#superqueero

caraconnscomedy So proud of @stephinteevee AKA "superhero to the gays" AKA My Queen and the whole #carmillamovie team who rocked it at #fanexpocanada2017 It's been so exciting, inspiring and fun to witness this movie come together and watch this incredible group of SMART, DEDICATED, FUNNY, KIND and TALENTED SUPERSTARS work their asses off to put it all together. What a bunch of BAD ASS OG FEMINIST ICONS. (Special shout out to @piccadillyxo for their bad ass lego figure gift)

A crowded subway car was one of the most nerve wracking environments for Jamie. Surrounded by an abundance of strangers, with only intermittent moments where escape is possible. Jamie still had a level of nervousness whenever they walked out of the house and must once again enter the public space. Where it was once easy to go out with a cut and color that turned heads, finally living their truth made Jamie less comfortable.

Jamie was relieved to arrive at home. After flinging a backpack into the corner of the room, Jamie lay in bed, breathing deeply. The temptation to read the minds of those encountered during life was great. However, such power had to be wielded responsibly both for the sake of the public and Jamie’s mental health.

Finally, after four months, Jamie was finally gaining control over their power. The thoughts of random people did not invade Jamie’s mental space. Control granted them the ability to selectively listen or block out invasive thoughts. Jamie was also careful not to use the power to invade the privacy of others. It was a daily struggle to balance control, desire, sanity, and curiosity.

“Dishes?” Laura cried out from the living room.

“I literally just walked in. I was in a rush this morning. I’m sorry. I’ll get to the in a few minutes,” Jamie shouted back.

After another late day of spreadsheets and balances, Jamie trudged to the kitchen and got to work washing the dishes and to avoid being an inconvenience to the roommate.

“Well, at least now I can cook,” Jamie thought.

After a quick survey of the cabinets, fridge, and freezer Jamie realized it was a fruitless effort. After rifling through their wallet and finding a few spare bills, Jamie started out the door to find some food. Not quite feeling up to eating yet, Jamie stopped by a bench at the edge of Prospect Park, watching joggers and bikers circle on the perimeter roads.

Jamie noticed the occasional double take from a jogger directed toward them. With an exasperated sigh, Jamie leaned back on the bench resting an arm on the backing. Distracted by the sunset and squirrels running up and down the trunk of a nearby tree, Jamie was startled when a cold, wet nose brushed against their exposed heel.

Jamie turned around and saw a startled dog retreated into the foliage.

“I’m sorry, buddy. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Jamie held out a hand and the dog slowly re-emerged.

“Hey there. I know you didn’t mean to scare me. I’m just… on edge lately.”

The dog tilted its head to the left. Staring into Jamie’s eyes as they talked.

“Look at you. Are you lost out here in the park?”

This was met with a head tilt to the right.

“Aren’t you the sweetest? You just see me as me. No pretention. No judgement.”

The dog laid its right paw on Jamie’s shoe.

“Well, aren’t you a peculiar little fella? I’d almost think you understood me.”

The dog walked directly in front of Jamie and making direct eye contact, and let out a quiet “yip”.

Jamie stared down at the pup and bent down. His tail started to wag and Jamie reached for him. Jamie place the pup on their lap facing out towards the park. The dog instead turned around and looked at Jamie. He began to nuzzle and push Jamie’s left arm.

This struck Jamie as unusual. Jamie did not generally believe that animals were incredibly smart. After months of being able to read minds, they were not able to ever decipher a clear thought. But something felt different right now. With a newfound curiosity, Jamie opened their mind.

“Hey. Hi. Hello? No? I should have figured you would not be any different,” Jamie heard.

Jamie looked incredibly confused down at the fur ball in their lap.

“Wait. Are you...? Can you… Can you hear me?” the dog thought towards Jamie.

“No. No way,” Jamie said aloud. A few joggers’ heads turned, but immediately went back to their running.

“Wait. You can. You do hear me. NOOOOO WAAAAAYYYYY!” thought the dog. “This is insane. You have no idea. I mean, I can communicate with the other dogs, but they never really say much. And humans can never understand me. Rough language barrier.”

