#super important.

honestly sometimes i really fucking hate this website. this used to be where i went to post about the things hurting me because i didn’t have anyone else, and i trusted you guys to make me feel better, and now it’s exactly the opposite. i don’t really have anyone here anymore and im perfectly okay with that because the people i have in real life are my everything. i can’t even fucking come on here and post about a girl i like because you guys have to stick your fucking noses in. yes, okay, i know that she’s straight. i know that she isn’t interested in me, but let a girl fucking live, okay? it’s not her that is hurting me. in fact, she makes me so happy i feel like i can actually breathe again and that everything’s gonna be okay. it’s the thought that this damn “straight girl with a boyfriend” thing keeps happening to me, and i don’t know how to stop it. so let me post about someone who makes me feel like i’m on top of a fucking rainbow for a little if it makes me feel better. none of you have any right to tell me what i need to be doing for my mental health. from now on, just stay the fuck out of my problems. i’m going to post about things that make me upset and when i do, all i want is an ask saying you’re sending your love or something. i don’t need or want you to tell me how to deal with it unless i directly ask. so stop, okay, stop. let me live the way i want to live, and let me enjoy this stupid website with it’s dumb puns and crappy vines that i love so much. i just want to blog. not be told how to live my life.

on another, more important note, i stopped making youtube videos (which i didn’t even really STOP and was going to make a damn post about it) because i lost the motivation. okay, things in my life fucking suck right now, and you don’t even know the half of it. so don’t you dare get on my case because i’ve been lacking uploading videos. i am not a professional youtuber. i do not make money from it, and i do it simply for pleasure. i do it because i know it makes you happy, but lately i just can’t. okay, i can’t. i care about you all and yeah, sometimes my stupid little videos make you smile, but face it, they don’t always. they almost never do. they’re low quality because i’m fucking hurting inside, and i need time to get back to me. so if it’s alright with you, i’m going to be posting not on a schedule, just whenever i get an idea or feel like making a video, whenever that may be. if i get asks still on wednesdays, i will just answer them via tumblr, not in a video. there are plenty of other people on youtube to watch, and i know i will not be missed. go support people like grace, hannah, mamrie, colleen, jenna, tyler, troye, etc. i was going to post this as a formal thing, not as part of a furious rant, but it needed to be said, so here it is.

Because it seems to be the night for it.