#stc3.2

They walked to the garage in silence... it wasn’t awkward but Thalia felt tense. Stopping outside the Garage she folded her arms irritated “What are we doing here..?” she asked as a wave of nausea hit her... she was feeling really nervous. 

“You’ll understand once we go inside... Please.” Adrien said gesturing for her to go inside. Thalia gave a small nod and walked through the garage stopping in front of a beautiful motorcycle. She inhaled sharply shocked, nervous and sad all at the same time. “What’s this?” she asked her voice slightly shaky. 

“This is yours...before my son died he was in the process of designing a custom motorcycle for you... I found the plans when we moved, for months I couldn’t go inside his room and I never touched anything I kept it all the same... I couldn’t bring myself to change anything. But when we moved I finally realised I had to.. and that's when I found the sketches and plans. I contacted the shop he was working with and guy said they still had it so I went there giving them the last of the plans and they finished it.” 

“It's beautiful,” she said unable to say anything else... “I can’t believe he made a bike for me... Its kind of Ironic” she said as a tear slid down her cheek. 

“It's yours.. so If you want it.. you’re welcome to take it. I know riding maybe the last thing you’d want to do but you don’t have to ride it..” 

The rooftop quickly became Thalia’s favourite spot at the center she found it relaxing and peaceful and she would even have her breakfast there. On one morning someone joined her on the rooftop she’d seen the girl in group therapy and she often looked kinda sad, much like Thalia she barely ate. Maybe she was detoxing too, Thalia thought. 

“Can I sit here?”  she said pulling up a chair before Thalia could respond. 

“Sure..” Thalia said looking amused, it was strange but somehow she felt like she could see a reflection of how she felt in this girl. 

“Sorry you probably don’t want company but, I don’t know you look about as lonely and bored as a feel. Rehab is boring isn’t it?” 

Thalia scooped some of her breakfast in her mouth. “Yeah, it sucks. I keep wanting to leave but then I remember I have a problem and I can’t fix it myself.” Thalia sighed. 

Diosa sighed “Sometimes I just really want a Vodka to take off the edge ya know, but then I think about my babies…they’re the only ones I have you know.. I need to do right by them.” 

“You’re pregnant?” Thalia said shocked but trying to control it “Yeah Vodka is my choice too. Being pregnant and being here must be so hard for you though…” she said sadly 

“It’s not as bad as I thought actually… at least now I have someone to love me. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this, maybe its the therapy they say talking about these things is good.” 

Thalia looked over seeing hope and optimism in the girl’s eyes something she wished she had, “Its okay, its kinda nice talking to someone who isn’t a doctor, I’m Thalia by the way.” 

“It really is, I’m Diosa.” she smiled. 

Thalia had agreed to meet Adrien at a cafe, it was neutral ground and at least she could enjoy good quality coffee. She arrived outside the Cafe spotting him immediately, she joined him at the table after placing her order, one good thing about no longer being in rehab was she didn’t have to drink decaf anymore. 

Tension radiated off her as she sat across from Adrien, who gave her a weak smile. “I’m glad you finally got in touch miss StClaire… I honestly had given up hope that you were ever going to get back to me.” 

“Believe me I considered it, and its Thalia.” She glared. 

Adrien smiled. “I can see why my son liked you, you have some bite.” He smiled, Thalia glared at him “So why did you want to meet me anyway?” she asked wanting to get the meeting over with as soon as possible. 

Adrien took a sip from his cup and sighed “I know you don’t like me, and you don’t have to and I know its taken me a long time to reach out but for years I couldn’t let it go… I was angry with myself for so long. And when I received it I didn’t want to let it go because it was the last thing he touched you know-” 

“Look Mr Carter, no disrespect but I can you please tell me what this is about.. i don’t want to sit here any longer than I have to.” 

“Oh yes sorry. I think it would be better if I showed you…i had it brought here so you can see it, but the place is a 10-minute walk from here do you mind?” 

Thalia sat by her window later that night she felt weak and sick, and her hands were shaking, her first thought was that she needed a drink, but then she chastised herself for it. With shaking fingers she picked up her phone texting Violet and dialing his number because she wanted to hear his voice.... just to say goodbye. 

The phone rang once and Thalia was greeted with a groggy “Hey, are you ok?”

“Hey...” Thalia said with a sad smile  “No, not really...” 

Gianni felt sad he wanted to hold her but he was too far away. There was silence but it wasn’t awkward it was just two people happy being on the phone to each other “I’m going to rehab...” she said quietly 

“Yeah? Good... I’m glad.” he smiled 

Thalia took a deep breath “I-I don’t really know how long it will take for me to get better so i just wanted to say...” she sighed “I don’t know.” 

