#strixmoonwing

I’m your favorite??? Oh man, that’s quite high praise 0.o there’s a lot of really good Voltron fanfic authors out there, thank you so much

But you know you’re in the right place for Klangst :P Enjoy

Side note all the Klance in S3 was so beautiful and I was not ready

When the healing pod informed them – in short, informal text that had made Coran go cold and still, that had made Pidge wrinkle her nose in concentration before paling and stepping away silently, that Allura had finally read aloud to Keith and Hunk in a dull, tired voice – that it could do nothing else to save him, they had taken him out and laid him in a bed. Better that he died comfortable and surrounded by his friends than in a cold, clinical pod, they silently agreed. Or perhaps, Keith reflected, it was nothing but selfishness. Perhaps they all just needed him to have what last moments of consciousness and lucidity he could muster so that they could all say goodbye. None of them could stomach the thought of letting him slip into death unconscious.

They ought to be taking him home, to his family. He deserved that. Lance, of all people, should die surrounded by his parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and cousins, all the family he loved so dearly and missed so much. But Shiro – not Shiro, Keith corrected himself fiercely, a clone or a robot or a mind-controlled body, but not Shiro, not his Shiro, for all that he looked like him – had destroyed the teludav in his attack. Lance was the only reason the entire castle hadn’t been destroyed. Lance had seen what Keith had refused to see, had figured out what Keith had refused to recognize. Keith moaned, dropping over his knees. Lance should have been the Black Paladin, not him. Never him. Why Black didn’t respond to Lance’s touch, he would never understand. Lance was the only reason Keith had managed to be a leader at all. His rock in the storm, his right hand man, the only one he would have really trusted to take over Red, however vehemently he would deny that.

Lance shifted slightly, muttering in his sleep, and Keith sat back up, reaching out to brush the hair away from his forehead. Lance was damp with sweat. Keith squeezed his hand gently. “I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you,” he whispered. “This is my fault, all my fault.” He buried his face in his free hand. “And all I can do is sit at your bedside and whisper clichés as you die. It should’ve been me, Lance. I should’ve seen that Shiro— that it wasn’t Shiro. I should’ve been there to confront him. I should’ve been the one to die. I’ve got nothing to go back to. If Shiro is, is… gone, then… Then you’re all I’ve got.” He took his hand away from his face and clutched at Lance’s hand. “You’re the only person left worth dying for. Meanwhile, you… You’ve got a whole family to go home to. It’s not fair. It’s not fair.” Lance shifted, muttering. It was just coherent enough for Keith to realize it was Spanish.

He stroked his forehead again and Lance whimpered. Keith frowned, checking the IV with Altean painkillers was still working. It seemed nothing could make him entirely comfortable at this point. Keith couldn’t pull his eyes off of Lance’s face.

The others had stood vigil for hours, but the healing pod told them it might be three or four days still before Lance slipped away. Whatever Shiro had done – some kind of damage dealt directly to his quintessence, from what they could gather – it had only grazed Lance, but that had been enough to deal him a slow and painful death. Coran had slipped away first, citing a need to tend to the castle. Allura had left shortly thereafter to help him. Pidge had sat silent and unmoving for ages, so still she could have been carved from stone. When she had abruptly stood and left, it had scared Hunk so badly he’d woken Lance with his yelp.

Keith had had to order Hunk away. The poor guy had been dead on his feet, his stomach groaning and his eyes drooping even as he clung grimly to Lance’s hand.

“I can’t leave him alone,” Hunk had said, desperation tight in his voice. His skin looked practically gray. “He hates being alone. I can’t… I can’t…”

“I’ll stay with him,” Keith said. “You need food and sleep.”

“So do you,” Hunk retorted. “You look awful, Keith.”

“I’ll be fine,” Keith said, his voice dull and mechanical. “Get some rest. We can trade off when you come back.”

“I don’t want to leave him.” Hunk’s eyes, red and puffy, stayed dry; he had cried as much as he could already.

