#stoopids

Ref under the cut + silly (⁠~⁠‾⁠▿⁠‾⁠)⁠~

Hoooo ohhh man, Abby! The origin story to this one is actually pretty funny…and I know I’ve blathered on to you about my fics…BUT for everyone else…so a few months ago, an anon asked me if I had any sort of fic prompt ideas floating around in my head, which you can find here. And what do I do ofc??? Why, write out 5k worth of prompt ideas because a bitch over here can never stfu. And ONE of those ideas…I honestly got really attached to it and I was like…well oh NO I am going to have to write this, aren’t I?? It’s from the “Canonverse Divergent” section, I thought of this Clone Wars AU, and this is the original prompt I wrote:

“Clone Wars AU where Cal and Jaro are assigned to try and recruit the Nightsisters to try and get the upper hand in the war with Dooku (lol I wouldn’t say exactly a Dark Disciple route but that’s up to you). Merrin is voluntold (the opposite of volunteered) by Mother Talzin to try and become allies with the Jedi (they could have their own shady Nightsister ulterior motive going on as well), and Merrin reluctantly goes with the Jedi. And oooooooOoOooo wow the shenanigans that can ensue from that. (Merrin also has to try really hard not to lose her shit over leaving Dathomir for the first time in her life). I’d imagine a lot of frustrations from both parties. The clones mercilessly make fun of Cal and his Nightsister gf (but they also have to tell him what’s up). He thinks she’s unreasonably obtuse and rude, and she thinks he’s frustratingly smug/arrogant. Merrin could prove to be a definite asset in battle. Cal probably thinks it’s hawt 😳 OH NO SHE’S HOT SEE LOOK HOW WE GOT HERE WE LIKE TO HAVE FUN HERE.

Now suddenly she’s mysterious and complex, and he’s frustrated that he wants to know more. He’s actually the sweetest person she’s ever seen and she’s angry about it. She constantly has to check in with her sisters and it’s getting harder and harder to go behind his back or deny that she maybe might not hate him anymore she maybe even may want to smooch him WOAH who knows. They bond over feeling used in this war. Come on. You got it from here right?”

Soooo, YEAH…I gots a little too overindulgent in my thoughts and started writing THIS…but I am so very excited because it’s just the two of them being endlessly frustrated yet hotted up for each other at all times. All the clones ship it HARD. Merrin starts to grow attached to some of the clones that are very welcoming to her…actually fun fact…if you’ve read my fic “what’s grown between (surgery scars)” when Cal told Merrin about his clone trauma…I literally pulled what he was saying from this WIP…HEH…

ALSO, I honestly just want to live my best life and push forward my personal HC that I have of if Cal were older during order 66 or it never happened, him and Jaro would 100% have Jake and Holt energy from Brooklyn 99 agenda.

And I am so very excited to explore a lot of these themes that I’ve brought into my Merrical writing in a setting like this. Cal contemplating his feelings, his so naturally compassionate and empathetic spirit that wants to take care of everyone else before himself, and then someone like MERRIN steps into his life??? OOF I am gonna have some fun with this and the psychometric Jedi and space witch of it all. GOODNESS I am so excited for it.

AND SO…here is a long ass preview because I honestly didn’t know where to cut it off…Cal is answering a comm from their commander, Zand, on his and Jaro’s ship and well he may have sensed a presence while doing so…😏😏😏

When there was nothing there still, he turned once again to his original direction, but as soon as he did, there was a flash of green light and smoke, and suddenly, there was a figure there before him.

“There is no need to brandish weapons or administer threats Jedi,” she stated with her voice laced in malice, which ironically enough did feel like a bit of a threat.

Cal severely balked at this sudden interaction, “Who are you?”

The woman crossed her arms with still a severe expression on her face, “Does it matter? We are all just—unsettling to you anyway.”

His eyes narrowed as he put the pieces together in his head, “Were you—spying on me?”

Her expression changed to that of incredulity as she raised an eyebrow, “You left the door to your ship open.”

It was a bit shocking, her audacity as he bristled all over again, “Are you seriously blaming me for you trespassing onto my ship and listening in on my private conversation?”

This woman, who Cal only now after processing the last several moments did he start to take in her appearance, did give off such an intense energy in the force. Cal felt her ire, her disdain so much so that it almost made him feel dizzy.

A short breath escaped him as he shut off his lightsaber, and all she did was continue to glare at him. She was short statured with light gray skin and intense brown eyes. Her soft features on her face were adorned with tattoos that lined her forehead, her cheeks. And it was all coming to a head, feeling her emotions, his emotions of frustration, accost, but now he was also flustered, bewildered, and definitely anxious.

He hated to think, though it was sad, but true, that he thought she was astoundingly beautiful.

His mind tried to do a complete turnaround because that was very much besides the point, and he did his best to keep his mental shields up, having no idea what she was capable of as she finally continued to speak.

“Though Mother Talzin invited you here Jedi,” she said again with such derision to her words, “do not hold the false notion that you are in any way welcome.”

Cal almost wanted to laugh at her statement, his own ire stacking up again in his mind, and he actually welcomed it as it was much easier to process in the moment than anything else he was currently grappling with.

