#submerged eclipse

He felt his stomach twist again. “It was stupid,” he said, a bit more bitingly than he had intended. “It’s not romantic to sacrifice yourself for someone. Because the person who’s left behind has to live with that for the rest of their life. Alone. If you really loved someone you’d let the world burn down for them.”

She looked at him with a frown, seeming surprised that he was so passionate about it.

“Okay, so you didn’t like it, that’s alright,” she said and took his hand in hers. “Thanks for coming with me anyway.”

He forced a smile, but it still felt hard to breathe as he squeezed her hand.

He thought he could forget it, could simply move on that night and enjoy the free time they had to make dinner together and play some silly games before bed, but Rafayel felt the long dormant ache coming back like a re-opened wound.

Even she seemed to see it, asking him if he was okay.

And he mustered a smile and poked her cheek. “Of course, cutie, just pretty tired. Thomas has been working me hard aaallll week.”

She seemed to buy it because she leaned in to kiss his nose. “You know, I’m pretty tired too. Why don’t we go to bed? Then we can get up early and go out to the beach to watch the sunrise.”

The sick ache returned, but he swallowed it down and nodded in agreement.

He’d hoped that he could let sleep wash away the ache, but he should have known better. He should have realized there was no escape from those memories that had haunted him for so long, through multiple lifetimes.

As sleep took him, he was right back there in the ocean, the sunrise dancing across the waves, hot against his back. Her hands closing around his, as she commanded him via their bond, forcing the dagger to manifest.

He watched in horror, as realization set in, watched as she turned the dagger toward herself. He fought to stop her, to defy the oath, but her hands guided his own forward, plunging the dagger into her heart.

He felt the pain through his own heart, clasped her to his chest as she faded away, nothing but seafoam, nothing left of his beloved bride.

His blood pounded through his ears like the clash of the waves as he jolted from sleep, her name caught in his throat, tears on his cheeks.

He gasped for breath, disoriented as he looked around the dark bedroom, reaching out.

The other side of the bed was cold. She wasn’t there.

Panic ripped him apart as he sat up, searching in the darkness, scrambling in the sheets, shouting her name. This wasn’t right, she was supposed to be here. She was supposed to be with him.

“Rafayel! What’s wrong?!”

He spun, and saw her standing there by the bed, illuminated in the moonlight, a look of concern on her face. She held a glass of water, her hair messy from sleep, wearing her cute fish patterned pajamas she kept as his place.

Rafayel lunged forward and yanked her to him in a panicked, crushing embrace.

“Hey! Aahh—”

The water spilled on the floor, but he didn’t care. She was warm, solid, and alive. Her familiar scent caught in his nose, soothing him as he buried his face in her neck.

“Rafayel.” Concern tinted her voice as she let her hands rest on his back. “What’s going on?”

“Don’t leave me,” he croaked, holding her tighter. “Please never leave me.”

Despite his inability to articulate in that moment, she seemed to see what he needed. She set the empty glass on the side table and pulled him back onto the bed, holding him close as he shook, the tears still sliding down his cheeks as he fought to pull himself back to the present.

“Did you have a nightmare?” she finally asked when he had calmed down. Her fingers carded through his hair, thumbs brushing away his tears, but the tension wasn’t leaving him.

“Would you ever choose to leave me?” he asked.

She pulled back a little so she could look him in the eye. “What? Of course not. Not forever.”

“And what if you had no choice—or, what if you had to choose between me and everyone else?”

“That’s not a fair decision without context, but I would never leave you on purpose, Rafayel.”

“Promise,” he said firmly, taking her hand and pressing it to his chest, right over the place his bond mark rested. “Promise you’ll never force me to let you go.” Again, he added silently.

“Rafayel, this nightmare…it’s not just from the movie, is it?”

He didn’t know what to say. How could he even explain all of this to her? It was too much even for him, most of the time.

“Hey,” she said and cupped his face in her hands, lowering her forehead to touch his. “Whatever happened between us in the past—whatever I may have forgotten—right now, I’m here with you, and I have no intention of going anywhere.”

“You have to promise me,” he insisted, pulling her closer.

She cupped his chin and met his eyes. “I promise to Rafayel that I will not leave him.”

He let out a shuddering breath and leaned forward to give her a soft kiss, savoring the taste of her.

When they pulled away she leaned back on the pillows, letting him rest against her.

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” he murmured.

She shook her head. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m not a stranger to nightmares. Especially ones that force you to relive all the things you never want to remember.”

He rubbed her hip soothingly, pulling her closer. “I guess we both have things we need to live with,” he said.

“It’s unfortunately part of the human experience,” she said with a wry smile, finding his hand and twining their fingers together. “But…we have each other, here and now. And I don’t plan on changing that any time soon.”

He took a shuddering breath, begging that would be the case, that something wouldn’t inevitably show up and rip them apart again.

“Rafayel?”

He looked up to meet her eyes in the darkness.

He sighed and brought their clasped hands to his lips, kissing them. “You’re right. Sometimes we need to remember to live in the moment, yeah?”

She wrapped her arms around him again and tugged him closer, tucking his head under her chin. “Feeling a little better now?”

He hummed, nuzzling closer to her. “As long as I have you, I’m always okay.”

~~~~~~~