“Wow. This is incredible. I’ve never heard thoughts from any animal that wasn’t human. Even infants are difficult. How is this possible?”

“You tell me. Four months ago, I went from blissfully unaware and the unadulterated joy of dog life, then overnight I’m forming complex thoughts and have no one to express them to. Speaking of how it’s possible, I think it’s your turn to spill some beans. Also, I haven’t eaten yet today. Would you mind?”

“Ummm. Not at all. Come with me and I’ll grab us something to eat.” Jamie said. “It’s definitely not normal. Around the same time, four months ago, I started being able to hear other peoples’ thoughts. But just people. Well, until now.”

“Wow. You’re super special just like me. I’m glad I found you, friend.”

“I’m Jamie.”

“Oh. Fun. Ummm… I don’t really have a name. After I started becoming aware of what a name was, I was just with my mother. And whenever I barked to try to communicate she just barked back at me. Kind of like an echo.”

“Well, I think that’s a good place to start. Mind if I call you Echo?”

“If I can get that food, call me whatever you want.”

“Where are you staying?”

“Park. It’s not great, but after I was weaned and my mom and the rest of my litter were caught, I’ve been riding solo. Just watching the people in the park.”

“Would you want to come home with me? My apartment allows small dogs. I just need to check with my roommate. There’s also some paperwork I’s sure, but we can figure that out. Now let’s get you something to eat and some water.”

Jamie pulled out a cell phone.

“Ummm… Laura. We need to talk. How would you feel about a dog?”

John sprawled out on Blake’s bed as he waited for the oddly familiar stranger to return from the bathroom. Both men were filled with excitement. Not only did the find someone whom they deeply connected with, but also shared a very similar secret. It was unknown to the pair the extent of the transformations that had happened world wide, but at this moment they found each other and no longer felt alone. Despite knowing very little about each other, Blake and John could not have felt more comfortable.

Blake walked back into the bedroom, and crawled under the covers and leaned against the headboard. John remained at the foot of the bed.

“It’s cool. I just want to be comfortable and chat. You do what you need to do,” Blake said. “Do you mind doing it again?”

John stood at the foot of the bed. “I’ll try. I’ve never had control of it. It’s more of a reaction than a conscious effort.”

Blake rose from the bed and placed his arms around John’s neck. “Don’t worry about it. No pressure. I’m just very curious.” Blake placed a quick peck on John’s lips and turned to walk to the bed. Before he could take a second step, John had become a human crystal.

“Sorry. I’m just nervous,” John said.

“Do you mind?” Blake asked holding the hem of John’s shirt.

“Go ahead, Blake”.

He slowly pulled John’s shirt over his head revealing a, literally, rock hard body. A body that looked like it was literally carved out of a magnificent gemstone. A body that rivaled the classic Greek and Roman sculptures, enhances by the clarity and sheen of Blake’s body.

John pushed Blake backwards onto the bed, admiring his unusual form. As he moved toward the belt, Blake’s hand shot southward.

“Sorry. I’m not ready,” Blake whimpered.

“It’s cool. Sorry if I pushed you too far. Want me to show you mine?”

Blake propped himself up on his elbows as John rose to his knees, throwing his shirt to the floor.

“What do you want to see?”

Twenty minutes passed and John’s body shifted from massive, hairy bear to a slim pocket otter, to a world class professional athlete.

“Do you mind just looking like yourself?” Blake asked.

John’s eyes began to tear up as his body slowly reverted to normal form. Waves of comfort and relief crashed over him as he collapsed onto the bed. While he was distracted by John’s metamorphosis, Blake, feeling increasingly at ease, also slowly returned to his natural state. Tears filled John’s eyes as Blake pulled him closer and nestled him on his chest.

Blake felt John’s body heaving as he let feelings of insecurity and anxiety flow through his tears. Felling oddly at ease and open, Blake was able to relax and hold him.

A panicked John stirred, frantically grabbing at his clothes and making a move for the door. Blake grabbed his hand, “You don’t have to go”.

It was precisely 6:00 when John entered the park to start looking for his date. He walked halfway through the park and immediately recognized Blake from his dating profile photo.

Blake looked up from a pair of squirrels that were chasing each other up and down the trunk of a large oak. He saw John approaching, unsure whether his date would turn back.

Blake and John locked eyes. Blake gave a knowing nod, his heart in the deep recesses of his stomach. The two men met with an embrace and proceeded to make their way to a quiet bar one avenue west.

Away went the phones and the world faded away save a few interruptions by the bartender to get John and Blake’s drinks.

John and Blake made small talk, talking about everything and nothing. After a few drinks, John was lost completely in Blake’s eyes. The moved to the back of the bar and grabbed a couch. John, hesitant to make physical contact, hovered his arm on the back of the sofa.  Time passed in a flash, and John and Blake reluctantly walked outside dreading the return to their normal lives.

They walked back to the subway, standing at a surprisingly empty street corner. Blake looked deep into John’s eyes and immediately both men grew extremely nervous. John was afraid to let his guard down, but he had such an amazing time. Blake was out of his head long enough that he wasn’t concerned with what John thought about his hair, his nose, or his clothing. The world once again faded away as John leaned forward for a kiss. Blake, nervous to admit his attraction, ultimately gave in. After a few seconds of an amazing, connected kiss, John panicked.

Blake’s eyes shot open when suddenly the man he was kissing was gone and in its place, was a crystal form that resembled John. John was frozen in fear.

“Blake, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m just going to go. This was a mistake. Just forget tonight ever happened,” he said with tears in his eyes.

Blake grabbed John’s hand and held him tight. Staring deeply into his eyes. “It’s fine. You’re not alone.”

John watched as Blake slowly started to fade away. His appearance shifting and changing until John was staring back at what was essentially his reflection.

John was on his third mimosa, thankfully bottomless, surrounded by family. His mother knew that John was gay, but he was also surrounded by relatives that he was clueless as to what level of knowledge they had with his intimate personal life. While enjoying some casual brunch discussions, the topic of conversation turned in a way that made John feel sick to his stomach. He stopped listening in a state of shock for a few seconds, his skin went pale and clammy.

“She’s really a failure as I parent,” he heard from one of the female voices around the table, “I mean, two gay children. How awful.”

John sat silently and drank the most recent mimosa refill. He started casually looking around the restaurant for anything; a waiter, something to spark a new topic of conversation, an escape route. After the conversation, had seemingly moved on, John excused himself from the table and headed for the bathroom. His mother saw him get up, and decided to follow shortly to check on how he was feeling.

John opened the door to the restroom, single occupancy, and just sat on the closed toilet, breathing deeply. He had prepared on casually dropping his latest date and using a masculine pronoun to see how the reaction went over, but he was not ready for what he heard.

“How can I be sure they will still love me or accept me? Every time I see them I will just play that conversation back in my head. I know that these thoughts will be on their minds with every conversation we have. I need to get out,” John thought.

He was luckily close enough to his hotel room, which he had booked to avoid relying on any family members in case things went horribly wrong, that he could make it back and say he wasn’t feeling well. Avoid the whole family portion of his vacation. He knew that he would have to see his family many more times if he didn’t make a choice to leave. He started unlocking the door to make his escape and saw his mother standing outside of the door.

“John, I know that was hard to hear. I am here to talk with you if you need it,” his mother said.

“I’m fine, Mom. I’m just feeling a little ill. Too much champagne.”

“Sweetie, we both know you can handle more than that. Just come out and we can talk in the car.”

“No. Really, Mom. I’m fine. Just go back to the table. I’ll talk to you later.”

“You can talk to me whenev…”

“GO!” John shouted, “just go.”

John started feeling stiffness all over his body. He looked down and his hands were turning blue. John ran over to the sink, and turning on the faucet began to splash water in his face.

“This can’t be happening. I’m just overreacting and my mind is playing tricks on me.”

John looked up to the mirror and noticed that his skin had become a solid sheet of topaz, tanzanite, and turquoise. John ran back to the door and relocked the deadbolt. He took off his shirt and pants and stared at and ran his hand over his body. He leaned against the wall and sank to the floor. All he heard was his back scratching against the porcelain tile.