#studyblr reminder

You don’t always need to be productive. You don’t need to be constantly sat at a desk studying. 

If someone wants to go to the movies, go. If your cousins are over and want to play, play. Your favourite TV show is on, watch it. You don’t feel like you can study today because you need to sleep, sleep. You’re doing the 100 days of productivity and you’ve done nothing productive today, that’s okay. 

*good advice from my mom to you (it’s in bold so you don’t have to read my sappy story)*

Today while I was in the car with my mom, she was talking about how she’s noticed that throughout the years I've gradually gotten sadder and unhappy. but I’m not really good with talking about emotions cause once i talk about it, the gates of tears don’t close. 

Anyway , she was saying how most kids (that have been in my situation) have had to go to therapist or have killed themselves and I somehow managed to keep upright and not break down, and she was proud of me for that. 

What she realized though was that i was talking my emotions and expressing it in my writing, drawings and school work by writing down every thought, or drawing anything and over stressing myself to the point if i don’t get a high B or A on every test i’ll break down.

She was worrying about me. she was saying how she never had to same opportunities as me, such as band classes, musical and art talent, and on top of that she never finished high school because she had to help her mom and the kids in Jamaica. She said that she didn’t want me to think that if i didn’t get A or B’s it would be the end of the world. I had to accept low grades every now and then. She was saying that my mental health is more important than any grades. I then went on to tell her about my panic attacks, how they’ve kept coming and I don’t know how to stop it, and she said that she didn’t know that because I don’t talk to her. 

One of the last things she told me before I exited the car was that I should’t surround myself around school. Because I’m not social (social anxiety), I will sit in class and not talk to anybody, and I’m perfectly fine with that. She was saying that I’m in high school and I don’t want to tell my kids that I spent high school doing work, thats boring.

I guess what I’m trying to saying is, mental health is important guys. If a class is stressing you out or causing you to break down 1. talk to the teacher, or 2. tell your parents, somebody’s gotta help you.

Well that’s it. I’m done. If anyone’s wondering what happened afterwards, I broke down crying into my moms arms while she held me and cried to. 

― Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC).