#steggyfic

“Howard! We said we’d meet you at dinner,” Steve nearly whined, squinting as the light from the corridor spilled in the dark room.

Howard pushed past him, turned the lights on, saw Peggy in nothing but her slip and spun quickly so he was facing Steve. “You missed dinner completely, I thought something was wrong.”

“Missed dinner?” Peggy bounced the baby as she turned to look at the clock, “Good lord, we missed dinner.” Peggy lifted Amanda high and sniffed at her diaper. “Her alarm didn’t go off. Not as reliable as I once thought.”

Steve passed Howard and took Amanda from Peggy’s arms so she could get dressed. Instead of trying to shrug into her dress again she grabbed Steve’s shirt and put it on, buttoning only a few buttons before she stepped into Howard’s view.

Howard winced and looked away. “Oh, that ain’t much better, Peg.”

“Glad to know I’m that repulsive.” She pulled the shirt tight and crossed her arms over her chest, incensed.

“Opposite, Peg.” Howard suddenly found his feet fascinating. “Trying not to get decked by your ‘husband’ there.”

Peggy rolled her eyes, sharing a look of exasperation with Steve, Amanda whimpering loudly as he rocked her. “Back to business, please?”

Howard lifted his head, focused mostly on Steve, but his eyes darted back and forth between them both. While before he might have made fun of their level of undress, it was clear they had been sleeping. Steve had pillow creases running across his cheek and Peggy’s hair was mussed from where it had been pressed against the pillow. Her eyes were glassy and not fully awake, and Steve kept hiding yawns behind his free hand. The no man’s land of the bassinet in the center of the bed with the sheets still folded primly underneath it but horribly tossed on either side was a dead give away, though. Nothing more fun than sleep had been happening. “Well, now I feel bad I woke you. Even the baby needed sleep.”

“Can’t say I don’t appreciate the concern, though,” Peggy conceited, moving towards the vanity to prepare a bottle.

“We should all be keeping tabs on one another,” Steve offered. “Tomorrow at breakfast we set up check-ins. We don’t make it to one, we go looking.”

“I agree,” Peggy shook the bottle furiously, bringing it over to Steve.

Howard had been impressed with their handling of the baby before but he was downright amazed at how nonplussed they were at her now full blown crying, or how easily they moved together to feed her without words. “Wow, you guys really got this down.”

“Good lord, no,” Peggy laughed. “Making it all up as we go along.”

“You look natural.” He sighed. “Well, anyway, don’t worry about dinner. I’ll get Jarvis to bring you something to your room.”

“Jarvis?” Steve asked, coaxing the nipple into Amanda’s mouth.

“Mr. Jarvis. My new butler.” Howard looked quite proud. “Long story, I’ll fill you in when Peggy’s wearing more clothes.” Peggy looked askance at him, but he kept talking. “But being part owner, I get some perks. Jarvis getting unlimited access to crew areas is one of them.” His eyes lit up. “And there’s a Mrs. Jarvis! Lovely woman. Maybe she can babysit some time-“

“We’re not letting her out of our sight,” Steve bit out.

“Absolutely, under no circumstances,” Peggy said emphatically at the same time as Steve.

“Right. You two think on that one.” They just stared at him. “Jarvis will be up soon.” He started to leave, but then turned back. “Robe, Peg. Robe.”

The door shut behind him with a soft snap, and once again Peggy marched over to lock it. “Why was he so bothered?”

Steve couldn’t help it. He shrugged and smiled, “I’m a little bothered.”

Peggy was irritated, she turned to the mirror to look and see what was so wrong with how she looked.  “What is so disturbing about a few hairs out of place and a woman in a man’s shirt that-“

“Hot and bothered,” Steve supplied, stepping up behind her. He held the baby to the side, carefully balancing the bottle at her mouth while leaning down and letting his nose gently slide up the side of her neck. “Very enticing,” he whispered against her skin. He dropped a small kiss behind her ear then another right before her skin disappeared under the cloth of his shirt. “Now that I’m rested, that slip is looking exactly like an invitation.”

