Written by Phabtema

NJ - With the start of the new school year bombarding us, we as college students seem to be inevitably forced to acknowledge the reality of school again. Given the demise of summer, and the unfortunate summoning of responsibilities, students may often feel like they are getting overworked and forgetting what it’s like to be a functioning human being. According to a recent 2016 survey conducted by the Institute of Schleep, students of Rutgers University have shared that important health activities, like getting a good night’s rest or fitting in a routinely meal, have become more and more of a struggle to complete. Unfortunately, through the strenuous tasks of everyday life, students are also becoming more at risk of “NMSD” (Need More Sleep Disorder). The uprising of this epidemic has instilled extensive fear amongst the Univesity goers. Well, what if there was a solution to this? Have no fear! I, Phabtema, have constructed a handy dandy lifestyle mnemonic that will regress the inner turmoil students may face through the course of this semester. Proven to be 99.9% effective when implemented correctly (statistically proven by Institute of Schleep), I present to you: SLAY

Sleep Lounge Adequacy Yearn to slumber

With the help of SLAY, students will be back on their feet in no time, feeling like they have a purpose for life again. Let’s get started, shall we?

Sleep - This step involves the basic understanding of how vital sleep is to one’s well being. When students fully ingest the benefits of sleep, it will allow them to value life at another level, and feel more inclined to apply relaxation methods to their routine. Sleep is the means of survival, which is pretty much what anyone needs to understand in order to complete this step. Although its benefits reign endless, I have compiled the 3 utmost crucial benefits that sleeping possesses, which include: avoiding real life interaction, practicing for death, and longevity. Those last two though…slightly ironic, huh?

Lounge - This step is all about the art of getting comfortable. Lounging refers to the beauty of unwinding oneself to a vegetative state. Lounging is not just a relaxation method, but rather a mentality, in which it becomes a lifestyle that is exposed to the outskirts of the world. Some elements of lounging include: Netflix binge sessions, consuming a tub of ice cream in one sitting, staring off into an abyss of nothingness, but most important of all - SWEATPANTS. Here are a couple words of witnesses to the success of SLAY/Sweatpants enthusiasts:

“The sweatpant is an abstract item that symbolizes far beyond just ‘basic attire’ in my eyes. The sweatpant emulates the different forms in which beauty can derive from simplicity. Yes, indeed sweatpants are beautiful. They are like fluffy blankets for my legs, except I can take them with me wherever I go. They are my reason for existence, for they allow me to lounge anywhere I go and remind me that sleep is possible in every corner” -Sharmin Doreen, Sophomore at Rutgers University.

“Sweatpants…IZZZ LIT!” -Samantha Choudhury, Sophomore at Rutgers University.

Adequacy - This step deals with the actual action of sleeping, so we’re getting pretty deep here. Students should fall under the “getting enough sleep” to “more than enough sleep” on the snooze radar. Adequacy is the most important element to all of this and acts as the key ingredient to successfully weave together all that we have learned so far. Adequacy serves to satisfy the student’s craving to repose and promotes proper sleep hygiene. Adequacy also helps to alleviate the overwhelming feelings of stress and prevents students from feeling sluggish throughout their days. Institute of Schleep have concluded through various experiments that students who slept for 8-10 hours straight vs. those who slept 2-3 hours have shown an increase of self-esteem and overall happiness in their daily living. Now doesn’t that sound sleeptastic?!