#super sober

My stomach hurts, my breath shortens, my eyes began to water and my head throbs a little every time I think about this incoming school year. I have so much pressure on myself because I want more. I know I’m capable of more and I just don’t wanna disappoint anyone, but most importantly, I don’t wanna disappoint myself. I’ve just worked so hard and yet I still feel like I’m nowhere. I wish I wasn’t my biggest and worst critic. I wish I was a good person to myself. I wish I thought I was enough all the time. Yes, I wish a fuckin lot of things. Self validation is hard when you feel like that same naive 10th grader who thought love was words and it was enough. I’ve got to grow up and let grudges go. Grudges have done nothing positive for my optimism unless you count seeing the world for what it really is, a piece of shit with a cold beating heart only interested in pleasing itself first.