Their eyes met in the mirror, Peggy’s bottom lip between her teeth and her breath coming a little heavier. Amanda chose that moment to cry out around her bottle, squirming in Steve’s arms and demanding his attention. Peggy sighed softly at the lost moment, turning and resting her head on Steve’s shoulder to look at the girl in his arms as he pulled the bottle away. “Howard’s right about something: we fell into a rhythm right quickly, didn’t we?”

“I guess we did.” He handed Peggy the bottle and wiped at the baby’s lips, gently bringing her to his shoulder and patting her back.

Peggy put the bottle down and reached out for one of the soft cloths on the table, slipping it over Steve’s shoulder and under the baby’s cheek. “Does this feel…

“Right?” He looked down at her, his hand never stopping.

She smiled. “Right.”  Peggy lifted up on her toes, interrupting Steve’s rhythm just long enough to kiss him softly. He tried to follow her as she pulled back, but she didn’t let him take it any further. Instead, she laid a gentle hand on his chest and another on Amanda’s back. She smiled; the moment felt like something important. They stood there for what felt like hours but was really only seconds, breathing in time with one another. Amanda let out a soft burp and Peggy finally moved, reaching up and catching her drool with the cloth on Steve’s shoulder. The moment lost, she tried to move on. “I should put on my nightdress, and a proper robe, or else I’ll scandalize poor Mr. Jarvis.”

“Don’t,” he whispered. Steve couldn’t reach out for her, arms full of baby. “You look great, you-“ She shut the bathroom door in his face, and he could only smile down at Amanda as he shifted her off his shoulder. “She looked great.”

Amanda hiccuped at him and smiled.

~*~

Edwin Jarvis, unlike his employer, knocked at a reasonable level when he came to their door only a little while later. Steve, still in bare feet, pants, and his undershirt, opened the door. “Good evening Mr. Ryan. I’m Mr. Jarvis, and I’ve been instructed to bring you your dinner.”

“Come in,” Steve opened the door wide, revealing Peggy, now in a sensible long black robe and with her hair pinned up for the night, holding Amanda on the edge of the bed.

Jarvis rolled a silver cart in laden with covered dishes. “Mrs. Ryan,” he addressed smartly and with a small bow, “I’m Edwin Jarvis, at your service.”

“Lovely to meet you,” Peggy whispered, standing and turning to put Amanda back in her bassinet. “And please, call me Peggy.”

“Apologies,” he stage whispered, “I haven’t woken her?”

“Seems not,” Peggy smiled, she gestured with her hand towards the bassinet, inviting him to look for himself. She wasn’t sure if she was still acting or the impetus to show off the baby was now her own.

“How darling,” Jarvis spoke softly, clapping his hands together in front of him and smiling down. “I’m quite fond of children. As is my wife if you’ve the chance to meet her tomorrow.”

“I’d be honored,” Peggy replied, reaching in and tucking Amanda’s blanket around her tightly.

“As for your dinner,” Jarvis straightened up returning to the rolling cart and pushing it to the small table at the foot of their bed, “We have a delightful selection of salad, roasted chicken, sweet rolls, and roasted potatoes.” He lifted the covers off the dishes, setting two large platters of food in the center then setting out a place setting at each chair.

“This looks…” Steve started, eyes wide.

“…amazing,” Peggy finished. While food on the front wasn’t completely inedible, it had been quite a while since either of them had a meal that wasn’t served out of a giant vat onto a metal tray. Mr. Jarvis made his way out with the rolling cart quickly after, promising the see them tomorrow.

They ate in silence, the sounds of the ocean tightly locked out of the room and Amanda’s soft breathing the only thing they could hear. She passed him the potatoes and he let Peggy pick the pieces of chicken she wanted first. She smiled up at him. “Not exactly how I planned on dressing for our first date.”

He shrugged, chewing his mouthful and swallowing before replying. “Not exactly where I planned to take you.”

She looked up at him, a fork full of greens halfway to her mouth hanging mid air. “You had a plan?” He nodded, but kept his eyes on his plate. She put her fork down and leaned across the small table. “You’ve already gotten me out of my dress tonight, don’t get bashful now.”

Steve laughed and put down his fork, grabbing the napkin from his lap and wiping his face. “Right. Uh,” He pressed his lips together and smiled as he thought. “Well, there were a couple of options.” He gestured both hands out, preparing for his presentation.

