#stardustmisha

endless list of deancas scenes that broke my heart ↳ 12.12 //  “Dean, something’s wrong. I... I can’t heal myself. ” 

olivia holt, one of my favourite people to exist

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ok ok so many feelings regarding Dean  (see what I did there) I'm holy fucjkkkk let's start with the things I would've liked to see( don't worry there aren't many): 1. cas and Mary!! CAS AND MARY where were they omg. I would've loved to see mary's reaction at seeing dean positively happier than he usually is, more carefree, kinda maybe like he was when he was four? nostalgia oh my ....and CAs holy holy moly I wanted to see him try and adapt to a Dean who isn't violent and snarky, and lose his own wit and sarcasm and watch cartoons with him and tell him about his feelings just to watch his innocent reactions omg do u ever cry....and *cough* deancas anyone...so much potential where are my coda fics*cough* 2. I would've liked to actually watch the scene when deans memory is restored and not just from Sam's pov, but to watch all those years of pain and  suffering happen to him all over again in a split second. it would have been different from Sam sitting him down in the bathroom and trying to tell him his story but Dean Winchester reliving his life all over again. now that, that would've been something. now onto the things I loved bc there are so many holy shitt: 1. the last scene was hands down my fave. the song was perfect and i am not ashamed to say I almost cried. I know it was probably supposed to be funny but that little recap of an innocent happy Dean who was cute and adorable just bc that's how he is. plus,, ,, is it just me or was Dean riding a bull all kinds of....um...emotional. what am I lol BUT look... at the end of the song when he rides it out (lmfao) and just lies down on the bull's back and the song ends .....perfection 10/10 loved iT. such a memorable moment. also.....jensen what was it like to ride a bull......for science....... 2. a little RoWENA backstory yas gimme. I love how despite having an ulterior motive she's nice to Dean. just shows that if ur nice to Rowena she can be nice too. also sidenote I love that little scene with the waffle-girl in the bar where she goes around in a circle and the boys follow. just another little moment in amazing direction. 3. SAM my boy. do you ever get gripped by this sudden urge to just shout "SAMMEH" at him lol cause I do.....he was great, from tolerating deans antics to being worried that the spell hasn't worked (that little prank by Dean and rowena tho....ruthless ) and being the badass tol mofo he is. puppay. 3. DEAN. DEAN. DEAN boiiii saving the best for last lol. A++ acting, jensen exceeds himself in this ep. great characterization, this ep was rly well written imo. deans feelings esp in the bathroom scene omg I'm emO. oh boy. so much emo. help me. also "you're not 20 anymore dean" yEs old man!Dean gimme more bless 4. all in all. good writing, good direction, good plot, a bit of missing!cas and Mary but what's new. I liked it tho. def a memorable episode, and a good follow up to the Cas centric ep too. still crying by e sfbhsgdhkdk anyway here's all my feelings about 12x11 dumped into a post. feel free to cry with me.

Always looking for ways to love you Never failing to fight at your side; While the angels of love protect us From the innermost secrets we hide.