#striderspider

[1:02:31 AM] turntechGodhead: read me a bed time story

Aries: (greeting me over skype) "hey laloned how dorito"

Taurus: "on my wheatley account i added another wheatley and they added me to a group of wheatlies which has 43 wheatlies"

Gemini: "dude when I was a kid I ate spgheti and didn't finish my plate of spaghetti and it was like. Easter eve and for whatever reason we left it out for the Easter bunny then it just became a tradition to leave spgheti out for the Easter bunny"

Cancer: [entire paragraph of copypasted ricky gervais x stephen merchant fanfiction]

Leo: "cheetah cheetah pants fajita"

Virgo: "im talking to my table about johnkat and im just laughing"

Libra: "i realy gota pee bt i cant becuas emy refridngeraftor will be here in a few hours"

Scorpio: "madi told me that otakon's gonna be at octopimp"

Sagittarius: a single snapchat sent to a mutual friend at 4 am of him looking at the camera and saying "i am full of horses"

Capricorn: "but I mean no the real issue ere, is that. joe Biden may or may not be a myth. im not sure. is he a myth? I need to consult my tarot card... aha you probably think i have multiple tarot cards and that I just forgot to put an s behind that like usual dont you? wrong. I have A tarot card. an it says joe biden does no exist. mystery solved. but wist who's vice president then? need yo colnsalt... something. not the carrot tard. tried that. told me bidens a lie. umm. interdnyt? no. is that for me telling me to consult the Jesus portato. I mean I guess it could work but would it look any different than the other prottatos? how would I know? he probably looks like a normal 'to just chillin in a siack bein holy and all. not a care in the wourld, he. just gotta. wait to be peeled. OR EAIT FOR ME TO FIND HIM might be getting peeled as we speak. think of how many potatoes are getting peeled in the hour? tons of them. there's probably some potato factory that kills potatoes. potot slaughter house. maybe it's too late. maybe he has grown into a beautiful vice president by now. maybe that's the mystery. who knows?"

Aquarius: "i just typed 176 into the microwave because i thought i was trying to change the channel to cartoon network"

[2:19:05 AM] JACKO: and for whatever reason we left it out for the Easter bunny then it just became a tradition to leave spgheti out for the Easter bunny

[6:19:27 AM] THE GREAT POOPYRUS: and I thought it was the name of a troll

[6:19:44 AM] THE GREAT POOPYRUS: and if I said it I would summon it and it would be like that episode of metalocalypse

[5:49:39 AM] lazybones: nothing better than a benchful of quiche

[5:49:50 AM] THE GREAT POOPYRUS: wait

[5:49:56 AM] THE GREAT POOPYRUS: that's not the word I meant