#superpersonal

Ever see the ending of La La Land? That was my night last night...

Happens every year or two I see him. We're long distance friends now, and I recover quicker than I used to, but it still shakes me every time.

Nothing sexual, just talking about life, so glad to have the opportunity to see each other once again, having open honest conversation, too honest to be over the phone, and when there's nothing left to say, just looking into each others eyes flooded by mixed feelings of happiness and regret. When all is said and done, then praying together before we go our separate ways back to the lives that have become our realities, fully knowing that it will likely be another 18 months before we talk again.

Maybe it's absence that makes the heart grow fonder, maybe it's an idealistic crush. Maybe if things were different, the fondness would wear thin and we'd both realize that we're no better than any other guy. Maybe...

Y estoy segura que seré yo quien termine con mi propia vida, es cuestión de tiempo.

Quizás no lo haga hoy, ni en un mes, ni en un año, quizás sea en 10, en 30, en 40, en media hora, no lo sé.

Sometimes I read stuff to help my self understand the pain

Other time i can't feel it coming and it's there and I can't do anything.

When I have the capacity to notice that I'm in pain, I have much control over my action.

I also ask myself : What is happening? How strong is this emotion? Do I really feel this ? I talk a lot to my self

When I can make comparison with my past self and now, I can see the difference

I'm sorry for my self, the little girl that always hide her face over her mum lap.

I will further continue to investigate all this feeling even if sometimes I forget how to do it.

The love theme in "The Princess Bride" (especially when the lyrics come in during the credits) always makes me cry because that's what my mom walked down the aisle to when she married my dad....