Peggy sat back, picking at her sweet roll. “Do tell.”

Steve leaned forward, elbows on the table and chin in his hands. “There was this great Italian restaurant not too far from the SSR base in Brooklyn that has the best sauces you ever tasted. Doesn’t matter what kind: red, white, brown, meat, no meat… whatever you want they make it taste amazing. And they have these little tables on the terrace outside… It seemed like a nice place to go, you know. Not too formal, sitting outside without rubble around our feet and no mud anywhere, being able to just…talk.”

Peggy reached her hand across the table and pressed her palm to his bicep. “Sounds lovely.”

He smiled. “The other option was a place where you definitely can’t put your elbows on the table.” He shifted, removing his elbows but taking Peggy’s hand in his to keep from breaking their connection. “They’d just put it in down the street before I left, some kind of French Bistro with all the trimmings: the white tablecloths, the candles on the table, the whole nine yards.”

Peggy put her elbow on the table purposefully, resting her cheek in her hand. “Seems a little extravagant.”

Steve pulled her hand to his lips, kissing softly. “You’re worth it.”

She blushed furiously, something she couldn’t hide with her face scrubbed clean of make-up, though there had been little left after the last 36 hours. She tried to dodge the moment, and lifted her head off her chin to take up her fork. “I bet they serve duck and caviar, too.”

“And aspics,” Steve supplied, lifting his fork in his left hand so he wouldn’t have to let go just yet.

Peggy swallowed, making a displeased sound. “My mother used to make aspics.”

“And?”

She simply wrinkled her nose up and shook her head. They ate in silence, the night punctuated by the occasional hidden yawn until all of the food was gone and the plates were piled neatly on the table.

Peggy smiled across the table at Steve, her chin on her hand. “I’d kill for a nice nightcap at the mo.”

Steve turned and looked for the phone. “I bet Jarvis can get his hands on something…”

Peggy stood while his attention was elsewhere and rounded the table, settling herself in his lap and turning his head towards hers. “I think I can get my hands on something, too.”

Her kiss took him by surprise but he responded eagerly. He wrapped an arm around her waist and put a hand at her neck, his fingers playing with the edge of the lowest curl.

“Do ya always do your hair like this?” he asked, kissing down her neck and along the edge of the soft cotton robe.

She tilted her head back, letting him kiss across her collarbones. “Most nights, yes. Can’t much get to a salon in the middle of the no man’s zone, you know.” She felt more than heard his chuckle as he made his way up the other side of her neck. “You passed the test, incidentally.”

“Test?” He looked up at her, eyes drunk on the flavor of her skin.

She kissed him slowly. “Yes.” Then she pecked at his lips softly. “Test.”

Peggy started making her own way across Steve’s jaw, her hips gently rocking in his lap, making it very hard for him to think. “What, uh… what kind of test?”

She pulled back just enough to rub noses. “Why, the test every woman fears: her paramour seeing her without make up and with her hair done up for the night.” He felt her shrug. “You don’t seem to mind me at my worst.”

Steve laughed softly, leaning back and framing her face with his hands. “I’ve seen you worse. Bleeding from those bullets in Nice,” he poked her shoulder, “or that time you and half the company got sick from bad water just off the Rhine.” He laughed fully now, “Or that time… that time you fell face first into that mud hole in the motor pool.”

Peggy relented, rolling her eyes and trying to bite back a smile. “Very well. You’ve seen me worse.” She let her finger draw over his check until she could bounce it gently off his nose. “You passed those, too.”

He leaned back, serious, letting his hands slide to her shoulders. “Peggy Carter, I want you. I want you with make up and without it. With your hair perfectly set, pinned up, or full of mud. In a uniform, in a robe, or in nothing at all,” he smiled coyly at his last words. “I want you,” he said, squeezing his arms just a little tighter for a second, “at your worst and at your best.”

She pressed her forehead to his, trying to quell the emotion she felt rising. “Why do you have to be so infuriatingly good at-“ She stopped mid sentence and sat up taller, sniffing loudly. “Do you smell that?”

Steve took half a sniff before he winced, changing to breathe out of his mouth. “What is-“

“She’s going to need a middle name,” Peggy declared as she stood from Steve’s lap.

