Reasons why the Svanaclaw chapter wasn’t as good as it could have been
It all starts with Leona, not that his character is flimsy or bad but I don’t think the writer handled him properly.
The plot seems patched up.
Leona proves in literally every chapter but his own that he’s really smart. He’s the first one to notice Grim eating the weird black shit is bad, he’s quick at thinking and able to do something good while still benefit from it (helping the dumbass group with azul, helping jack from being ganged up on and beat up etch). The only thing he lacks is motivation and that’s because he’s already half given up hope.
He’s also very likely projecting Farena onto Malleus. Its not much about Malleus is soo much better than him he’s intimidating but that Malleus absolutely wrecking Svanaclaw singlehandedly every spelldrive competition despite how hard he works and how many times he tries reminds him of how utterly useless all his efforts to be king of sunset savana ends up.
No matter all his hard work, his ability and his smarts were he just didn’t win, he won’t become king.
Putting that aside Leona’s ‘plan’ in the 2nd chapter is very... juvenile.
It doesn’t match up with the rest of his intelligence.
If every dorm but svanaclaw had incidents with their players then obviously svanaclaw would be the biggest suspect and yet in the chapter every five seconds they’re like OHHH make sure there is NOoooooooooo evidence.
Also if Malleus is the only reason Svanaclaw loses why are they taking out people from other dorms? Why didn’t they take out people from Diasmonia? Why not just directly target Malleus? I get that he’s really strong and it would be super hard but it just seems like a waste of time to attack players from literally every dorm but the dorm that is kicking everyone’s ass.
Not only that but if u can’t beat him in spelldrive with your own crazy magic what makes u think a stampede will kill him? That and also Leona’s freak out was so iffy and awkward to me. He just seemed like an asshole especially with the choking his dorm mates and he didn’t even over blot yet.
I think that the writer was lazy took very direct plot points from the lion king slapped it on and called it a day.
If you wanted the story to be more memorable or believable try this, Leona seeing some kind of news article talking about what kind of king Farena is, Leona’s family urging him to talk more to them, everyone talking about how Malleus is going to win the tournament in a landslide with very little hope for everyone else, jack talking about how leona used to be so cool in spelldrive.
You build up Leona’s stress to the point that he’ll start to think that that stupid plan i mentioned might just work because he’s gotten to the point of being desperate. If he might win the spelldrive competition against Malleus Draconia maybe he still has a shot at being king. maybe it isn’t hopeless after all.
you know what’s better than making him overblot before the competition? making him overblot when Diasmonia wins even if he tried dirty tactics.
because then ALL of his efforts fall down, his practices at spell drive, how smart he is, how strong he is, and even with him playing dirty. He still lost and that’s what will make him lose it.
This is more authentic and far more in-character than what we got in twisted wonderland.
because Leona is (as I said), really smart and I believe that he’ll only do something stupid if he’s desperate.
So make him desperate.
so like ya know twisted wonderland writers why’d you do him so bad?
