#subpost?

what i've come up with is; fandom is supposed to be something that is joyful, that brings you joy, that is a refuge from when your outside world goes to shit. Now it doesn't have to be rainbows and puppies all the time, disagreements do happen, but there is a way to disagree with some goddamn manners.

it's sort of bonkers to me that people can hate a character/ship enough to give them a nickname to avoid saying their name but can't stop talking about them? If I don't like something that badly in fandom (which is stupidly rare bc its fiction) I just don't talk about it beyond a politely worded 'no thanks not for me'. Example: The Galadriel/Halbrand(Sauron) ship in ROP. I filtered every tag for that ship because it's a giant hell no for me, but I've maybe talked about it enough times to count on one hand, including this one. Buddie is another example, I'm super ambivalent about it. I just don't see it and I've watched alllllll of 9-1-1 multiple times, once even trying to see the Buddie if it all. And still got nadda, big fat goose egg, nothing and barely even talk about it.

I never thought a name could taste so foul. And then you came along and ruined my best friend and here we are. I say your name, and it’s like I swallowed acid. Thank you for fucking up my favorite human being. Thank you for the panic attacks, thank you for the drunken phone calls, thank you for the countless hours spent talking him down. I hope karma kicks your ass.

I know you’ve gotten such great opportunities. New York City for three months is fucking prestigious. I hope it rains on your first day. I hope you’re running late to your internship and a taxi runs by and splashes dirty city water on your dress. I hope your sandwich isn’t cooked all the way through. I hope you forget your keys in downtown manhattan at the office when you live in queens.

I hope your entire three months is filled with slight inconveniences. 

“But isn’t equal revenge better?”

No fuck you. I would never wish panic attacks, drinking at 2pm to forget, and puking to expel the sadness on anyone. I wouldn’t wish the constant self-doubt, the anxiety, or the belief that you are not worthy of love on anyone.

Because that is what you gave him. That is what you dished out when you decided to tell him that your entire relationship was a lie. 

That is what you force-fed him when you blamed everything on an illness that may have been diagnosed by your third year psychology boyfriend.

So no. I don’t want you to have the same punishment. I want you to have inconvenient moments. I want you to be running 3 minutes late. Just enough time to see the train start to pull away. I want you to be serving dinner to your friends and suddenly run out of forks, when the main course is pasta.