stomach tied itself into knots as tears threatened to fall.

“Then why did you-“

“I felt like I was hurting you,” now his voice was in a whisper. “I’m always busy with work and all, and I could never make any time for you. And we kept getting into fights because of it; I hate fighting with you, you know that.

“So I thought if I ended things with you it’ll make things easier for the both of us. You won’t have to worry about me, I won’t have to worry about you.”

Your chest tightened as Seokmin continued, laughing bitterly. “If anything, it made things harder.”

“You’re such an idiot.” You spluttered, not bothering to hold back. “That’s such a bullshit reason for a break up.”

He reached over to touch your hand on the chains of the swing, but you jerked away. You regretted it immediately after, watching him frown as he slowly retreated his hand.

“This whole time I’ve been beating myself up over it, thinking that the reason we ended things was because of me. Because of that stupid thing I said that day. Because of my stupid mouth that can’t seem to shut up and only knows how to hurt others.” You rambled, biting your lip. “And now you’re telling me this?”

“I know I’m a jerk, Y/N,” Seokmin retorted, fiddling with his jacket zipper. “I know you probably hate me for making you so miserable but — I miss you. I’ve been doing nothing but looking back at all the memories we created together and I miss spending time with you; I miss making you smile.”

You swore your heart skipped a beat at his words. Falling silent, you stopped swinging to play with the material of your coat. “I miss you, too,” you breathed, and you could feel the relief spreading through his body from next to you.

Seokmin tried leaning towards you again, monitoring your reaction. You gulped when he placed his hands over yours, the knots in your stomach tightening.

“Can we start over?”

Slowly, he intertwined his fingers with yours, ears perked for an answer. But you kept silent and unmoving, hiding your face from his.

“I promise I’ll treat you better.”

You smiled when you realised he’d said the same thing under his breath years ago, when you told him your boyfriend at that time was treating you well. He was sure you hadn’t heard it, but the comment made your heart leap when it shouldn’t have.

It was exactly the same. You’d like to think that you got wiser as you grew older, but your heart seemed to stay unchanged. Screaming for this boy, this man, right next to you, even after he had done unimaginable things to it.