“Why?”

She slid the bassinet closer to the side of the bed and picked the squirming girl up, leaning away as the smell grew more pungent. “So I can use it when she interrupts perfectly wonderful moments like that.” She held her at arms length, waiting for Steve to grab a towel and lay it on the bed.

They had her changed relatively quickly, fed, and soon all three were back in bed.

Peggy reached her hand over towards Steve just above the basket. He reached right back in the dark and held her hand softly. “What do you think about Grace?” he asked quietly.

“In general or as a concept?” she asked, her eyes starting to close.  

“As a middle name,” he stifled a yawn. “Think about how great that’ll sound the next time she interrupts us.”

She knew he was teasing, but couldn’t help but indulge. “Amanda Grace Rogers,” she bit out, pretending to be cross. “Yes,” she whispered back, “It rolls nicely off the tongue.”

Neither one of them commented out loud on her choice of last name.  

~*~

The next morning didn’t go quite how either had hoped. Though they were still far more rested than they had been previously, they were still groggy. Amanda had woken several times during the night. While Steve had attempted to let Peggy sleep as he generally heard the start of the baby’s cries first, it was nearly impossible to avoid waking her in the small room, and even more impossible to try to change a diaper on a squirming baby in the dark and alone.

Peggy had ended up getting up nearly every time, the two of them bouncing off one another in the dark room until one of them stumbled over and turned on the lights. The next morning wasn’t much better. The alarm clock, set somewhere around the second time Amanda woke up in the night, startled the baby awake and she was nearly inconsolable. The rhythm Peggy and Steve has established over the last two days seemed to vanish at the loud, desperate cries as they tried to figure out what she needed and they tried to make themselves presentable for breakfast in the dining room.

Peggy, in her slip and robe with only half her hair let down from the pins, was moving to hand Steve the bottle she just made and ran straight into him as he turned, doubling over when her nose connected with his elbow.

“Oh god, Peggy!” Steve looked at Peggy and Amanda, now both stricken with tears, and wasn’t sure what to do. In a fit of frustration he put Amanda back in her bassinet, nothing he was doing was stopping her cries, anyway, and bent down to help Peggy stand up straight.

Her eyes were tearing and she held both hands to her nose. “Oh good lord, is it broken?” She asked, pulling her hands away from her face.

“No, it’d be bleeding if it was,” he said, softly tracing it’s line, pressing gently and apologizing when she winced. “How bad does it hurt?”

“Getting better slowly,” she said, standing up straight and putting her hands gently to the bridge. “Good lord, you’re like running into a brick wall.” She pressed gently and sniffed a few times. “Scratch that, I’ve seen brick walls that have lost against you.”

“That is true.” He laughed lightly and gently wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Peg.”

She shook her head and looked over at the crying baby her nose throbbing more than she wanted to let on. “Not your fault, you didn’t mean it.”

“Not at all. C’mere,” Steve held out his arms and she stepped into them, willing. Even Amanda seemed to calm for a moment, her cries dropping down to simpers.

After a moment of soft stillness, she started pressing against the chest she’d been laying on, fascinated by the lack of give of his muscles. “I always seem to forget how strong you actually are.” She looked up, smiling. “You’re always so gentle with me.” Steve leaned forward, intent on kissing her, when Amanda decided she’d had enough and redoubled her effort to get everyone’s attention with a loud wail. Peggy dropped her head back, a groan falling from her lips. “Amanda Grace! You must simply learn when an opportune time is.”

The baby didn’t change her volume or tempo, and Peggy sighed. As she brought her head up Steve pecked her forehead lightly. “Sounds good, right?”

Peggy smiled, detangling herself from his arms and went back to pulling pins from her hair as Steve lifted the baby back up, settling on the edge of the bed to try the bottle that had landed on the floor at the foot of the bed. He wiped the nipple off and offered it to her. “Amanda Grace, time for breakfast. Or second breakfast.”

“Try fifth,” Peggy muttered as the crying finally stopped as she latched on to the bottle. The silence that surrounded her did a lot for the pain in her nose that was quickly causing a pounding headache. “Ahh, that’s much better.”

“How often are babies supposed to eat?” Steve looked over his shoulder at her in the vanity mirror.

