#stqrrian

You and Jeno have been having a rough time in your relationship. He’s always out, and you’re always waiting. It’s the classic "I’m busy", "I’ll see you soon", "I’ll try to see you when I can".

It’s been a year in your relationship, and you haven’t even been able to celebrate your first anniversary because you both have been busy. Working as a junior animator was kicking your ass, deadlines, meetings, and your boss hitting on you from left and right, but god did you need this job.

You knew Jeno hadn’t had it easy either. He and the guys had been landing more gigs. They had constant practices that dragged on all through the night, working on songs. You understood that, at least until your own needs started getting shoved aside.

“Just try to understand,” he says. But you’ve been pretty understanding in your eyes.

For the past couple of months, you’ve been arguing, pretending nothing was wrong, and falling right back into the same cycle. You would fight so much that eventually you guys could just fuck it out of each other, but that never really solved anything, did it?

You couldn’t really blame him. It’s not like you didn’t want him. I mean, for fuck’s sake, it was Lee Jeno. And today, Jeno didn’t have practice.

He sat on the edge of your bed with his guitar, quietly strumming a few new pieces. Meanwhile, you were curled up beside him on the second day of your period, rubbing your stomach while cramps twisted through you. Your mood was all over the place. You were fuming. You couldn’t believe that while you were having cramps and rubbing your stomach, he could be unfazed, strumming his guitar.

He must’ve sensed it after a few minutes. Jeno set the guitar on the stand he kept in your room and turned toward you.

"Come here," he murmured. "Let's cuddle." For a split second, you forgot you were mad. But you were never one to turn down being wrapped in his arms. You lay together for at least five minutes as his fingers ran through your hair and the other hand traced circles on your back.

You were still mad, but his arms were too big to say no to. You could smell his cologne. God, just the smell of him makes the heat between your legs feel almost piping hot. God, even looking at Jeno made you go crazy.

"You smell so damn good, baby." His tone was deep, sultry. And fuck did it turn you on.

The only thing that brought you out of your thoughts was him pulling you closer until you were almost lying on top of him. He traced from your back to your thigh and back up, gripping your butt. If there was one thing Jeno loved, it was your ass.

Whenever he was stressed, he would just fondle it. He’d grab it like it was his personal stress ball. It was probably the only weakness in Lee Jeno’s world.

"You have such a nice ass babe." You couldn’t help but let out a giggle.

He kept teasing you, gently pulling your shorts slightly out of the way before his attention shifted back to your face. He leaned closer, his eyes fixed on you like you were the most precious thing in the world. His lips hovered over yours. You could feel his breath against your mouth. No matter how many times you’d kissed Jeno, your heart still sped up every single time.

His eyes traced over your lips, and he kissed your lips, slowly. The kiss got messier, it was full of desperation. And it felt like you were both trying to tell each other how much you missed each other. His groans filled your mouth, and his other hand was laced in your hair, not pulling hard, but just enough to make you let out a soft moan.

He shifted you both slightly so he was lying on his side while you were on your back. You desperately craved him. He kissed your jaw all the way to your neck slowly then he unzipped the hoodie you had on, knowing that you never wore anything under a hoodie.

“Jeno I’m on my period we-“

That’s all he allowed you to say before he kissed you again it wasn’t rough, but it was just enough to say I know. He trailed kisses slowly along your jaw and down your neck, making you shiver as his hands continued to wander over you. He licked your nipple softly dragging a moan out of you, once he heard that he couldn’t help himself. Jeno was a mad man for you.

His hand went into your shorts, slowly tracing the skin that led to the part you needed him to touch. He used one finger to slide between your wet folds. You gasp at the feeling of him sliding his fingers, finding your clit.

“Jeno oh my god~” you whined out needing more, you craved his fingers.

“Look at my princess, all needy for me.” He moved slowly, kissing you again and again until the pace made you whine.

“You’re so fucking beautiful like this,” he spoke into the kiss, and you kissed back, pulling him close. You sucked on his tongue, making him groan as his hand moved faster, making you flinch and try to close your legs and attempt to close your legs with how good he was touching you. Jeno was stronger, and he didn’t let you. He held your legs in place and continued working his magic on you as soft moans and whines spilled from your lips, all of them his name.

