i thought i’d have my head swimming with events of the movie until i watched the next movie and my mind moved onto that.

that’s not happening.

all i can think about is the fic cascades by orange_crushed on ao3

i read this fic 8 months ago. 8 months. and it took my breath away.

i watched catfa today and it’s the only thing on my mind, taking my breath away. i plan on rereading it as soon as i can because i want to feel my breath being stolen away the same way all over again.

it’s not that i dont want to ruin anything from the plot of the fic, it’s that words wouldn’t ever be enough to describe what this fic did to me, so i am begging you to experience it first hand.

it’s a stucky fic but. it’s. so real, so deep, so intense. i remember reading the whole 152k thing in like 2 things.

please please please do yourself a favor and let yourself experience it.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Uni AU (kind of)

summary: it’s Y/N’s first snow and Bucky falls in love watching her fall in love with the snow.

word count: 1425

note: i saw my first snow exactly one week ago and had to document it somehow, somewhat based on my situation (basically exactly what i was doing) except instead of a bucky being there it was a friend of mine and definitely no romantic undertone lmao. it’s also currently snowing for the second time today, on the exact same day of the week, so you’ve got a happy giddy girl on y’all’s hands right now.

prompt: first snow as a concept and the vibes of christmas playlists that i’ve been listening to non-stop

beta(s): thank you to these beautiful peeps for taking the time to look this over for me ( @hawkbucks and @irndad ) and @festivebucky in specfic, if it weren’t for her this would’ve stayed half of an unfinished fic.

masterlist

It was a normal Wednesday. Generally, she hated Wednesday’s because she had lectures for both of the subjects she hated most, so she woke up in an already somber mood, dragging herself to class.

That said, she obviously was not expecting to witness her first snow ever that day. To be fair, it was colder than it had been the last few days, and really rainy all morning; the roads so wet they were slippery, the paths very colorful with all the wet leaves falling and decorating them, and the trees heavy with the water descending from the beautiful gloomy skies above.

She was sitting in the common area at university with Bucky and a couple other friends. One wall was covered with a window, but there was no contrast to actually see anything falling from the sky because it was so white. Conveniently, she had been sitting on the side of the table where she could glance at the window through the open door in the next room, the one facing the still mostly green trees.

She was preoccupied at the time, though, with explaining some chemistry to Bucky because she saw him struggling with a confusing concept. She was as focused on her explanation as Bucky was on how beautiful she looked explaining to him (obviously barely catching her words in time before she turned her quizzical gaze on him to make sure he was understanding).

listen; im dying at this concept.

disclaimer: this is the first time i do a full winteriron thing, pls excuse any mischaracterization im sorry.

see, bucky obviously doesn't understand the whole meaning, but he does know a few words because he'd searched them up from hearing tony say them so much (for example: the word ass, even before they got together, tony would just turn to natasha - who obviously knows several languages - with a near constipated look on his face, and whimper like he's in actual pain, speaking to her in italian. turns out that's all because he was talking about and pining after buckys very impressive apple)

along the course of their relationship, it turns into dirty talk - each in their own respective language - and so the words bucky finds sound most seductive or alluring to him he looks up.

now. one day tony is so angry, having held onto his lid for so long that it just reaches the limit with him and it just explodes. in the form of almost-tearing-his-hair-out ranting style, red in the face, speaking in rapid-fire italian which somehow sounds even sexier than when he's trying to be seductive how in the fuck. he's obviously bound to slip in a few or several curse words at the villain of the week in there right? tony is angry enough to not be guarding what he's saying, and so subconsciously uses one of the very few words that bucky knows (ass), at least a few times, among other unspeakable things we're not about to mention. and this word is one he's heard many many times under very different circumstances.

saying that this was an inappropriate boner was an understatement, to say the least. the problem was, they were in the middle of a debriefing after a mission gone awry and clint being severely injured. and we all know tony is a mother hen, so he's mad at everything - including himself and even the fly currently buzzing at his ear. he most definitely should not be popping a boner oF aLl ThInGs right now.

so he just sits there for ten whole minutes wallowing in mortification and lust because he can't fuckin help it okay, his boyfriend is sexy and his body agrees, as unfortunate as the timing is. and attempts to devise a plan to remove himself from this very sticky situation. which doesn't work because in every single one of the plans he forms and promptly discards in his mind; he can't find a single way to hide his currently very active libido. so he just accepts his fate - all red in the face from embarrassment - clears his throat to excuse himself, gets up from his seat at the back of the fucking room who put him there and why, and quietly but very awkwardly making his way out of the room while sticking to the whole entire wall at the side of the room. all the while feeling the entire teams eyes trained on him.

when he reaches the front of the room, tony spares him a quick glance at first, still immersed in his ranting and self-blame. but when he catches the unusual redness on the highly trained winter soldier's face and the awkward way he was walking, it dawned on him. like a huge oh. rushing out of his lungs stemming right from the interested twitch that happens in his pants. instead, the adrenaline coursing through him turns from anger straight into excitement and lust. which has tony dashing out the door right behind bucky and the whole team sitting in the meeting room just looking at each other exasperatedly because oh my god they are such useless gays can we get on with this meeting so we can go sleep please?

