#stuart rutherford

We meet our gang of four vampires Viago, Vladislav, Deacon, and Petyr. They are living together in New Zealand after having all turned into vampires in their own various times in their own various ways. Deacon’s familiar, Jackie, brings them some humans as prey and Petyr goes a little rogue and turns one of them into a vampire so we have a new addition to the group named Nick. Nick brings in his human friend, Stu, who the gang likes better than Nick! Stu teaches them all kinds of modern human things like the internet and how to text. The boys are fascinated by both the tech and by Stu! There is a bit of a problem with Nick though in the fact that he won’t shut the fuck up about being a vampire. He announces it to almost everyone he meets which is a big no-no. Nick also finds out he cannot eat human food anymore and decides he is so over being a vampire.

Deacon goes to Jackie’s house to give her instructions but she finds out that Nick is now a vampire and is very upset. Her whole reasoning for being a familiar is so she can be turned into a vampire and Nick just gets turned before her? But then, disaster strikes! Petyr is killed in a sunlight incident! A vampire hunter broke into the basement letting light in and while Petyr was able to kill the hunter with his coffin lid, Petyr was ultimately undone by the burning rays of the evil sun. When Nick arrives he realizes the hunter was a man he revealed his identity to while about town. Nick led a vampire hunter back to the house and got Petyr killed! For this crime (and for wearing a jacket far too similar to the one Deacon wears) Nick is exiled from the group. 

Several months later the boys are invited to a special ball but Vladislav’s arch rival will be the guest of honor there which really upsets our boy Vladislav. Viago and Deacon end up going together and they meet Jackie there who has been turned into a vampire by Nick. Nick is also there and he brought Stu. This was a very bad idea though because there is a room of hungry vampires who turn on them and want to eat Stu almost immediately. Vladislav shows up to try and fight his rival but it is Stu who ends up stabbing a vampire so they can escape the ball in one piece. They run into misfortune as they are leaving though because they encounter the group of werewolves they met before but this time the moon is full and they all transformed and they disemboweled Stu! Oh, no! Nick is very sad his friend is dead. Deacon gives him a nice pep talk about how everyone Nick loves will die…

In the end, Stu is alive! He turned into a werewolf and that is how he survived! Hey, whatever works! Viago finally approached his lady love that he had been stalking the whole movie and they are together now (and she's a vampire so it is forever). Vladislav gets back with his arch rival who just turned out to be his ex and he quickly remembers why they broke up in the first place. The after credits scene has Deacon doing vampire mind tricks on us, erasing our minds of us ever having watched the movie… Good thing I wrote this down!