trio of lockscreens pt5 (special)

SUGA's interlude

what would people think if they could see the thoughts circulating your mind? taking up your space and time, pushing aside the good and beautiful and loving, craving attention of their own: a light to be cast on messy. the messy you no one sees. the secrets hidden behind closed doors. the swallowed relief when it’s alright to lose your smile. 

how long is someone supposed to say they can hold on? that the seesaw isn’t terrifying when it gets this high, not when the view’s this nice. but everything comes down eventually, and a crash landing is written into the stars for you, right beside the beautiful galaxies and the euphoria. how can you be expected to kiss the grass beneath your feet, and draw hearts into paved streets when your fingers have clutched stardust and saw its residue left over in the morning? when you swore it was a dream, but the memories were seen by millions, and him, and everyone else in between. 

you told yourself getting higher and higher, seeing your name on billboards, your body on magazine spreads, wouldn’t hurt you. you could handle anything, right? 

until you’re sliding down the back of your front door, thinking about a life without any of this. a life with the stars always out of reach, and feeling content in that reality. a reality where dusty books on shelves, and wind catching your perfume in a spring afternoon, would be enough for you. sharing smiles with strangers, petting dogs on the street. unknown. unbroken. unimagined. 

mysteries aren’t so beautiful beneath a bright light, with all their facets exposed, and truths close enough to consume if one wanted to. 

Do you remember this?🥺