She met his eyes, slowly unraveling a long curl. “I’m not sure, though Nurse Stephens back at the base said feed her as often as she wanted to be fed.”

“She’s eating a lot- and eating it fast.” Steve was slightly concerned. He had no real experience with babies, though he’d gotten to hold quite a few of them in his USO days.

Peggy started on the swoop of her Victory Roll, pulling it up and out over and over around her fingers until it was smooth and perfect, pinning it in place sharply. “Have you ever seen yourself eat?” She mumbled around a mouth full of pins “If she has any of that serum in her, the poor thing is probably starving every moment of the day.”

“Good point.” Steve conceited, watching as Amanda sucked hungrily. Steve turned to look back at Peggy as she muffled a curse around the pins in her mouth. “You ok?”

“Banged my knee again.” She pulled the pins from between her teeth and resituated herself on the chair as she pulled out the cosmetics she’d bought the other day. “This thing is too damn short by an inch or so.”

Steve, who had quickly dressed this morning while Peggy had been dressing Amanda, turned so one knee was up on the bed and watched, fascinated, as Peggy did her make-up.

She froze, one hand halfway to her lashes with the small brush full of mascara. “Enjoying the show?”

He blushed and turned away, stammering. “Sorry, I uh-“

“I don’t care if you watch,” She moved to resume her mascara and smiled when she saw his reflection turn back. “Just wondering if it’s really all that interesting.”

“It is to me.”

“Why?”

Steve stalled by making a show of moving Amanda to his shoulder, grabbing their designated burp cloth and working on releasing some air from the poor thing. When he met her eyes in the mirror again, she was brushing a light brown over her eyelids. “I don’t think I’ve ever watched anyone do that before.”

Peggy laughed, considering her palate before she picked up more color on her brush. “You’ve seen those USO girls put on make up lots of times.”

He shook his head down at the floor, “Not the same.” Amanda let out a light belch and he turned his head to her immediately. “Good girl,” he whispered. “Feel better?”

Peggy moved on to her cheeks, lightly pressing her finger to her new lipstick and dabbing it on over the apple of her cheeks. She frowned at the initial application and kept blending it. “Maybe that’s why she was fussy. Keep going.”

Steve didn’t let up the rhythm of the light pats on her back. “Yes, ma’am.” Only a few seconds later a louder burp broke the silence, followed quickly by a mouthful of formula. “Yeah, definitely feeling better after that one.”

Peggy had moved on to her lipstick, turning as she looked at her reflection and scowling: it was more orange than she’d hoped but it would have to do. “That belch could put Dugan to shame.”

“See?” Steve asked, bouncing Amanda against his chest as Peggy slipped her dress on, “You’re a Howling Commando already.”

Peggy pulled Amanda from his arms. “Upsy daisy,” she sang, lifting her high before cradling her close. “Be a dear?” She turned, exposing her back to Steve where the zipper needed to be done.

Steve zipped her up quick before he could get any other ideas. He moved her hair away, meaning to kiss her neck, but Amanda was staring back at him from over Peggy’s shoulder. The baby squealed in delight, and Steve could only laugh.

“She likes you,” Peggy whispered softly.

“She likes us both, I think,” Steve said, spinning Peggy around.

Peggy held the girl tight as she leaned up and pressed a strong kiss to Steve’s lips. He chased her as she pulled away, wrapping one arm around her waist and using the other to help support Amanda as he held her closer, letting his lips slant over hers.

Peggy pulled away gently, smiling at first but grimacing once she saw Steve’s whole face. She reached up to run her thumb over Steve’s lips to clear away the smudges there. “I not much a fan of this color for me, but it looks horrid on you.”

~*~

Breakfast was quick affair. Over eggs and toast at a small table in the large dining room with Howard they devised a series of check-ins, mostly meals as they’d have to be together anyway, and Howard invited them for a “tour” of the boat. Steve absentmindedly kept the pram moving, using his foot to rock it back and forth as they ate and talked.

“There’s a lot of great amenities you should really take advantage of,” Howard continued around a mouthful of toast. “There’s a pool, a gym, a library, a game room…”

“A gym would be lovely,” Peggy mused, “to be able to not have to lie in mud to-“

Howard mumbled into his coffee, turning and looking away.

