#strengthinside

The strongest People are not those who show strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about

Strength inside. I survived because the fire inside me burned better than the fire around me.

The strength inside is far more brave compared to the strength that you showed elsewhere. Everybody is strong in their own way. In contrast, strength differs from every individual.

By the same token, strength enables us to conquer our biggest fear. You can’t tell if the person is strong enough to…

Haven't worked out in like a month

Haven't been eating healthy at all

Eat out a lot

Gained TWO POUNDS ARGGGG

Back to 120

Breaking out for no reason?!?

Not drinking enough water

Not sleeping enough

Stressed out a lot

Its spring break so i'm home but thats not an excuse

just frustrated right now thats all

Also I'm supposed to start birth control in a month and I'm worried that'll make me gain even more wait arggggg

Also the guy I'm seeing his spring frat formal is ON THE BEACH. Like it's so cool because they literally rent out a hotel for a weekend on a beach somewhat close buy so it's like a destination formal and it sounds so fun but I'm so self conscious because I honestly just feel so fat (FAT IS NOT A FEELING KARI) and it'll be the first time all his friends see us together so I just want to look good for myself you know?

Okay so today I went to LUSH for the first time and let me just tell you oh my freaking god:

I bought their free trade honey shampoo

My hair did NOT FALL OUT 

for like the first time in 5 years

my scalp is not itchy

no dandruff

my hair is shiny

it smells cool like i'm an indie hipster

omg its expENSIVE

BUT SO WORTH IT

seriously if you have problems with dry scalp/hair falling/split ends try this out

Monsieur Saint-Jour, on hearing this — as if challenging his American passengers — inquired in his thick Girondais accent, if any of us would care to try an oyster.

My parents hesitated. I doubt they'd realized they might have actually to eat one of the raw, slimy things we were currently floating over. My little brother recoiled in horror. But I, in the proudest moment of my young life, stood up smartly, grinning with defiance, and volunteered to be the first. And in that unforgettably sweet moment in my personal history, that one moment still more alive for me than so many of the other 'firsts' which followed — first pussy, first joint, first day in high school, first published book, or any other thing — I attained glory.

Monsieur Saint-Jour beckoned me over to the gunwale, where he leaned over, reached down until his head nearly disappeared underwater, and emerged holding a single silt-encrusted oyster, huge and irregularly shaped, in his rough, claw like fist. With a snub by, rust-covered oyster knife, he popped the thing open and handed it to me, everyone watching now, my little brother shrinking away from this glistening, vaguely sexual-looking object, still dripping and nearly alive. I took it in my hand, tilted the shell back into my mouth as instructed by the by now beaming Monsieur Saint-Jour, and with one bite and a slurp, wolfed it down. It tasted of seawater . . . of brine and flesh . . . and somehow . . . of the future.

Everything was different now. Everything. I'd not only survived — I'd enjoyed. This, I knew, was the magic I had until now been only dimly and spitefully aware of. I was hooked. My parents' shudders, my little brother's expression of unrestrained revulsion and amazement only reinforced the sense that I had, somehow, become a man. I had had an adventure, tasted forbidden fruit, and everything that followed in my life — the food, the long and often stupid and self-destructive chase for the next thing, whether it was drugs or sex or some other new sensation — would all stem from this moment. I'd learned something. Viscerally, instinctively, spiritually even in some small, precursive way, sexually — and there was no turning back. The genie was out of the bottle. My life as a cook, and as a chef, had begun.

Food had power. It could inspire, astonish, shock, excite, delight and impress. It had the power to please me . . . and others. This was valuable information. For the rest of that summer, and in later summers, I'd often slip off by myself to the little stands by the port, where one could buy brown paper bags of unwashed, black-covered oysters by the dozen. After a few lessons from my new soul-mate, blood brother and bestest buddy, Monsieur Saint-Jour — who was now sharing his after-work bowls of sugared vin ordinaire with me too — I could easily open the oysters by myself, coming in from behind with the knife and popping the hinge like it was Aladdin's cave. I'd sit in the garden among the tomatoes and the lizards and eat my oysters and drink Kronenbourgs (France was a wonderland for under-age drinkers), happily reading Modesty Blaise and the Katzenjammer Kids and the lovely hard-bound bandes dessinées in French, until the pictures swam in front of my eyes, smoking the occasional pilfered Gitane. And I still associate the taste of oysters with those heady, wonderful days of illicit late-afternoon buzzes. The smell of French cigarettes, the taste of beer, that unforgettable feeling of doing something I shouldn't be doing.