Saudade - Biscuits
New Story Update! FFN and AO3
All my Blackinnon ideas are being used in Quarry right now, but I remembered an old HC that I had awhile back and it doesn't work in that story, so I get to put it here. :) Enjoy!
Biscuits
It became apparent when they all moved in together after Hogwarts that someone was sneaking biscuits, specifically everyone's biscuits. No biscuits were safe, and no matter where everyone hid their packages, they were always found out. Hiding them wasn't enough.
So Remus went to extreme lengths, trying to protect his chocolate digestives with charms. But the thief seemed unperturbed, at least the package being a few biscuits short suggested as much.
Lily simply started carrying her gingersnaps in her purse, thinking that the thief wouldn't have the chance to take any if she kept them on her person. She was wrong.
Sirius' solution was to place his Jaffa Cakes in a box that said 'bugger off' every time it was opened. The thief always did so, with a couple of biscuits in hand.
James enchanted his package of custard creams to scream if anyone opened it, including himself. It only secured the annoyance of everyone in the flat, his package was continuously lighter than the last time he picked it up.
Marlene taped a Post-It note on her chocolate fingers that read 'Your fingers are next.' All the thief's fingers were still on their hands, but Marlene's box was consistently short a few.
Peter just stopped buying biscuits altogether.
Which suited the thieves just fine. Honestly, who wants a biscuit that dissolves almost instantly when dunked in their tea?
Marlene handed Sirius a gingersnap as she polished off a custard cream.
"How long do you reckon before they figure it out?" She reached for one of Sirius' Jaffa Cakes from the package.
Sirius chuckled and pulled one of Marlene's chocolate fingers from its box. "I'm banking on never. This is my favorite new game."
"James face every time he sees he's missing two more biscuits is hilarious. Translocating the biscuits was genius love." Marlene grinned and leant her head back into the side of their bed.
Sirius picked up a chocolate digestive and dunked it into his tea, "Lily's face was better. She carried her purse against her chest like a gold brick the entire week and you still managed to swipe two biscuits out of it."
Marlene finished off the last of her share in their loot and drank deeply from her cup before sighing contentedly and setting it on the floor next to her.
"I'm hitting the market tomorrow, I'll offer to pick up things for everyone. Make sure you bring up biscuits so everyone asks that I grab them more of theirs."
Sirius rolled his eyes, "I don't know how you've managed to make an honest prankster out of me."
"We get to have a great deal of fun at their confusion, the least we can do is finance our game."
She scooted closer to him and ran a small hand up his arm. "It's a small price to pay for the level of entertainment we get out of it."
"I don't know," Sirius deliberately set his tea down a good distance away, "I might choose to regress into old habits."
Marlene smirked and moved to straddle him, but he caught her around the waist and flipped their positions.
"I was planning to convince you of the benefits of going along with my way of thinking." She moved her arms to wrap around his neck and gave a gentle tug.
Sirius nodded, "I'm sure and don't worry, there will be plenty of time for convincing me further, but right now," he brought his lips to hers, "I'd rather just enjoy our little victory."
Marlene smiled against him, "A celebration then?"
"A thieves triumph should always be commemorated," Sirius ran his hands along her waist.
"Is swiping biscuits really a triumph?" She laughed.
"Anything with you is a triumph," and in one quick movement, he lifted Marlene onto their bed before kissing her, still tasting their spoils on her lips.