She’s a pretty social person, she’d tell you so if you asked her yourself. Come at her with spontaneous spur-of-the-moment plans and she’s completely down for it - whatever the plan is, she’ll accompany you ‘til the very end of it. She likes surrounding herself with her friends, she’ll make plans and inviyte them to join her just because she wants to properly hang out with them. She likes getting to know people, prefers it over talking about herself actually.

Point is, she doesn’t isolates herself unless something’s going on. And right now, it seems like there is something going on.

No one’s seen her all day, except for lunch, and even then she seemed a bit too silent than what they’ve recently gotten used to of her openness and mostly positive/affectionate energy. She didn’t try to make plans with anyone like she’d been trying to lately, either. Turned down an offer of getting off of campus when offered, too. So something was definitely up.

If you came to ask her, she’d have told you that she’s just in a mood and didnt wanna put a damper on anyone else. That was somewhat true.

The mood isn’t just any mood though. It’s one that stems from loneliness and longing for something that doesn’t exist - and to the extent of her knowledge, never will. She kept claiming that Valentine’s usually does that to her, called them the ‘valentines blues’ and moved on from the topic without actually delving into it. Maybe she was genuinely trying to believe that herself too.

But she stopped trying to do that when valentines passed and the hollow feeling carving itself inside of her chest only grew heavier without any prompting. So, she kept to herself, didn’t leave her dorm and generally avoided interaction because she didn’t want anyone to notice something was up and to question her about it.

Instead of distracting herself (which is what she did every year if she let herself really think about it), she did the opposite of that this time. She wallowed in the empty lonely feeling, feeding it by listening to the quiet sad kind of music you turn on when you’re feeling especially mellow, she spent hours on tumblr browsing through grunge/intimate blogs, quotes, pictures of people cuddling, things of that sort. She could’ve journalled to unburden herself even if just for a little, but she was scared of what she would uncover if she let herself dig inside her own heart.

Little did she know, though, that there was somebody out there for her. Somebody going through the exact same things and feelings she was.

Somebody waiting to meet her, somebody longing for her as much as she for him, somebody imagining being so softly intimate with her it made his heart ache the same way hers did, somebody who dreamt of caressing her, cuddling her, spooning her, tracing the outlines of her features, ghosting his arms over her limbs and torso and hips, settling his hands under the hem of her shirt and drawing soft patterns on the soft skin of her back hips stomach and then tracing a line back to her arms and watching the goosebumps appear on them as she shivered at the intimacy and meaning of the movements of his hands on her.

Somebody dreaming of that first touch between them, the first spark when lips touched lips. Somebody imagining the sounds of her sighs against his lips, wondering if she would moan or whine for his touch if he paused to catch his breath from being overwhelmed, hoping she would go as pliant vulnerable and weak as he would at the action of the two of them kissing.

Somebody who mused if she would allow that simple first kiss to develop into the softest most innocent yet completely fulfilling make-out session, the one that both of them both didn’t know they were craving until they met.

Somebody was out there daydreaming about doing the most mundane of things with her: cuddling her on soft lazy days when they both felt like they were moving through syrup, grocery shopping with her and discovering her little quirks and nitpicks over choosing food and domestic items, stopping at drive-bys and eating their take-out at random locations in the car immersed in the everything/nothing kind of conversations their souls had been craving their whole lives.

She didn’t know that somebody was out there yearning to watch her eyes sparkle with mirth, fill up with tears in sadness just for him to wipe them away before they can fall, shine with mischief when she’s up to something, glow with motivation when inspiration hits her out of nowhere, burn with anger at injustices she encounters.

Somebody who pined to see her in all her moods and states, in all her most vulnerable glory and her most put-together powerful self-confident moments. Somebody who craved to learn her mountains and valleys, both literal and figurative.

Somebody who felt the exact same lonely hollowness at the exact same time and way that she did, the one that wasn’t going to fade away until the moment they were destined to meet each other.

@bigstarkenergy kinda in retaliation to the p personal and deep analyses of your fics that you tag me in, here’s a piece of me i guess

@theboykingsam if we’re on the same page in this them here’s a lil temporary fantasy i guess.