i think you just made me do math but I’m not sure

My Tumblr Crushes:

postmodernmulticoloredcloak (3%)

garakcore (2%)

the-black-dragons-den (2%)

yesterdaysprint (2%)

gazztron (2%)

reparrishcomics (2%)

kittyknowsthings (2%)

startledoctopus (2%)

Tagged by @startledoctopus

rules: answer 17 questions & tag 17 people you want to know better

nickname: squid. No meatspace nickname. I desperately wanted one as a kid but my name doesn’t lend itself to one at all

zodiac sign: double Pisces. It’s fish all the way down.

height: 5′3″ / 160cm

Hogwart’s house: Slytherin. Even sorting hat test I’ve ever taken puts me solidly in slytherin.

last thing I googled: how to use land moss in an aquarium. Working on the opulence of the future Fish Palace.

song stuck in my head: Hotel California, by the Eagles. How appropriate.

following and followers: I’m following people! And people follow me?? Is that how this works?

amount of sleep I get: at least 8 hrs. Any less and I stop functioning. I love sleep. 

lucky number(s): Used to be 88, because that seemed to be the magic number on math tests. I don’t really have one anymore?

dream job: my bipolar has really fucked with my career goals. Without mental illness? Some kind of policy development for the UN. I started going to school for that, but things went pear-shaped real fast. Still a bit bitter. As my life stands right now? Remodeling the house and volunteering for DBSA is pretty satisfying.

wearing: my unemployment uniform: yoga pants, birkenstocks and my Critical Role hoodie

favorite song(s): mmm. Right now, I’d say it’s Not by Big Thief.

instrument(s): Pliers. Crescent wrench. 

random fact: I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. I learned it as a small child. I can happily demonstrate. I did not realize there were sexual connotations until like a year ago.

favorite author(s): John Brunner. China Mieville. Really into Octavia Butler at the moment.

favorite animal noise(s): That purr-snuffle noise a cat makes when you scratch the bridge of their nose

aesthetic: Oh totally #aesthetic. When I get the chaos of my shit tucked away, it’s all Portland hipster / instagram yoga mom up in here. 

My Tumblr Crushes:

linguisticparadox (2%)

emptymanuscript (2%)

trilobiter (2%)

startledoctopus (1%)

fadingnowimruined (1%)

nebula-girl (1%)

veesci (1%)

the-museum-of-real-life-art (1%)

This is the real world, and while you can say "the answer is to try to understand the nature of the thing you want," it can be difficult to understand the nature of the thing if you want it badly enough – for instance, if you want it very badly you may think you understand it, but be very confused!

It is always important to be able to say "no thanks," and to make it obvious to others that you understand why they are not being good hosts to you. In the absence of that, if you can't have what you want, then it will be better if you don't want what you have.

It's also important to find a space of people you can interact with easily and be honest with them about what you want. This is often difficult to do unless you've established a sense of trust with someone, which takes work.

You can only be friends with one person at a time. The site must either work offline, or be a device that connects to the internet and uploads any changes made to its user database as they occur

You have a friend with you at all times. While you may be away, your friend is present, always. The world can never truly change if you are there, always.

You have a list of the 100 people you care the most about. Your closest friends, and only their friends, may access the list. Anyone who you don't list is unknown to you. You have a list in a safe place that can never, ever be read.

You always need to be wearing a mask or a face mask. If you look in a mirror, you need to be wearing a mask that is made of a material different from your own flesh. If you look at your own face too long, you will grow a new pair of eyeballs. They will be the same eyeballs as you, but made of rubber or other non-tissue-based material. You can take the eyes out of your head (or leave them there). You cannot remove them from the eyeballs, or you'll end up with two of the same eyeballs. There are many kinds of eyeballs. Your eyeballs will always be different, but not more or less different than any other eyeballs. You can wear the same set of eyeballs for a very long time, without wearing new ones. If you wear too many eyeballs, they will fall out of your head and roll away, and the cycle will restart. If you are not wearing an eyeface, your eyes will be replaced by an eyeball for each eye socket.

That might be a bit …. much …. I guess we're going to have to see how far this is. But here goes

A man walks into a bar and orders a double bourbon

The bartender says, "It costs $15 for a double!"

The man says, "I pay $15 for every drink I order"

The bartender says, "Ok, fair enough."

So he gives him the drink, and the man takes a good long gulp, and he starts to say, "Thank you,"

But his throat gets to the "h" sound and he croaks out a long "ah," like a dying duck, and it takes him a minute to recover enough to say, "Ah … thank you."