i think they’re living in a house in the UK somewhere because they’re going to college and secret identities and stuff

Steve and Bucky are like Kate Do Not Leave the House, Your Immune System is Not as Strong as Ours and she’s like. ok cool please get hummus while you’re out

The Boys pick up groceries for the whole neighborhood basically and they’re sitting on decades of military backpay so they never let anyone pay them

some of the little old ladies in the neighborhood figure it out, and also that none of them are the best at cooking so there’s this army of grandmas shoving casserole dishes at Steve with reheating instructions 

Steve gets so pissed off about people not masking that he comes back from the dead just to do a mask PSA

Fury is just like. I am so glad I’m not in fucking charge of you assholes any more

Steve does lots of Art of Kate and Bucky

at some point they film themselves having sex because why not?

Bucky is very into tiktok. it starts because he posts some of Steve’s Back in My Day, My Immune System Was Less Effective Than A Wet Paper Bag At Protecting Me From Disease, along with drunk history with Steve and drunk modern history with Kate. Anyway eventually he starts posting to youtube. here are some of his uploads:

we turned our house into a giant escape room for our girlfriend (tiktok compilation including: setting up the escape room house girlfriend is suspicious pt2 gf scales house for escape room (yeah we knew she’d do it) gf realizes this is a multi-day challenge update: we have lost our girlfriend in the walls of our house update: found her)

COVID Cooking: how to eat when you’re out of spoons episode 1, waffles

“Applause” for solo cello

Wife Screams on Roof, Story at 11 (a compilation of the following tiktoks: wife screams on roof wife screams on roof pt2 wife screams on roof: the saga continues wife screams on roof, is joined by neighbor local crows mystified by our wife screaming on the roof after the scream: wife sings to crows (yeah, every night) neighbors join wife in nightly scream crows watch as my wife screams IMPORTANT SCREAMING WIFE UPDATE: the crows are bringing her gifts???)

spouses surprise me with olympic-grade trampoline

wife accidentally trampolines me through a window

home repairs: how to replace a window pt 1

artist husband loses at pictionary

living room yoga

acro duo routine to glory box by portishead

trick shots with my wife, tiktok compilation pt 5

my husband does our wife’s makeup

BABY GOAT BIRTHDAY PRESENT

husband roasts iron man for 10 minutes

boyfriend bullies us into learning choreography from hello dolly

boyfriend’s bestie drunk zooms him

Purim 101

litter of kittens snuck into our garage

happy trees with the boyfriend

1. Who kissed the other first? Kate kissed both of them first because she doesn’t have time for all this pining nonsense

2. What was their first fight about? Probably how often Kate goes crashing through windows with no plan whatsoever (the Barton Method) and just hopes for the best

3. Who sleeps in the couch more often? Bucky, when he gets overstimulated

4. Who drinks coffee and who drinks tea? All of them like coffee, and sometimes Kate will have tea 

5. Who goes grocery shopping more often? Steve, who thinks he’s very sneaky with his baseball hat and fake glasses but literally everyone knows its him and just lets him think he’s getting away with it

6. Who brings breakfast in bed? Bucky

7. Who sleeps first? Kate falls asleep pretty quickly

8. Who watches the other sleeping? Bucky and Steve both like watching Kate sleep between them

9. Who met the parents in law first?

10. Who does the laundry? Steve

11. Who washes the dishes? Bucky

12. Who clean up the house? They all pitch in

13. Who washes the car? Steve and Bucky take care of their motorcycles while Kate enjoys the sight of them wet and shirtless lmao

14. Who brings take outs? Kate

15. Who calls the other to ask if they want something from the street? Steve, he’s constantly calling the other two to check what they do and don’t want

16. Who’s more likely to make plans? Kate

17. Who dreams about a big wedding? None of them. They don’t want the attention.

18. Who breaks the cups? Bucky

19. Who holds the umbrella? Bucky, the consummate gentleman. He glowers at Steve if he tries to take it.

20. Who takes the other to the dance floor? Bucky and Kate LOVE to dance and do so at every opportunity.

21. Who does the big romantic gestures? Kate and Steve are both sappy romantics

22. Who’s more likely to serenade? Steve will hum and whistle, and sometimes Steve and Bucky will both sing an old drinking song, but none of them really serenade

23. Who forgets the wet towel in bed? they’re all pretty good about keeping the towels in the bathroom

24. Who don’t pick up things when they fell? Steve forgets to pick up his pencils sometimes if he’s concentrating really hard on a sketch

25. Who keeps losing the keys? Kate loses her keys in her bag sometimes, but she always finds them eventually

26. Who sings the rap part? Kate

27. Who pretends to be sad just so the other will cheer they up? They all have PTSD and don’t need to pretend thanks

28. Who wakes up ready for a marathon? Steve, the bastard. Bucky wakes up very alert but he isn’t cheerful about it like Steve is.

29. Who buys them tickets for shows? Kate

30. Who choose the movie? Steve and Bucky usually just tell Kate to pick because she’s good about choosing stuff they haven’t seen yet

31. Who says ‘I love you’ more often? Steve

32. Who keeps waving at people after they got engaged? Kate would wave at her high society friends but otherwise keep it mostly to herself lmao

33. Who uses the most ridiculous nicknames for the other? Kate

34. Who’s responsible for date nights? They switch!

35. Who wakes up one day and decides to stay in bed? Bucky, but the other two don’t protest 

like obviously they’re doing the normal life thing under assumed identities. and they wouldn’t want to BLATANTLY reveal those, so when they post on social media (it’s mostly Steve on insta, and bucky on video platforms) they use fake names. and they ABSOLUTELY use the names of famous should-be-ot3s only I don’t know WHICH ONE.

here’s what I’ve got so far:

Edward, Bella, Jacob (Twilight)

Alec, Parker, Eliot OR Nate, Sophie, Jim (Leverage)

Jim, Spock, Bones (Star Trek)

Katniss, Peeta, Gale (The Hunger Games)

Laszlo, John, Sarah (The Alienist)

John, Mina, Quincy (?) (Dracula)

Buffy, Spike, Angel (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Jupiter, Caine, Stinger (Jupiter Ascending)

Ernest, Scott, Zelda 

Tony, Pepper, Rhodey

i mean OBVIOUSLY the hunger games one is a bit on the nose, and the twilight one is Highly Cursed, if I could think of a third one that has the same Vibes I’d go with “they all use different pseudonyms for each other”. there should be a lotr options probably but i don’t know enough about it 

Steve: he will most certainly catch us in his arms

(they both run at Bucky)

Bucky: No! I’m holding coffee!

(drops the coffee to catch Kate and Steve)

AFTER THE INFINITY STONE THING

Steve: you know I bet if we run and leap at Kate she’ll certainly catch us in her arms

Bucky: I don’t know how we’ll fit but you’re probably right

(run at Kate)

Kate: NO I’M HOLDING COFFEE!!!

Kate: Yeah Steve is pretty....pretty ANNOYING

Kate: Yeah Steve is pretty...pretty FUCKABLE

Kate: Yeah Steve is pretty...PRETTY MUCH MY HUSBAND