this is one of my favorite reviews of all time. thank you so much Bog Eternal

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this is one of my favorite reviews of all time. thank you so much Bog Eternal

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Today is Marcus' birthday, or it would be if my characters actually aged. So I went back and redid the thing I made for the occasion.
I want to kick the rat.
He is displeased of your desire, he was hoping this would stop when he was no longer of punting size đ
X-SCNT LOVES Stercus by Orto Parisi #stercus #ortoparisi #alessandrogualtieri #nasomatto #profumo #perfume #collector #scent #nicheperfume #parfum #instafashion #luxury #fragrance #cute #nicheparfum #profumeriadinicchia #love #instagood #profumeriaartistica #profumidinicchia #perfumeporn #eaudeparfum #luxuryperfume #essenze #sotd #fragrantica #basenotes #perfumephoto #perfumephotography #beautyeditorial
Stercus Accidit
We normally wouldnât post our own writing here, as it goes against our rules, but today weâre making an exception. Â This is our co-written contribution to the @xfficchallenges dialogue only challenge. Â We may or may not have gotten a little drunk last night, and this is the result. Â We hope you think itâs as hilarious as we did, because we couldnât stop laughing.
Authors: @kateyes224 and @piecesofscully Timeline: Season 6, somewhere in the middle of Texas. Rated: PG-13 (for coarse language and potty humor)
â...and my informant promised me heâd meet us at the rendezvous with the photographs he took of the UFO. Â Iâm really excited about this, Scully, this is the first legitimate sighting Iâve come across since Antarctica, and I just...Scully, are you okay? Â Youâre not looking super hot.â
âIâm fine. Just feeling a little queasy. Â Keep going; since Antarctica?â
âOh, since Antarctica there have been only a half dozen or so sightings that have been anywhere near legitimate, and Iâve been thinking, would someone in Roswell, New Mexico, be more likely or less-â
âMulder, does the air conditioning go any higher?â
âUh, no, I think itâs at the highest setting. Â Anyway, Roswell has been a notorious hotbed for UFO activity since the 1940s, as you know, but lately sightings have been more sporadic-â
âCan you, um, oh wow, could you roll down the window or something?â
âScully, itâs like 115 degrees outside. Â Itâs way cooler inside the car than it is outside. Â Is something wrong?â
âNo! No, I just, is it hot in here? It feels really hot in here. Â How many more miles until we reach the next rest area?â
âUhhh, I think I remember a sign about fifty miles back that said itâd be another fifty miles. Â Why? Â Are you okay, Scully?â
âDo you have any Tums? Â I mean, with the garbage that you consume on a daily basis, I assume you carry some sort of antacids. Â Give me one.â
âIâm sorry, Scully, I donât usually need them. Â Iâve, uh, Iâve been blessed with kind of a rock solid gut. Â Which is really great for me, given my proclivity for gas station sushi and Velveeta.â
âOh, my God. Â Itâs rolling.â
âWhat does that even mean?â
âItâs my...wow, itâs my stomach. Â I knew I shouldnât have let you talk me into that wet chimichanga, Mulder, my stomach is churning.â
âOh. Â Oh God. Â Ummm...do you need me to pull over?â
âOn the side of the road?! Â No, Mulder, thereâs nothing but sand and tumbleweeds out here! Â Just keep driving.â
âScully, itâs okay.  Thereâs no shame in popping a squat.  I promise I wonât look.  I think we have some napkins in the glove compartment or somethingâŠâ
âMulder, please, Iâm begging you, stop talking and drive faster.â
âOkay. Â So our informant allegedly has some kind of intel from a source on Sheppard Air Force Baseâs drone project, which Langly told me a few months ago has been-â