Peggy leaned forward. “What did you say, Howard?”

He put his coffee down and winced, knowing what was coming. “I said, it’s uh, men only.”

Instead of the tirade they expected, Peggy cleared her throat and pressed a small smile to her face. “Well, then, Steve, you absolutely must go and enjoy it for the both of us.”

Howard’s jaw fell at her not chastising him, but he understood a second later as the waiter put his hand over his shoulder and removed his empty plate. “Oh. Right. Yeah, Steve, you’ll love it.”

She smiled tightly as the waiter walked away. “I’m sure I can find much more lady like pursuits. Like the library. Or sitting and waiting for Steve to come back because I’m incapable of doing anything without a man.”

“That’s the Peg I know and love.” Howard leaned back in his chair. “I was almost worried there for a second when you didn’t rip my head off.”

“We’re here for five more days,” she said quietly. “Appearances are important.”

“Exactly,” Howard rapped his knuckles on the table. “You two should be out taking walks, going swimming, enjoying your time on deck.”

Steve interjected. “Howard, it’s November. It’s cold on deck.”

“Fine, not on deck. And the pool’s down below, anyway.” He shrugged. “You’ve got five free days where you’re not expected to behave in a certain way at all. All I’m saying is what happens on this boat, stays on this boat, got it?”

“Howard, we have a job to do,” Steve looked pointedly at the pram then back at Howard. “That can’t change.”

“Not even in the slightest,” Peggy affirmed.  

“I’m not saying don’t do what you’re here to do,” Howard leaned forward on the table, his voice barely above a whisper so only they heard it. “I’m saying you’re safe here. Let down your guard a little. Enjoy the luxury and spend some of my money. They’re gonna ship you back to that hellhole as soon as they can and you know that.” He leaned back, waving his arms wide across the dining room. “Take advantage.”

Howard pushed back from his chair to stand as he waved to someone who was approaching them. Peggy and Steve looked at one another seriously. They did have to have a conversation. They couldn’t just hole up in their room all day every day. Hydra may not be on the ship right now, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t question the people who were there, or that they wouldn’t bribe them, or hurt them, to get information about an odd couple with a baby. They needed to fit in.

Howard greeted Mr. Jarvis and who they assumed to be Mrs. Jarvis. “Quite sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but I wanted to introduce my wife, Mrs. Ana Jarvis.” The lovely redhead smiled.

“Pleased to meet you,” Peggy stood and shook her hand. “Peggy Ryan, my husband, Steve, and this,” Peggy reached in the pram, pulling out the baby with a smile, “is Amanda.”

Ana looked over at the bright-eyed bundle in Peggy’s arms and smiled, “Amanda, what a beautiful name for a beautiful girl! Were you a good girl for Mummy and Daddy last night?”

Peggy and Steve locked eyes over Ana’s head as she continued to coo at the baby. It had been one thing to internalize that feeling of a small family, but it felt positively lurid for someone else to bring it to light. And yet, that’s what they were doing, play-acting at being a family.

“She’s still settling in to a routine,” Steve replied, completely truthful, “but she’s doing well.”

Ana couldn’t stop the smile on her face, she reached out a tickled the girls cheek and was rewarded with a giggle form the baby. Peggy beamed and Steve couldn’t keep his eyes off them. “Will you join me for tea this afternoon?” Ana asked Peggy, looking up from the baby. “I’m sure Howard and your husband have men’s business that needs to be attended to.”

Peggy forced a smile at the insinuation that she wouldn’t be welcome at that business. “Yes, tea would be lovely.”

Ana clasped her hands together. “Wonderful! I’ll meet you at your cabin at 3, we can walk to the dining room together.”

“Mr. Stark,” Jarvis gave a short bow, “I shall be at your room at half past eleven for your lunch order. Are you still planning on taking lunch in your room?”

“No, not today. I’ll be in my office on the lower decks this morning. You can have the day free, Mr. Jarvis.”

Jarvis looked surprised. “Oh. Well,” He smiled. “I shall endeavor to find a distraction, then.”

“I’ve heard there’s a lovely gymnasium,” Peggy supplied, looking slyly at Howard.

~*~