#sunspared

the truth is –– jyn can't remember the number. only some of their faces haunt her dreams but even then, they're blurred, formless shapes without names or defining expressions. ( it's her family members, her dead loved ones that hang over her, always in sharp detail. ) the exact number is undoubtedly higher than any prediction she could make ; with the partisans especially, even when she'd tried to avoid civilian casualties, her explosions almost always caught innocents in the crossfire. the amount of lives she's ruined, of families she's destroyed with one simple action. . .if she thinks about it too long it feels as if she's drowning, weighed down by the actions of her past. for that reason, it all gets shoved deep into the cave in her mind, the hatch closed as tight as she can get it.

overdue silly things for @sunspared

if she hadn't grown used to the thick scent of debauchery and, well, just about every ghastly smell under the lunar's watch, she would have just about passed out the moment she crossed the threshold. an elusive, obscure, and tantalizing gentlemen's club ... if not for its laughable existence to give validation for the scum of the barrel, she would find more amusement in it. it takes every bit strength mustered within her to not pick at the rat's fur resting upon her lips. every breath she made, every word shaped by her lips — it tickled. “ saints. ” she heaves under her breath, exasperated as she makes it through a group of men cackling about some saintsforsaken topic that the general public would find atrocious. the heartrender had done well in keeping wandering eyes off of the real infiltrator of the night : the wraith, who lurks in the shadows and crevices of unsuspecting patrons. from what she could recall, it had just hit the second bell and they were running out of time — nina could only stall for so long.

find the target and get out. that was the plan. only the target had yet to show up and it forced them to resort to other means of digging. and as she stands before the host barking up a shallow attempt of a conversation, she catches a glimpse of a newcomer and aggressively whips her head in their direction for inej. less than subtle, and even lesser than subtle was her makeshift mustache pathetically falling from her face and taking its sweet time as it floats through the air. viridescents widen as she meets inej's gaze and shouts, “ stadwatch ! ”

a decade ago, jyn would have opened her palms and let flames erupt from her hands without a second thought. now, however, her only reaction is a small twitch of her fingers, unseen in the darkness around them. it would be an easy fix but it's been years since she'd last summoned her fire ; her life as the partisan's inferni had died the same day she'd been left behind by people she'd considered family. ( saw had promised her he'd come back. she waited for days until she finally realized he'd lied. )

camila liked to believe that she was a forgiving woman.   harbouring grudges did no good when the moment had already passed and the harm had been done.    she understood that most people didn’t mean to hurt,    most people meant well,   and billy was no exception.   she wouldn’t have married him if she thought otherwise.    but there were some wounds that took their time to heal and her anger was still fresh.    it seeped out of her with each flare of her nostrils and caused her shoulders to shake with a heavy exhale.    if she was honest with herself,   she wasn’t sure if she could ever truly forgive billy for what he had done.   to her,   to julia,   to their family.    but camila had agreed she’d make peace with that the moment she had let him come back into their lives.    ❝   you’re right,   i do.   ❞   her eyes drew to where her daughter’s head rested against the crook of his shoulder.    ❝    and i won’t be thanking you for that,    it’s the least you could do.   ❞    despite the harsh reality of her words,   there was no malice in her tone.   she spoke evenly and calmly,   in the soothing way she always did.   camila had set her boundaries and expectations and she intended to be crystal clear with billy about them.