#suicidalprevention

My Check was sorted like $500 So my tips I made at Little Caesars Arena didn’t even reach me. My rent is paid but now I just need a Washer machine and groceries. Just like the song goes “Take Your Time Young, Moma use to say” . The main things I need to do is Wash 🧼 Clothes, Transportation funds, and Groceries to eat. I got hot water and heat. . You can call 📞 me and talk my ear off too : 313 772 3690 FaceTime if you wanna see me. . #SuicidalPrevention / #MentalHealth . Marinate on the Battle in my #WarWithMentalHealth & watch how Allah continue to pull me through. . #CashAppBlessings: send em to $mrwalks #Zelle & #ApplePay : 313 772 3690 . Or stream my videos, I get paid off royalties: https://youtu.be/QYUU4a6c-R0 . . #PS I know imma pull through. Prayer 🙏🏾 works every time (at Little Caesars Arena) https://www.instagram.com/akbar.walks/p/CXV4TU8lTyp/?utm_medium=tumblr

I walked to my mothers room and dug through her dresser found her Pistol and begun to stare at myself in the mirror wondering why I'm even alive and why I should continue to deal with this pain. I then put the pistol up to my head ready to finish it all ,but at some point I begun to think of the way my family would feel if I were to pull this trigger and end it all. This and a music video made by the artist Joyner Lucas about suicide called "I'm Sorry" was what made me put this gun down and continue to fight on. Eventually I ended up meeting three girls with three beautiful souls and they have been such amazing friends to me whenever I felt down and were there to listen to me whenever I'd get sad. They weren't happy with their lives either and dealt with depression but I helped them out in return in order to help them keep fighting on. From March to now I've been talking to them and they are such an important part of my life now. I love each and every single one of them more than they know although they can be frustrating at times. But one of the main things I wanted to get out of this post is that you as a person have a voice and if you feel like ending your life, I want you to know that you aren't alone and that you have a voice. Reach out to others and talk your problems out and do things that you love to do. Another important thing is to live your life for you and only you. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

This is my blog so I feel like I can write my heart out on here. 2017 has been a rough year on me thus far and negativity seems to keep surrounding me with each step that I take. Entering this year everything was perfect I had a job, a beautiful woman in my life who I loved dearly and hoped to marry someday, and my family was stable; I felt like life couldn't get any better than this. One thing I learned about being happy is that at some point the happiness will go away and that's a sad fact of life. About a week into the new year I ended up getting laid off from my job which made seeing my girlfriend a lot harder which saddened me deeply. Reason being is because she went to college in the same state as me but would commute back home to New York at the end of the day. I have no idea how I did it but even without a job I still managed to see her every week at least once and when I didn't see her we would FaceTime. February was such a beautiful month for us nothing but romance and emotion toward one another, happy tears and memorable moments I knew I loved this girl with all my heart and soul. Later in February a new guy she met in school came into the picture and he was a "Friend" of sorts. I trusted her because she had never let me down before and she knew about problems I had with my ex and how I dealt with being in an abusive relationship ,being cheated on 4 times, and also being raped (yes men can get raped too). They begun to hang out sometimes after school and I was alright with it until it got to a point where she would hang out with him more and cancel plans with me to go hang out with him. This begun to upset me and alongside that two weeks prior my uncle passed away so I was dealing with heartache as is. She told me nothing is going down between them and that she only loved me. I tried to trust her but oast experiences let my paranoia get ahold of me and as a result she stopped loving me less and less as the days went on. I wouldn't be able to talk to her on the phone for long and he would be on the phone with her a majority of the time. Knowing this started shattering my heart into pieces. I'd cry myself out almost everyday thinking I did something wrong thinking I was the one making things hard the relationship we had. But it turns out this man came from a wealthier background than I did and would receive money from his parents and would do a lot more memorable things with her. I realized at that moment that all I was to her in the 7-8 months we shared with one another was money. This begun to hurt me even more, and the more I thought about it the more I wouldn't want to be alive anymore. Around late March I cried myself to a point where I told myself I'd end all my pain here and finally be at peace. This was the first time in my 20 years of living that I ever felt suicidal and it was all because I made the mistake of putting my happiness in someone else's pocket.

13 Reasons Why : If you struggle with suicidal ideation or self-harm, or have experienced sexual abuse or assault, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741. For a list of ways to cope with self-harm urges, click here. You can contact the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-4673. #HIMMI #YourMentalIllnessMatters #SuicidePrevention #youareworthy #tellyourstory #yourstoryisntoveryet #StoptheStigma #ldnont #13ReasonsWhy #mentalillnessawareness #mentalhealthawareness #MakeChange #likeus #followme #lndont #ldnent #tootyourownhornproject #Suicidalprevention (at London, Ontario)

Don't worry, I wore blue yesterday. Today I'm wearing purple for suicidal prevention. Right now I'm going through another rough patch with my parents and school, and the effects of Daniel's suicide has shown me how horrible it would be if I attempted anything. Today I tell people who are dealing with depression to think before you act. How would someone feel if they knew you tried this? Is there someone that you can talk to? And I thank @therealjacksepticeye, @therealzombiehatter, @danisnotonfire, @amazingphil, and so many other people for making me want to stay here. Alright, there's today's #colorsfordaniel entry. R.i.p. Daniel Kyre. You were an amazing musician and a nice guy :)