You could see your saliva still connected by a thin string as he pulled away slowly. And he kissed down your chest, sucking along the way.

You can’t help but let out every noise that you couldn’t keep in. He kissed down to your chest. He sucked on your nipple, and he kept eye contact with you, his pupils were dilated, and you could see how badly he wanted to see you come undone on his hand. He loved seeing the faces you made when he would touch you, hearing the noises that would spill out of you as he pounded into you, seeing how your chest rose covered in hickies, and seeing how your legs would twitch as he claimed you every time.

“Yeah, you’re doing so good, you’re going to cum, huh, princess?” He smiled at you, looking at your exposed chest and your face as you nodded.

Jeno’s eyes widened as he looked at you. Flushed cheeks, red lips from the lip biting you were doing, and your hair was all over the place. It was his favorite view in the world. Watch you become completely undone.

You felt his breathing get rough as he watched you fingers going faster as he whispered in your ear.

“God, I love you so much you’re so fucking breathtaking.”

And just like that, you kiss him. It was messy as his fingers went faster, making you moan into his mouth, your legs spread, and his other hand pinched your nipples as you shook, gasping for a release.

And there was you felt the knot in your stomach snap, making you arch your chest rising all you could see were stars as your vision got blurry.

“Fuck jeno!~” you cry out with your legs twitching almost gasping for air.

Your body felt so hot and he helped you ride it out as he kissed you softly. Your head relaxed into the pillow as you pull him down with you kissing his nose lazily.

He smiled and kissed your forehead.

“Now my baby’s happy,” you smile and shove him playfully. “Just one issue, baby.”

“Hm?” You tilted your head to the side in confusion.

Loneliness. Loneliness was the only thing I could feel.

Heavy in my chest while the TV flickered in front of me. I wasn’t really watching it, I didn’t even know what was on. I was just waiting, phone in hand.

“I’ll pick you up soon. Be ready.”

Four hours later, I was still ready. I was in the dress he got me because he said it brought out my eyes, my hair left naturally curly because he liked it like that.

When he finally called, I answered right away.

“Sorry babe, I was busy.”

Of course he was. They seemed like the only words he knew to speak these days.

“Are you on your way?” hem of my dress between my fingers as I fidgeted with it.

“Yeah, I’m just getting ice cream with the guys”

Ice cream. That’s why I’m waiting? I looked at the window. The sunset I had watched while sitting there in my outfit, makeup done, had already faded into night.

“But it’s 8”

“Yeah, I’ll stop by quick.”

Quick, like I was a last minute squeeze in into his day, like it was a favor that he would even come and see me.

“Okay.”

I washed my face and changed into pajamas. Threw the clothes I had been excited to wear into my hamper. By 9:30, I was already in bed. Cold, but not needing a blanket cold.

“I just dropped off the guys. I’m on my way.”

After everything else. That’s all I was.

When he walked in, he smiled.

“Hi baby.”

A soft kiss. Like routine. He laid down and pulled out his phone. Eyes on it more than he laid on me in the past 2 minutes.

He was there. Right next to me.

But not really.

His body was close, his scent filled my nose. And even then, it was as if his mind was somehwere else. Still with the guys, still with work, still with everything. Everything but me.

I sat beside him quietly. My energy wasn’t the same. It hadn’t been since the second hour of waiting. I wasn’t as bright. Not as talkative. Not excited anymore. I felt tired.

He didn’t notice…. He never did.

He didn’t ask why I was quieter than usual.

Didn’t ask why my makeup was gone.

Didn’t ask if I had been waiting long.

He just assumed everything was normal. That it was all “chill”.

And maybe that’s what hurt the most.

How he can be inches away from me and not feel the shift at all.

I felt myself wither next to him, becoming softer, quieter, easier to overlook.

He reached over absentmindedly, resting his hand on me while scrolling.

And I realized something.

You can be held

and still feel untouched.

You can be looked at

and still feel unseen.

He was there.

But I wasn’t felt.

And I didn’t know how to explain that without sounding like I was asking for too much.

So I stayed quiet. Again.

And let the loneliness sit between us,

closer than we were.

And there again it was. The cold.

く