#stareternals

i'm sobbing, these two have my heart i love them so much 🥺 nesta flying on calista, her hair unbound so she can feel the wind through her hair, arms spread wide while she rides the current. feyre’s laugh tugs on her heart and the sound of it is contagious and makes her laugh as well. with a command to calista, they soar down and land right beside feyre and morpheus, joining them on their run. both sisters glancing at each other and giggling like the little girls they were never able to be in their childhood. the two of them race to their favorite field, away from the city and the noise. the field has become their place, where they bond and talk while their mounts are running about playing with each other or resting. eventually it will be the spot where nesta tells feyre she’s pregnant before telling anyone else.

     her gaze looked down to the bundle in feyre’s arms, “i want to know him too. and for him to know that aunt nesta will decapitate anyone who tries to cause any harm to him.” there was a strong protectiveness now, stronger than what she felt for elain. her first thought went to tamlin, who was now a beast who roamed the spring court. if he were to even try to get near her nephew – the spring court would very well need a new high lord. 

the words barely more than a whisper as she meets her sisters gaze, ❛ I’m sorry. for all I said and did. I was–––– ❜        drowning. dying. she pauses. she cannot confess it all yet. when she is ready, she will tell feyre everything. but for now, she is ready to take this first step. ❛ lost. I am still working on finding my way back but I wanted to apologize for all I have done. all the pain I caused. ❜

drags back in for more kissies and snuggles bc a bitch is MISSED.

“we both know that isn’t true. you’ve already done so much without me.” a bit softly, almost guilty, she added, “for so long you were able to do many things without me.” steeling herself, nesta turned away and looked out the window. it was easier to have this conversation without looking at her sister. even though it was somewhat cowardly to do so. “you once asked me why i push everyone but elain away. it was because elain needed me and you never did. if i’m being honest, there was jealousy toward you as well.” her eyes close briefly as she recollects their childhood. “mother bred elain and i for high society. although she had different endgames for the two of us and taught us different tactics to use when navigating that world, the training was brutal. mother had the two of us to use for her ambitions so you were the lucky one who wasn’t in her grasp.” nesta didn’t want to go into detail, she especially didn’t want to mention their grandmother who made their mother look like a saint in comparison. “i’m sure growing up you had a different view on her ignoring you, but feyre i assure you, you were lucky.” at last nesta faced her sister. “you were free. that’s what i always wished to be. i couldn’t even play outside when i was child because that wasn’t very lady-like,” she scoffed. “growing up there were countless times you looked at me as if i was beneath you for wanting to marry a prince or a king. as if you were better because you weren’t in the position elain and i were in. is it truly surprising that elain and i were so close?" "you and i were pitted against each other from the start, we were horrible to each other even before mother passed. you never once looked to me as your big sister that you needed guidance from.” a heavy sigh escapes her and she takes feyre’s hand into her’s. “my point is, you didn’t need me back then, what’s so different now?”

elain rises from her seat and pads across the room to stand before her sister   --   her hand lowers to grab ahold of hers,   clasping her fingers around the smooth skin.   “  you have had to protect and take care of me for so long,   and i just  .  .     you should not have had to in the first place.   but especially now ;   you are mated,   and a mother,   and  --   i should be the least of your concerns.   i know old habits are hard to break,   but just   .  .  .   please don’t waste your time worrying about me.  ”

‘  ELAIN !  ’   her sister shouts from above her,   hands clutching her shoulders as she shakes her awake.   the middle archeron bolts to sit upright,   shaking feyre’s grip from her as hands raise to wipe the beads of sweat that trail down her forehead.   elain struggles even to breathe,   the air rattling in her chest.   ‘  i’ve got you,   you’re safe.  ’   the words take a moment to sink in as she glances around at her surroundings,   chest still rapidly rising and falling.   a nightmare   --   the same one she has had for months now,   yet it still pulls the same reaction from her.   her cheeks flush.   she’s embarrassed.   this is the second time this week that feyre has had to wake her in the middle of the night.   “  i’m sorry for waking you,  ”   are the first words that leave her mouth,   albeit they’re hoarse,   wincing at the rawness in the back of her throat when she speaks.   she must have been yelling again.   “  can you light the fire?   the dark   --   it unsettles me.  ”

"That painting you gave me -- how do you do it? How do you know -- what the person you're giving it to needs to see?"