“Hunk, as the head of Voltron, I order you to get some rest,” Keith said, his voice quiet. “I’ll won’t move from his side. He won’t be alone. I promise.” Hunk nodded, a tiny bit of relieved thanks in his eyes, as he walked away slowly.

He’d been gone for maybe two or three vargas. The castle was quiet. Keith sat at Lance’s side, watching life slip from his body inch by inch. He reached for the cool cloth and patted Lance’s sweaty forehead. His skin was ashen, his head too hot, his hands too cold. His eyes twitched with dreaming.

“There is one way to save you,” Keith said. He glanced over his shoulder, but the hall was empty and dark behind them. “Pure quintessence. I don’t know how to open up a rift, and we couldn’t fly Voltron into it without you conscious, but… We’re near a Galra supply base. We can get some of the quintessence that Haggar and Zarkon use.” He squeezed Lance’s hand. “I could save you.”

“No.”

The single word, as hoarse and quiet as it was, still shocked Keith so badly he practically leaped out of his chair. Lance’s eyes were open, looking dull and tired. He leaned in, clenching Lance’s hand so tight his knuckles went white.

“Lance?” he asked.

“Don’t. Not… not like that. Rather die than that,” Lance said. His voice was barely audible, and his eyes seemed to be having trouble focusing on Keith, but there was a strength determination behind it.

“It healed my hand,” Keith said urgently. “It doesn’t have to be like what happened to Haggar and Zarkon—”

“It will,” Lance said. “I’m dying. Shut up, I know I am. I… I can’t be saved. Not in a way that leaves me… leaves me… human.”

“But I can save you,” Keith said. He hadn’t cried yet. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried. It took him a moment to recognize the sensation of heat building behind his eyes. “Lance, please—”

“No,” Lance said. “Keith, please… Please…” His eyes slipped closed again. The heat behind Keith’s eyes boiled over and he wept, pressing his face against the sheet of Lance’s bed. He couldn’t go against Lance, not when he begged, not like that, not even to save his life.

Thank you!! I hope you enjoy it :D Thank you for being so amazingly supportive of my writing, you’re the absolute best <3

          “Why are you piloting the Black Lion?”

           The wordsechoed endlessly around Lance’s head, his grin suddenly frozen into place onhis face, a rictus, a mockery of the joy that had spread across his face amoment before. Shiro’s look of utter disbelief would have been comical if ithadn’t cut him straight to the core. Insecurities tumbled through his chest, athousand whispers that he blocked out with a pillow in order to sleep. Why do you think you can lead them? What ifyou make the wrong decisions? You could get them all killed. You can’t handlethis. You don’t deserve this. You’re just the dumb flirt. Why would anyone everfollow you? Why are you piloting theBlack Lion?

           He lickedhis lips slowly, choking on the responses he wanted to give, and something inhis face must have given away his feelings, because Shiro rubbed a hand acrosshis eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said. “That came out wrong. But… I had told Keith—”

           “Keithdidn’t want to do it,” Lance blurted out. He bit the inside of his cheek. Hewas doing this all wrong. Shiro frowned.

           “But theBlack Lion let him pilot her before—”

           “Look,Shiro—” His voice cracked on his old idol’s name and he breathed deeply, tryingto calm his heart, which felt like it was thudding into his stomach. “After youwere gone, it was chaos. Zarkon was out of commission, at least for a while,but Haggar was on a warpath, and this other guy named Lotor turned up, and allthis time we couldn’t form Voltron because we kept playing musical lions butnothing seemed to work. Keith tried, Allura tried, Hunk tried, Coran was inGreen and Pidge was in Blue and I ended up in Yellow one day somehow, but wewere running scared because nothing wasworking. I… I didn’t really expect it either. But we had crashed on Kip’zinand we were scattered and I was just trying to get everyone back together whilethis ARMY of Robeasts was marching up the hill towards us and… Black came andrescued me. And I tried to pilot her, and that was the first time since you haddisappeared that we actually managed to work as a team. So… look you can haveher back. I miss Blue, I miss her so much, you’re still our leader, I just—”

           “Lance.” Lance broke off, realizing hehad been rambling, and snapped his mouth shut. Shiro had dropped a hand on hisshoulder. The weight seemed to press into Lance heavier than anything he hadever carried.

