#suburban problems

We asked the detailer if he was able to move because there just isn't enough parking over here to lose 3 spots and while it's totally not the detailer's fault, he's just trying to get paid and I respect that, he was the guy we could talk to. He did end up moving, which we appreciate and thanked him for. But Nat and I are now feeling extremely petty at our neighbor and are playing a game called "what is that poor man finding in that dipshit's car?"

Our ideas so far:

empty cans of skol and a spitter

a mouse (both alive and dead until observed)

6-10 broken cellphone chargers that plug into the cigarette lighter

half a box of cap'n cruch oops! all berries! (this is where the mouse lives or has died, depending)

a pair of underwear with an upsetting stain that isn't obviously body fluids but you can't rule it out

empty bags of takis (the blue ones)

I put up a metal bird feeder. The squirrels knocked it down and rolled it around until all the seeds fell out.

I put up a Squirrel Buster bird feeder with a special mechanism to block the seed trays if a squirrel stands on it.  The squirrels shook the top of the feeder without standing on it, making all the seeds fall out.

I put a big conical squirrel blocker device on the bird feeder pole, and today I looked out the window and saw this.