#such serious

The gods interfere with Sisko’s love life

Weyoun hires an army of aliens that speak exclusively in robot fart noises

Kai Winn accidentally sells her soul to the devil

Bashir and O’Brien play with toys

Odo gets an STD

Garak and Kira go on an adventure to teach people how to terrorism

Earth actually gets conquered and it’s mentioned like once and then everyone just forgets about it

Dukat looks for love and fails miserably

Worf snaps Weyoun’s neck for laughs

I’ve been going through all the crime dramas on Netflix, and after pondering the content of them for some time, these are my conclusions:

The world is populated mostly by serial killers and police officers

People who work in law enforcement are usually married to killers and they are clueless about it

In British crime dramas, everyone is suffering from a heart condition. Everyone around them is cluesless about this.

In British crime dramas, everyone is suffering from a debilitating mental condition, but they refuse to seek treatment

CIGARETTES!

There is always a higher ranking officer who will not take the protagonist seriously. Because bosses always make bad decisions and are incapable of trusting their colleagues. FACT.  

CORRUPTION!!!

All male protagonists have teenage daughters that they never see 

All female progatonists have teenage sons that they never see

DIVORCE!!!

Everyone who is not a detective or a serial killer, is a drug addict or a little old lady. 

ALL PETS MUST DIE!!!

Where there’s crime, there’s rain. 

If you’re a homocide detective and you’re investigating a murder, you are only allowed to enter the building where the killer is hiding if you’re alone, off duty, your cellphone has died and it’s in the middle of the night. It’s very important no one knows where you are or what you’re doing. 

All plot twists involve the killer being a woman. Erhmegerd. 

No matter how strong or intelligent the protagonist is, the killer will outsmart them or physically hurt them at some point.