Loki series episode 3 and 4...
First of... damn I'm tired. Rough year(s) at work... and life is really showing today.
I so hoped to be entertained. Instead I get to see my comfort character getting beaten, tortured and thrown around in every episode. Not to mention he is made to look weak and a complete fool. At first I could understand his weakness, being just smashed by the Avengers but... episode 2 begun with him running after Mobius like a lost, frightened puppy. Worst is that you can see Loki knows he is going to get hurt and looks like he really can't take it any more.
Then in episode 3... It's like he had an IQ of 200 in the movies and it's been pruned to his shoe size. I have to say when Tom Hiddleston smiles and you look at those cheekbones oh so narrow... *sigh* you can fool youself and think it's just an act but...
Oh...
E 4 was the worst. Torture just continues. Loki looks like he doesn't give a damn, that he is bored... or just sad... I am not critisizing Tom's acting, he is awsome... but the writers... There really is nothing amusing about watching a depressed person get tortured. And him being alone makes it worse. He has no one he can trust, not even Sylvie... It's unbalanced. I just... I have no words.
Or maybe I do. I just have too many.
Narcissist. Loki. Fuck.
And no. Not a narcissist Loki is going to finally fuck himself.
Just...
He is insane, he is bad, he is starved for affection, he wants people to notice him... He is not a narcissist! He has empathy! He loves everyone BUT himself... Him loving Sylvie is actually an improvement if you think it from that point of view. He learned to love himself just not "himself".
Being a victim of a narcissist myself I have to say this offends me... like a dagger it cuts deep. People should be made aware what narcissists are, not fed these false examples of them. There is good in Loki. There is nothing good in a narcissist! Not a thing! If you have or get a narcissist in you life just... fucking run!
Loki can change. A narcissist cannot. There is absolutely no redemption for a narcissist. All they touch for too long will turn into a bleeding mess.
But unlike daggers narcissist aren't useful or beautiful. You cannot see your reflection from them and you absolutely cannot wield them... for long anyway.
What hurts maybe the most is that Loki is too human. He behaves from e 1 to 4 like a person whose been a victim of a narcissist for too long. And you know what else narcissists can do?
Have a narcissist is your life and at one point you will tell yourself that you are one.
And you will propably never stop doubting that. To this day there still are times... a lot of times when I tell myself that I am one. I am not. My granny is one... and also a psychopath. Yay... We didn't see that until it was too late for... oh, so many.
A narcissist would never admit being one. They would never even consider it a possibility. That would require empathy and ability to see things from other people's perspective. Also it would/should lessen their sense of selfworth.
Loki is not a narcissist. Now Odin could be. Thanos could be. But Loki isn't for his actions thrive from love or the lack of it. He loves... but not himself. And all Loki wants is to be loved back. "Loved back" are keywords here. Next time you need to figure out if someone is a narcissist use that. A narcissist wants to be loved but cannot return that love. They can pretend but... it won't be real. Your love is the dagger they will turn against you and the wounds it will cause are not imaginary.
This is what narcissists do to people. A powerful Loki ends up kneeling, forgets he has over 1000 years worth of training in magic and combat arts, that he physically can overpower humans with his little finger or just by sitting on them... for he is too broken and tired to care anymore.
