#strngher

the truth , for so long he had hoped to outrun that very thing. wendy , more than a rebound - others were starting to see that , jackson never did do one night stands. cigarette lit as covers shift in bed and he sits upright , ' truth ? ' voice groggy as the morning sunlight breaks through shades. the room decorated in an assortment of memories. a poster of the national parks on one side as the top of dresser boasted various photographs throughout the years.

this house is new , gemma had bought it for jackson - a present for his 30th birthday. , and he's reminded of his age as he feels his back ache. looking over at wendy he then takes a drag as the smoke then exhales from nostrils. ' truth is i haven't been sleeping with anyone else ... ' the words small in formation as his legs shift , and the sheets pool by waist.

' you thought i was ? ' for a moment surprise enters timbre , then again ? he hasn't really done anything to change her mind about him. so scared to put his heart on the line ; remembering what happened last time.

the fear that comes with trusting another , letting them in. his heart had caused problems in his youth , a genetic defect and now ? now , there were problems but they were caused by the woman laying in bed.

' you gonna be honest with me ? '

       >> ⚔️ <<                   ❝         I WAS PLANNING ON    giving her this.        ❞          the wolf’s calloused fingers run along the    silver blade    that rested on his lap.    the implication was obvious in whom it was supposed to be for.    it was intricate,    runes and writing long    -    ways on the blade and    BEAUTIFUL    in his mind.    cirillia never    GOT THIS GIFT    and even years later he felt guilty.

@strngher​​​ sent:   “don’t lie to me, not again.” / nancy at steve

   HE’S TIRED OF FEELING LIKE AN OUTSIDE PRESENCE TO HER. He doesn’t want to tell her that, so he continues to act as if everything is alright. Even when he can slowly feel her slipping away from him with each passing day. He doesn’t understand what’s happening. What’s shifting in their lives so drastically that they can’t find some level ground where they can confide in each other.  “ I’m sorry Nancy, I don’t want to lie to you ….” 

                  he    doesn’t    know    what   to    say   ,    tongue-tied    as     he     TRIES     to    think    of   something    supportive   to   say.    this    marks    the     FOURTH    time    to    rehab   ,      wendy    promising   it    would   stick.   yet    jackson    hadn’t     EXACTLY    helped   -   visits   had    been     NONE.    that   anger     had    worked     WELL   ,      gemma’s   words    still   resounding   in    head    as    he    TRIES    not   to    look   at    her.     she   isn’t   PERFECT   but,    NEITHER   IS    HE.     knowing    that     ADDICTION    ran     wild   in    charming   ,    one     almost    needing    drugs    to     DULL    the    boredom   that    this    town    BREEDS.   jackson    wonders    where    they’d   ALL   be   if     they    had    grown    up    in    a    GOOD     HOUSEHOLD   ,   if    grief    and     DEATH    hadn’t    swept   through   the   town   the    way    it    did.    looks    down   at    shoes    as    he    nods.   ‘   yeah   . . .   it’s   good   to   see    you    too  ’   it’s   the    MOST   he   can   manage.   fingers    reach   for    the    bag    that’s    by    her   side   as    body   bends    and   he   hopes   that    his   body   language   says    enough.    

                           wendy   has   a     place      at    the    other    side    of    town,    and    he    FIGURES   that’s   where    he’ll   drop    her.   no,   he   won’t   go   in    . . .    take    her   to    a   DINER   for   dinner   so   he   can    avoid     that.   he   finds    that    while    she    was    away    that    he     DID   miss   her,    missed    her    in    a    way    that   was     UNEXPECTED.    he   never   got   used    to    people    leaving    him    -   wendy    exiting   and    entering   his   life    whenever    she   deemed   fit   (   though   that’s   not   entirely    true  ).  makes   his  way   to   TRUCK   as   her   bag   is   thrown   into   trunk,   and   he   goes   to   open   her   door.   ‘   you   hungry?  ’    GREEN  eyes   still  avoiding   her    gaze   as   her    FAMILIAR   scent   fills   nostrils   and     fills   him   with   a    LONGING   he   could   never   quite    define.   he  hates   how   wendy     makes    him     feel   ,     that     time    after    time    they’d    come   back   to   one    another.     that     DESPITE    everything   jackson   wasn’t    a   cruel   or    MEAN    boyfriend   . . .   he   had   his    FAULTS   but   he   did,    love   her.   that   ending   is    just    somehow    muddled   ,   his   life   becoming    more   and   more    complicated.    those   eyes   fail   to    stay   averted,   and   as    she   sits   up   in   truck   seat   and   he   hangs   on   door   he   gives   her   a   smile.    eyes   finally    settling   upon    wendy    case,   a    woman   who   he    LOVED.   a     woman   who   was   so    much    more    than   her   addiction,   and   he   SEES   that.    

☓        .      .      .        ❝     you know i tried to warn you.     /     @strngher​​​​​​​