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Programmer Perforated Hacker Killed in Park Shootout

New York’s parks were once again more war zone than greenspace after a federal pursuit turned into a deadly shootout. Suspected cyberterrorist David Lieberman, an NSA analyst, was shot and killed in a tactical raid by federal agents working with local SWAT teams.

Special Agent in Charge from Homeland Security, Carson Wolf, was on hand for the incident and reported the suspect was armed and refused to drop his weapon, leading to a “clean shot that blasted the traitor straight into the East River.”

Culinary Chaos! Melee At Royal Dragon

The Royal Dragon Chinese Restaurant in Manhattan suffered considerable property damage following a massive brawl that included one suspect driving a car through the front of the establishment.

The melee erupted after an older woman and a younger hooded woman confronted four late-night patrons served after the restaurant closed, authorities said. The conflict escalated when a fifth member of the group, who left earlier, returned by driving a car through the front of the restaurant.

Things spiraled out of control from there. One assailant entered through the roof while a group firing guns came through the hole created by the car.

Police are still trying to piece together exactly what happened and the identities of the parties involved, but initial reports indicate this to be the latest escalation of New York’s ongoing vigilante violence.

The five restaurant patrons are described as a large black male with a shaved head; two white males, one blonde, the other with brown hair; an elderly white male with one hand; and a dark-haired white female.

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