#subtlenightmare

So, as aligned with real time it was my sister, Tori's birthday. In the dream she received some of the new style of Polly Pockets (( Lately she's been into more childlike things, though we stopped paying with PPs about six+ years ago. This struck me as odd after the dream)). We were both excited so we went to play with the new and old PPs.

The dream transitioned a large line of tables and delicacies- everyone in the neighborhood brought their favorite foods and a giant feast commenced. I ate long past when I was full and dropped Ice cream twice on the floor (I don't think I ever ended up getting to eat an ice cream cone like I wanted to). I was trying all of these new and delicious foods, not thinking for a second what the reason of this feast was.

The day after the feast we were supposed to fight some huge rebel force or something. We sat in the hallways of a section of the tunnel playing monopoly. My friends Gravy and Starfish were there with me. My mother talked and gossiped with the other Ladies from the neighborhood, and all seemed... well.

Everyone was acting kind of like it was some huge party.

Hours before the supposed attack of rebels, I played some arcade games which were plugged into the side of the tunnel, and texted Brandy.

It's like it was hard to form the right words of how I might never see him again. I tried to tell him how I was going to fight this battle in the morning- and even mason a ten year old kid was going to battle.

I thought I was going to die. So we talked for a long while about other things. Something about his brother's wedding, how he wished I would've been there or something... something about something that I can't even remember anymore.

The thing was... I thought I was going to die, but I promised myself tht I wouldn't break his heart. I was afraid to die not because of pain or the end itself- but because I'd leave him behind.

Then, I awoke.

A quick note/analysis:

I realized when I woke up that the huge feast thing was kind of like a last supper, which is something I failed to realize in the dream, but I still had a feeling that I'd die. I don't ever remember there being a single gun or weapon in the tunnel at all. While talking to brandy in the dream, we seemed to avoid the topic after he magically came into knowing of where I was and what was about to happen- you know when a dying person talks about other things other than dying? Kind of like that.

I think what caused this dream was a combination of the subconsciousness of a few playlist songs I usually keep on repeat

If I die young - The Band Perry

Soldiers - Out Of Eden

but, it combined with my fear of breaking Brandy's heart because GOD DAMN I LOVE HIM I DON'T WANT IHM TO BE SAD I Also maybe it sprung from the topic of holding hands- which is what connects If I die young to Brandy's conversations with me.