An exhale escaped his nostrils harshly as he kept up his glare, “Believe me,” he stated with his own contempt, clipping his lightsaber to his belt again, “I would like to get off this force forsaken planet as soon as possible.”

She tilted her head at him, seeming to descry in her own way, which caused the fringe of her silver blonde hair to slightly cascade into her eyes as they scanned over him. It made him—exceedingly uncomfortable for a multitude of reasons he really couldn’t dwell on at the moment.

“That is at least something we can agree on Jedi,” she uttered in a flatter tone than she had before, but still possessed an air of intolerance.

“I have a name you know. Don’t know how I’d get around the confusion of actually just going by the moniker of Jedi,” he stated in what was a mockery of her sardonic tone of voice.

She stood there still for several moments as she raised an eyebrow at him, which to him translated into some form of her being through with his banthashit.

“Jedi…the Jedi?” The Nightsister questioned with a genuine air of perplexment to her voice.

Honestly, once she said it out loud, Cal really wasn’t sure what he was even trying to accomplish. Was he trying to make a joke? Was he trying to be a smartass? Was he trying to break the tension? If Jaro was asked, he’d probably claim that Cal would try and accomplish all of the above.

“What, are you attempting to be clever or snide?” She asked as she began to take careful steps circumventing him, “Or just insulting? You think you can come to my home and disrespect me in such a way?”

Cal crossed his arms as he scoffed, “You’re the one who snuck onto my ship first, Nightsister.”

If she was going to address him in such a way he’d do it right back. He was feeling that petty.

Though, he very much resented himself when his mind flashed with the title ‘Nightsister, the Nightsister,’ and he had to hold back a stupid smirk.

She was temporarily out of his view, though he still felt her, always felt her as she too laughed humorlessly, “You are extremely full of yourself, aren’t you Jedi?”

The way she said it this time seemed to give off the same amount of snark he was emanating.

Cal waited until she was there in his vision again as he slightly upturned his chin to her.

“I bet you’d like to think so, wouldn’t you? Profile me, put me in a box of whatever your false perceptions of Jedi are,” Cal almost barked at her. Force, he didn’t even remember the last time he’d been so irritated with a person.

“And you are not doing the same to me? Making your own assumptions and insulting something you don’t even understand.”

Another scoff was in his throat, “Yeah, and let’s still not forget how you acquired such information from me.”

Her glare was fierce again as the disparagement was almost palpable on her face now, “I only was scoping out the situation because I have my people’s interest in mind.”

Cal realized he was flexing his arms now as they were still crossed over his chest out of sheer frustration, “You could have just asked me you know; I would have been more than willing to speak with you about any such matters that occur with my order.”

“And how was I to know this? All I have heard about Jedi is that they are liars and selfish thieves!” She exclaimed.

Again. He was taken such aback again at the gull.

“And where in the hell did you hear that? A Separatist the people The Republic is trying to stand against?” He said, but then he already had another retort on his tongue, “And for that matter, we were the ones that were invited here and ever since we arrived, all we have gotten from you is blatant disdain when we hadn’t even done anything!”

“None of us wanted you here!”

“That’s not my problem! Don’t take your misplaced frustration out on me!”

His statement seemed to give her pause, and Cal hadn’t even realized that they’d somehow managed to step closer and closer to one another in this skirmish and were definitely in one another’s personal space.

Kriff, how did I end up here?

Her eyes were narrowed up at him as he still found that anger, but he also cornered something else in them that was not easy to place.

“You should have never come to Dathomir Jedi,” she admonished in a strained tone.

A short sigh fell out of his mouth.

“Cal.”

For the first time, he found actual confusion on her countenance, “What?”

“Cal, my name is Cal Kestis, not Jedi. Again, I don’t go by Jedi the Jedi.”

Honestly, he wasn’t exactly sure why he said it. At this point he recognized they were both being assholes to each other.

Her eyes were all over him again though as she leaned back to cross her arms, “Do you think you are exceedingly hilarious, Cal?”

He didn’t know what it was. The concept of his nomenclature was always simple, straightforward concept in his mind, but there was something in the way that she said it, the timbre of her voice, that drove him insane.

And that sort of insanity seemed to have many faces right now, many of which were irritation.

Still, he crossed his arms all the same, “I am starting up my own comedy tour, actually.”

And never in his life, as he was already trying to convince himself that it wasn’t true, had he ever been so…aroused by the utterance of his own name.

This…he needed to get himself out of this situation now.

Her eyes scanned him again, “I do not find your antics the least bit entertaining.”

“Well, I guess I won’t be reserving the cranky Nightsister a seat, now will I?”

A narrowed gaze in his direction now. And he wasn’t sure how he felt—about being under her scrutiny.

“You are extremely arrogant and insolent,” she declared, her eyes still fierce, “but it is not as if that really matters, Cal.”

He was very much resenting the shiver that was sent down his spine.

SOOO YEH, hope you guys are as excited for this one as I am!!! I literally think these two don't even have the ability to be around one another and NOT be super horni right off the bat for each other haha.

For those who don't speak spanish, the context doesn't help to understand anything at all NSMSMAMS

"Prowl: Jazz you son of a bitch, you left the coke bottle cap open"

"Jazz: Mmm weird, I feel like a lil breeze..."

I'm afraid that Jazz would do this kind of harmless jokes everytime that Prowl annoys him