Honestly the hardest thing about the bowl for me is just racism. Just fucking racism. Like sometimes I get so mad cause if I was white y'all? If I was white id be rolling in it. I know this. I'm the fucking shit. I speak three languages (not fluently but I can order dinner and flirt lol). My body is fucking bomb, my makeup is fucking bomb, my personality is fucking bomb. And I honestly had a man tell me I'd never make more than 300/meet because of the color of my skin like fuck you bro! It's not that I don't know that he's wrong. It's just difficult to hear. Or even when they don't say it to see the evidence of it in every move I make. SA is like a graveyard for me I don't even know why I log on. Black men don't even respond to me on SA it's fucking infuriating. It's so difficult because this is the first thing I've been this dedicated to and motivated about in my entire fucking life, and in being held back because I'm black and I'm just so fucking discouraged right now. K that's it sorry