#stuckagain

I left nearly a year ago

to be happy

to be free

to escape the abuse

You told me what time to go to bed last night

Why does it take so little for me to break down and choose wrongly - choose to go right back to the awful things I’ve walked away from - after such intense efforts and investment. What the heck?

Here I am in the same spot as usual, feeling like I can’t pray or God won’t hear me anyway since I’ve screwed up AGAIN. Can I realistically get by living a “winging it” and just having fun lifestyle into my 30s and 40s? If I was to give up on ministry stuff and trying to be better so I could get married someday, maybe. But I always end up coming back at the end of the day feeling like I must do better. Like I’m called to it and won’t ever be fulfilled if I don’t. Yet and still, most times I’ve tried there’s seemed to be no true and permanent progress, and at the same time still, no real, lasting freedom or joy in the alternative lifestyle choice.

I keep going back and forth about my choice to live for God, because I feel like I’m not good or strong enough to consistently do it for the rest of my life, and I hate feeling inadequate and torn between lifestyles all the time. It’s a cop out - having my reckless "other" lifestyle on speed dial to go back to for when I screw up again and decide I can’t do this. But that habit is pretty hard wired in there, and I can’t shake the waiting game I seem to be playing with God to see how quickly He will give me what I want every time I recommit… if at all.

I’m afraid that may be the horrifying truth. Perhaps I’m afraid that I am only truly investing in living a life for God based on what He will give me. But actually, what does the Bible say about standing on His promises? And what is true about loving Him - or anyone else for that matter? 1 Corinthians 13 makes it sound more like a choice and set of characteristics than a feeling or sensation of being “in love.”

So yeah. Great vent session. But uh...

Your Home Matters – August 13 2016

Looking for a new home? Here are some listings that you may want to feast your eyes on.

Happy Shopping!

  Listing#1: Country Living in Town – Exclusive Stuckagain Heights

Virtual Tour: http://bit.ly/6940mcVT

  Listing#2: Carefree Living in Midtown

Virtual Tour: http://bit.ly/1650wlVT

Call or text Ranna at 907-441-5815 for more information about these great homes.

Hope to hear from you soon!

  ♦…

Do you know a buyer for these homes? Looking for a new home or a property for investment?

We invite you to check out our listings. Maybe one of them is the dream home you’ve searching for.

  Call or text Ranna at 907-441-5815 for more information about these lovely homes.

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Call or text…