           “It’salright. I’m not angry. I’m just… I’m just surprised.” Lance bit his lip andlooked away.

           “I knowit’s not what you expected,” he mumbled. Shiro sighed, scratching at the backof his neck. The bags under his eyes told Lance he hadn’t slept properly inweeks, and probably longer.

           “I have noright to expect anything after being gone for six months,” he said. “How did itgo over with Allura, you taking on the Black Lion?” Lance felt his stomach plummetagain, hearing the expectation in Shiro’s words. Before he could respond,though, they were interrupted by the whoosh of the door.

           Keithcrashed into the room in a red blur, throwing his arms around Shiro, anuncontrollable gasp of relief rising from his chest. “Thank God you’re okay,”he said. Shiro, nearly knocked over by Keith’s furious embrace, stumbled a bitand then returned the hug briefly. Keith stepped back, peering at Shiro’s face,taking in the new thin scar along his jawline and the exhaustion in his eyes.“The castle wasn’t the same without you,” he said. Shiro smiled wearily.

           “Thingscertainly seem to be… different,” he said. Lance felt his neck go hot as Shiroglanced at him. Keith, looking between them, got a panicked crease between hiseyebrows.

           “Look,Shiro, I’m sorry I didn’t take over Black like you wanted, but… it reallywasn’t going to work. That became clear really, really fast.” He stepped backand snaked his arm around Lance’s waist. Lance pressed against him, feeling hisheart rate slow slightly at Keith’s comforting heat and weight by his side. “Lancehas done a better job than any of the rest of us could have.” Shiro lookedbetween them blearily.

           “You twoseem to be getting along much better,” he said flatly. The heat in Lance’s neckcrept up to his cheeks. He and Keith glanced sideways at each other.

           “We should…probably mention,” Lance said. “We’re kind of dating.”

           Shiro’sexpression was almost worth every moment of panicked insecurity Lance had everfelt.

Of course I don’t mind! I’m glad you’re enjoying them :D <3 Hope you enjoy my inventing Altean courtship rituals on the fly lol

           “So, longstory short… we’re dating now!” Lance proclaimed, waving one hand in a jazzhands motion, the other occupied with Keith’s death grip. He grinneduncertainly at the rest of the team. Keith stared straight ahead, jaw clenchedshut, a little too pale. Lance tried to watch him in his peripheral vision,wondering if maybe this was a mistake, and they should have waited a littlelonger. The two of them were barelyadjusted to the idea yet, and if the rest of the team didn’t take it well…

           Right oncue, the team exploded. Pidge was shouting “Oh WHO called it? WHO called it?”and slapping Hunk’s arm to get his attention. Hunk was spluttering, somewherebetween disbelief and congratulations, while Coran literally ran in circles, upto Lance and Keith, where he shook both their hands, back to Hunk and Pidge toexclaim in amazement, and back to Lance and Keith again with the whole group’scongratulations. Shiro stood there blinking stupidly for almost a full minutebefore he snapped out of it enough to come up and rest his hand on theirshoulders and say how happy he was for both of them. But Allura, she simplystood still, hands clasped together and her eyes sparkling like glitter. Oncethe hubbub had died down somewhat, she came forward, smiling widely at both ofthem.

           “I am sovery pleased for the both of you,” she said. “And, I know just the thing to celebrate. Coran, let’s give them a Majeval dance!”Lance and Keith glanced at each other.

           “Um… a whatnow?” Keith asked.