“It’s okay Querida you don’t have to say anything.” There was another silence over the phone. A tear dropped down Thalia’s face and she caught it with her finger “I-I think you should forget about me, Gianni.  I am damaged goods,-” 

“Thalia..” 

“No don’t Thalia me..just listen for a minute, I’ve been nothing but horrible to you, I keep hurting you and I don’t want to keep hurting you... I don’t deserve you. I never have, even as a friend, I am destructive, I hurt everyone I love, just look at what I have done to you and Violet and My family, Even Levi. And then there’s Rhys... I’m no good Gianni. Just please forget about me.” 

“Listen to me very carefully Thalia. Nothing will make me forget you, I don’t want to and I won’t so stop whatever you are thinking, stop it. I’ll still be here when you come out we can talk then. Promise me you’ll call me... just promise me that one thing.” 

Thalia took a deep breath to control the tears that were now streaming down her face “Promise me Thalia.” he said again. 

“Ok.” she said “No... don’t just say ok.” 

“I promise.” she sniffed. 

“Good.” There was a brief silence as they hung on to their phones both too scared to speak... “Ok.. I have to go. Bye Gianni.” 

Some days Diosa and I would get lunch together after group, she always said the funniest things. I remember after my first session of group we had gone into the cafeteria to get some lunch I picked up the soup and she’d eyed me before speaking. 

“I wouldn’t get that if I were you…” she’d said with a knowing smile. 

“Why” I’d asked suddenly very curious. 

“It tastes like shit.” she said and I’d burst out laughing “You are bad you know that?” I said to her… 

“Hey, get it if you want… I’m pregnant maybe my tastebuds are just messed up but that soup definitely is shit.”  

I laughed harder, One of the things I liked about Diosa was that she didn’t mince her words, and she always had something quick and sharp to say. Laughing with her made Rehab all the more bearable. 

We sat down and I sipped on my soup before making a face of disgust. Diosa burst out laughing. “I told you,” she smirked 

I rolled my eyes good-naturedly at her “Shut up and eat your sandwich!” I threw back at her. 

Kaia drove quickly faster than she’d ever driven, and reached Brindleton Bae in half the time it should have taken. She arrived walking into the apartment she found Thalia on the floor and her heart stopped beating for a moment. she rushed to the floor where she was sitting and sat Thalia up... “Oh Thalia.” she sighed, she caressed her cheek gently. “Baby...” 

Thalia was barely able to look at her mum her vision blurred but she felt soothed anyway. “I think I need help...” Thalia said as he mum looked at her. 

“It’s ok... we’ll get it for you,” Kaia said as she moved around attempting to help her up off the floor. With great effort, she managed it supporting Thalia’s weight she helped her to the car. Kaia felt sick with worry but she knew that now that Thalia had admitted it they could get her the help she needed. 

This is my last entry, I leave tomorrow and in some ways I’m happy. I feel better its been a long 6 months. I’ve missed my family and my friends. As much as I am happy I feel scared, it's strange I feel so safe and happy here but I know as soon as I am out there again... it won’t feel the same. Dr Mason says he’s happy with my progress... and if I wanted to stay a little longer I could but then I wouldn’t be able to get on with things and I am so bored here... so I think it should leave. Besides Diosa left like 2 months ago and its quiet here without her I miss her, but I’m glad she got to move on! I hope she and the pregnancy are okay. 

While here I have learned to manage my feelings, and I don’t crave a drink every time I feel extreme emotions. Dr Mason says; its okay to have a drink every so often and if I am to have one I should limit myself to just 1 or 2. But he also says given my track record I should probably steer clear of it. I don’t think I will have a drink again, I don’t trust myself. 

Violet sat by her friend feeling helpless... “Oh, T why didn’t you come to me?..” Thalia mumbled something again...but it wasn’t clear. Violet looked at her biting her lip unsure of the thought she’d just had. But at this point, she didn’t know what else to do. It became clear to Violet that Thalia hadn’t actually dealt with her grief and it was consuming her... she needed help and Violet, nor Gianni or any of her friends or family could give it to her, she needed professional help.

Violet dialed Kaia’s number her stomach knotting, how could she explain this “Hello” came a slightly concerned voice on the other end of the phone. Making Violet jump, she’d been so absorbed in the sound of the phone ringing she’d barely noticed when Kaia picked up. 

“Um.. Hi Kaia, it’s Violet.” 

“Hi Violet... is everything okay? are you okay? Is Thalia okay?” 

“Well.. I’m ok.. kind of but, Thalia is um.. well she’s Ill I think you need come and take her home.” 

“what kind of ill?” Kaia asked nervously

“It's probably best if you come and see for yourself...” 

“Alright, I’ll be there as soon as possible.”