âOh, God, please shut up. Â I need to concentrate- oh my god, Mulder, why wonât my window roll down? Â My buttonâs stuck, Mulder, roll my window down.â
âSorry, Scully, I think the child proof window lock was engaged.  Here, let me see if I canâŠthere, is that a little better?  Itâs still over a hundred degrees outside, Scully, Iâm not sure why you-â
âFor the love of all things holy, stop talking! I need quiet and the wind in my...Mul- Mulder, pull on my sleeve.  I need to take my blazer- Oh, God, now itâs coming in wavesâŠâ
âHere, just give me your arm. Â There, is that a little better? Â What do you mean, âitâs coming in waves?â Â Youâre looking really red, Scully, are you sure youâre okay?â
âHow is there not a rest stop for another fifty miles? Â What kind of hell state has rest stops so far apart? Â Okay, okay, wait. Â Itâs getting better, I think itâs going away.â
âWhatâs going away? Â Scully...is there something you need to tell me?â
âNo, Iâm fine. Â I donât think that Tex-Mex agreed- Oh, God. Oh, no. Shit, Mulder, you need to pull over. Â Now, right now. Â Pull over, pull over.â
âScully, thereâs nothing but desert as far as they eye can see. Â Are you sure you canât wait?â
âI, um, holy sonofabitch. Â Now, Mulder, pull over now! Â Itâs imminent.â
âImminent?! Â Jesus, Scully, thereâs...uh, I guess thereâs a cactus over there that might offer you some protection?â
âIt feels like thereâs a brick with claws sitting in my lower abdomen. Â I donât care, pull the damn car over, and give me the napkin!â
âA brick with claws? Jesus, Scully, thatâs...graphic. Â Hey, I think I remember an X-File about that, ha. Okay, I can tell youâre not in the mood to joke right now, so, uh...listen, we havenât passed another car for the last ten miles so I donât think anyone will-â
âTHE NAPKIN! Mulder, give me the damn napkin!â
âDo you want me to get it a little wet, Scully?  âCause that might feel a little better on yourâŠâ
âIâll, uh, Iâll be right back-â
âOkay, Scully, vaya con Dios!  Or, ya know, vaya con...ya knowâŠwhatever. Just let me know if you need any, uh, you know...help...or...something.â
â...Oh my god, please no, please no, just a little further. Â Just get behind the cactus, Dana...I, shit. Â Shit! Â Oh, God, Mulder. Â Mulder!â
âSCULLY! Â Hold on, Iâll be right there! Â Just let me-!â
âItâs the spines on the cactus, I canât hold on to it. Â Just... my hand. Â Hurry, I need you to hold my hand.â
âOkay, no problem. Â Um...Here, just squat down and Iâll support your weight..â
âDonât look at me! Mulder, do NOT look at me, turn around!  Oh, God, I canât hold itâŠâ
âItâs okay, Iâve got you, Scully. Â Just, uh...there. Â Just rest back on your ankles. Â Iâm not looking, I swear to God. Â Just let it go, Scully.â
âGod, I swear, I will never touch Tex-Mex again if you- oh God, oh my god, Mulder, donât listen. Can you sing or something?â
âSing?!  Okay, ummmâŠ
âLove...is a burning thing⊠And it makes a fiery ring. Bound by wild desire, I fell into, a ring of fireâŠâ â
âThe Ring of Fire? Really, Mulder?â
âI fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down, And the flames went higher, And it burns, burns, burns, The ring of fire...the ring of fireâŠâ
âShitshitshit... Um, Mulder, the napkin...itâs, uh, itâs not enough.â
âWhat? Â Uh, wow, okay...well I donât have any Kleenex or anything so unless you want me to give you my tie I don't think-â
âYour tie, give me your tie.â
âScully, no. I was only joking, and besides, I love this tie! Â Frohike gave me this tie.â
âMulder, just give me the damn tie!â
âFine. But you know what, you owe me, Scully. And you get to explain this to Melvin when he asks why I never wear my UFO tie anymore.â
âMulder, we are never to speak of this again. Â And, for the love of God, stop humming Ring of Fire.â

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