           “Majeval!”Coran said. “It’s an old Altean courtship ritual. Traditionally, every time weheld a ball one of the songs would be Majeval. If you danced together duringit, it meant you were courting each other. But it’s much more than that, therewere all sorts of protocols involved.” Keith had pulled his hand out of Lance’sand was slowly backpedaling.

           “Uh, yeah,I don’t… I don’t dance.”

           “That’sreally sweet of you, Allura, but I dunno, ‘courtship’ seems kinda formal,”Lance said, also backing away. Her face fell.

           “Oh,please, Paladins, you have no idea what you’re missing out on! The Majeval wasalways one of the most spectacular sights in the kingdom.”

           “It won’tbe if I’m doing it,” Keith muttered.

           “Keith,please, I promise you it will be extraordinary. You’ll both love it.” Keith and Lance looked at eachother, eyes wide. Allura held up her clasped hands. “Pleeeeease?” she asked.Lance and Keith both sighed, defeated.

           “Okay,”Lance said. “How does this… Maje-whatever work?”

           “YES!”Allura shrieked, and then seemed to realize how loud she’d been, because shecleared her throat and put her serious face back on. “First, you’ll needsomething better to wear. Shiro!” Her voice sounded so much like an armycommander that Shiro snapped to attention on instinct before sheepishlyrelaxing.

           “Yes,Princess?” he asked.

           “You knowwhere the stores of extra clothes are in the closets by the laundry rooms? Coranand I sorted out everything we didn’t think you would actually be wearing notlong after we woke up, so there should be a box labeled ‘Majeval.’ Findsomething in there to fit Lance and Keith.”

           “You gotit, Princess,” Shiro said, with a smile and a wink towards the mortifiedcouple.

           “Pidge!”Pidge jumped wildly, glasses almost falling off her nose. She shoved them backup hurriedly.

           “Uh, yes,Allura?” she asked.

           “I willgive you sheet music for the Majeval song. You are to recreate it using acomputer.”

           “I’m notsure that I—”

           “Hunk!”Hunk looked pale.

           “Yes,Allura?” he asked hesitantly.

           “You are tohelp Lance cook something sweet and something savory to offer to Keith.” Hunkbreathed an audible sigh of relief.

           “I can dothat,” he said.

           “Coran!”

           “Yes, Princess?”Coran was the only person besides Allura who looked at all eager.

           “You are incharge of decorations,” she told him. “You know which ones.” Coran tipped animaginary hat.

           “That I do,Allura,” he said, tipping an imaginary hat.

           “Well,don’t all just stand there. Get to work!” Allura shouted, sending the rest ofthe team scurrying off to their various tasks before turning to Lance and Keithwith eyes as bright as a burning star. “As for you two,” she said, “I am goingto teach you everything you need to know.”

 ***

             It took aweek before Allura let them actually hold the Majeval. It was a week full ofthe most exuberant and enthusiastic Allura any of them had ever seen, and atthe end of it all of them had no desire to see her again anytime soon. Ifregular Allura could sometimes be a bit overzealous, Allura on a mission forcourtship was downright scary. Lance and Keith felt like they were caught intheir own personal tornado of obscure Altean traditions. There were sparklyjackets to be refitted, an official proposal that they dance together that hadto be done with food that Hunk had mostly cooked anyway, practice for the wordsthey had to say to start the dance, practice for the dance itself, they had tofight each other one-on-one during training one day for some reason, there wasa night when Allura practically kidnapped Keith out of his bed and quizzed himon his history with Lance, until they frankly lost count of the number ofthings involved in Majeval. By the day of the dance they were exhausted andeveryone except perhaps Coran was regretting that Lance and Keith hadn’t juststood their ground and turned down Allura’s offer, no matter how disappointedshe would have been.

           “It’salmost over,” Lance soothed Keith, rubbing his back lightly as they stoodoutside the door to the ballroom, which Allura hadn’t let anyone but Coranenter since this whole process started. Keith huffed and shrugged.

