I have this sudden reoccurring fantasy of having a brain eating emobia or however you spell it use me as it's host. I also have this reoccurring fantasy of causing wars using authority as an emperor. I feel the desire to dive into the ocean and never come up, be waterboarded or just cover and surround myself in dark liquid such as ink, blood, deep waters, or gasoline] i frequently think about consuming and hunt other humans. I sometimes think of amputating myself or eating my limbs. The thought of hunting and stalking human prey is somewhat arousing in the way it would bring me pleasure hunting and eating my prey. I often thinm about going to the hospital and having a part of me discovered or changed. Like it gets revealed i have a parasite in me or they add another limb onto my body. I think about being a massive cult leader, or one of the leaders. Ripping off someones face and maybe partially consuming would be considered as self defense in situations where you are threatened with a weapon, i hope. Maybe not the consumed part. Being enveloped in darkness sounds nice in a way, walking empty streets attacking people on sight with nobody to stop you, the wild, left to act wild, left to act in the nature we were supposed to. I often think about being in a place of control and hurting people, including myself.
