It’s lesbian day of visibility, so I need you to look. I need you to look my stoneness in the eyes and love it. Not me. My stoneness. Don’t love me in spite of it. In spite of what I won’t give you. In spite of my limits. In spite of what some see as brokenness. Understand that it is not something to be forgiven. I don’t need forgiveness or mercy or pity or begrudging tolerance or your martyred resignation to a relationship half fulfilled. You’re not a hero for loving someone like me, and if you feel that way you never really did. I need you to look my stoneness square down the barrel and love it, knowing what it means. Not just what you want it to mean. Not how agressive and dominant you fantasize I am, or how damaged and tragic you speculate I might be. I won’t beg or say please- I’ll just give it to you plain. You have to see it, to love it, understand and joyfully accept it, because it is me. Not a part of me- it’s me. I am my stoneness and we cannot do this separately or in spite or ignorance of that reality. So on this day of lesbian visibility- I need you to see me. And then, my love, we can begin.