           “Thisjacket is itchy,” he complained.

           “Yeah, butI have to admit you look amazing in it,” Lance said, eyeing Keith up and down.The Alteans had a gorgeous sense of style, and the red and deep gold flamepattern cut a striking image. Keith snorted, but a smile tugged at the cornerof his lips.

           “Are yousure compliments are allowed?” he asked. “Are we off script?” Lance rolled hiseyes.

           “Who caresabout a script?” he asked. “Scripts are boring.” He caught Keith around thewaist and dipped a kiss to his surprised mouth. “I’d rather have you,” hewhispered, and Keith rolled his eyes, clearly finding Lance as equally annoyingand endearing as always. They both jumped back up when Allura pushed open thedoor.

           “Are youready?” she asked. Lance grinned and winked at her, and offered his arm toKeith.

           “Shall wedance the Majeval together?” he asked.

           “Nothing wouldplease me more,” Keith deadpanned the response and Lance almost lost it, butthen they stepped past Allura into the room and his breath fled.

           Somethingreminiscent of Balmeran crystals glittered around the room, refracting lightuntil rainbows shattered across the air. Pinpricks of light like stars coveredthe ceiling. Long banners with the Alten royal crest flowed down the walls. Thecastle was always elegant, but today this room had a feeling of softness andgracefulness to it that the sleek and practical ship usually lacked. Lance andKeith stood there and gaped until the first notes of the music trickling instartled them back to reality. They turned to each other. Keith was lookingpale again, wetting his lips nervously. Lance caught his waist and grabbed hishand, pulling him close.

           “Just likewe practiced,” he murmured.

           “Allura’sgoing to kill us if we do this wrong now,” Keith muttered in response, eyesfixed on their slowly circling feet. Lance glanced sideways at the door. Alluraand the entire rest of the team were watching them eagerly. Pidge gave him athumbs up. Lance turned back to Keith and briefly released his waist to tilthis chin up.

           “Hey,” hemurmured. “I’m in space, in a 10,000-year-old outfit, dancing with the mostbeautiful boy in the universe. Nothing is going to spoil this for me.” Keith’seyes caught him and held him until his heart thundered in his chest. “Don’tworry about Allura or anything else. Just keep your eyes on me.” Keith smiledjust slightly.

           “I can dothat,” he said.

Wow, you psychiatrist sounds like a bitch. Definitely try and find a new one. She really sounds like she has no idea what's she's doing or talking about. Actually, she sounds like she might have been a Christrian church therapist or something at some point.

THANK YOU. SHE IS SUCH A BITCH. And yea she definitely gave me some Christian™️ vibes. (Her name was a typical ex-Yugoslavian name so it’s highly likely that she’s a Catholic or an Orthodox)

Thankfully I only had to see her the once, she was asked by the state (as in govt) to do an eval of my mental health, my working capabilty, etc, so they can assess what kind of help to give me.

My actual therapist is super nice and understanding and I’ve only known for a few weeks but I like her a lot and she hasn’t made a single homophobic, biphobic or aphobic remark and is just. very validating to talk to. she’s. literally so understanding. These two people are like on opposite sides of the therapist spectrum and it gave some Real Whiplash.

This eval thing is a pretty big deal though so I’m looking into whether there’s anything I can do about the fact that I feel like a lot of her assessments were probably extremely subjective, like maybe have someone else do another eval. It’s really scary though because I’m terrified even looking into getting her eval thrown out will get me labeled as a problem patient... I’ve read enough horror stories of people having trouble with therapists and psychiatrists and other medical people because of how that label follows them and leads to, just, more and more bullshit, unless you’re lucky enough to end up with someone who will be willing to disregard that label and... sorry, I’m rambling. Anyways. I hate her.

Sorry you're going through something like this. You shouldn't feel like you need to take part in any family gather especially if your family hasn't done their part to make you feel welcomed and comfortable.

Me coming out of the “Grinch” tag fifteen seconds later: