#starcrosseddreamer

She never got to see more of it than her little town, where she lived ever since she was born. Her father was the owner of the local tavern. She worked there and spent most of her time there since she could remember. One would say a tavern is not very suitable hangout for a young girl – but she had always felt safe and the tavern seemed like an adventurous getaway for her.

As she got older, she would always eavesdrop on stranger’s stories of faraway lands and dangerous adventures, and that served as an aid for her ever growing curiosity of the world. She never actually wanted to leave her home, she loved her father and the life the two of them had together. Her life was colorful enough as it got – being around travelers and adventurers all day in the tavern, listening to their tales, getting to know their stories and their troubles was just enough for her. Over the years she learned how to put up with different types of people who showed up in the little town. She definitely wasn’t a scaredy girl – she knew how to take care of herself when her father wasn’t around. Even if sometimes he failed to see that.

She was getting ready for the day shift at the tavern. Her father had opened up the place already, she could hear the muffled conversations coming up from the ground floor. She gave a quick glance to herself in the mirror and went downstairs where her father was already waiting for her.

‘Morning!’ He said with a smile under his beard as she came downstairs. His voice was warm as usual but it had a sad undertone to it.

‘Morning, father’ she answered, giving him a small hug. She loved the man with her whole life, he was an amazing person and father. Ever since her mother died, he took amazing care of her and never let her down. He seemed to be troubled, which was unusual of him.

‘Is everything alright? You seem preoccupied’ She asked, and put her hand on his shoulder. Her old man crumpled a small piece of paper he was holing and put it into his pocket.

‘All is well dear. No need to worry about me! I’ll have to go now; will you be so kind to take care of the tavern while I’m gone?’

‘You say that like I usually don’t take care of it.’ She answered with a little smugness in her voice. As an answer she received a little chuckle from his father as he left the building.

She was left alone with a few guests; they were the ones who always greeted the day with a few drinks before proceeding with their business as usual. Not the problematic type, she knew these people just as well as they have known her and her family for a long time.

‘May I get anything to you, Buck?’ She walked next to the old man who was sitting at one of the tables. He looked a bit scruffy and worn down, but he had the kindest eyes. He showed up every day at the same time before going to work.

‘Ah, (Y/N)! Good morning! Always a pleasure to come by when you’re here!’

‘So… every day?’ She asked and she let out a laugh.

‘You get it! I’ll have the usual, thank you. Just a quick breakfast and I’m off to the docks!’

‘You should consider retiring, Buck. You could spend more time here!’

‘I bet your father would love all the money I’d spend here! Especially nowadays.’ He answered while letting out a small chuckle. She furrowed her eyebrows while thinking about what Buck said. Usually, she wouldn’t pay much attention to these things but with his father’s gloomy mood this morning and the suspicious piece of paper she couldn’t help herself but to feel like something was wrong.

She liked this job a lot. She loved meeting and getting to know people who visited from all around the world. She prepared the breakfast for Buck, then cleaned the bar and kitchen area. While sorting the utensils, glasses and plates she found some kind of letters in one of the drawers. She wasn’t used to her father leaving paperwork around, so her suspicion from the morning grew even bigger. She quickly looked around to make sure no one will see whatever is in the envelope other than her. The letter seemed to be some kind of a payment notice – or more so, a letter sent after late payment to inform her father that the tavern will be closed down if he won’t pay the taxes to the town very soon. She quickly put the letter back to its original place and furrowed her eyebrows. Her father never mentioned that they had problems with money, let alone problems so bad that it could cost them their own home. He probably tried to save her from the trouble of it all, but why? She was an adult and she could help somehow, right? At least that’s what she thought at that moment.

People were coming and going all day, it seemed like an exceptionally peaceful day in the little seaside town. That was the case until a group of very loud sailors entered the tavern. She was occupied by cleaning a table when they came in. She turned towards the door to face the new guests, when she saw him.

He was accompanied by four or five other men, but his presence was so demanding she didn’t see anyone else but him. His tall figure seemed almost threatening in the small and peaceful tavern, his blue eyes were scanning the room and at the end they settled on her. He had dark scruffy hair and a matching beard. It took her a second to gather her thoughts and snap out of the initial surprise of seeing someone like this in her little family tavern. The man and his company settled in one of the corners and brought an extra chair for themselves from the neighbor table.

She couldn’t really explain it why, but she had a bad feeling creeping up in her stomach. Problematic people sometimes came by, sailors without manners, with drinking or just general life problems. But he seemed a bit more… dangerous?

‘Can I get you anything, gentleman?’ She asked the group of men sitting around the table. The one who locked eyes with her earlier looked up, a cheeky grin spreading across his face while he was – not so subtly – eyeing her up.

‘Other than your sweet company?’ He replied with a question, and it made her a little uneasy. The man put his arm on the table, and she got snapped out of her thoughts by an unusual noise that accompanied the movement. She looked at the direction of the sound autonomously, and only then noticed that there were no hand on the table, but there was a hook.

‘Oh this? Don’t worry love, it can be gentle’ He smirked and shot a wink at her direction, which made her scoff.

‘Can I get you anything to drink?’ She ignored his comments and put some extra emphasis on the word drink.

‘A pint of beer for every lad you see here. And a bottle of whiskey.’ He said, broadly gesturing at the other people sitting around the table, who were all very silent.

‘Won’t that be too much at an early hour like this?’ She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. She wanted him to make no mistake by thinking she was intimidated.

‘We’ll see about that. You don’t get paid to interrogate me right, love?’

‘Your drinks are coming up!’ She turned her back on the stranger and headed towards the bar. Other guests, regular guests in the tavern were watching the events unfold, but they didn’t say a word about it. The group was a loud one, most of their conversations could be heard at any point of the building. When they weren’t shouting, they were whispering. She approached the table and set the ordered drinks down, the whiskey last, in front of the one with the hook. She didn’t speak a word, after the drinks were on the table, she held the tray by her side and turned to go back to the rest of the guests.

‘Thank you love!’ She heard the man say in his low voice, but she didn’t turn around. She was tending the bar and taking care of other, well-behaved people while she heard the group talk loudly in the corner. She couldn’t help herself but to eavesdrop and she learned these people were part of a crew which served on a ship. The one with the dark hair and the hook were the captain. They stopped here for the day and would set sail tomorrow heading to more adventurous places. She couldn’t help herself but thought about her father’s debt all day wondering what could they do to get out of the situation. He would never ask her to help for sure, he didn’t want her to feel unsafe or troubled. After her mom died, he tried to keep her out of harm’s way at all costs. She didn’t needed it though, but sometimes he refused to see that. As she was lost in her thoughts the little bell above the door rang and her father stepped inside. His troubled face lit up in a smile when he saw his daughter.

‘Everything alright, (Y/N)?’ He asked kindly while stepping beside her. The loud group of strangers didn’t go unnoticed by him and he didn’t go unnoticed by the captain either.

‘All is fine, father. Nothing worth mentioning from my end.’ The words at the end of the sentence were given a little more weight than it would’ve been necessary any other time. She didn’t want to tell her dad that she knew about the financial situation of him but she wanted him to tell it himself. She wanted to offer her help. She wasn’t sure yet on the how just that she wanted to do something.

‘I’m glad to hear.’ He replied with no emotion in his voice regarding the implications of her sentence. He had no intentions to share the news with her. ‘Do you know who these fine gentlemen are?’

‘Can’t say for sure. Sailors stopping by and setting sails tomorrow. That’s all I managed to figure out.’ Her father scoffed and raised his eyebrows as he started to clean the counter.

‘Sailors. More like pirates by the looks of it.’ He murmured under his mustache and didn’t look at the group, but she did. The captain glanced over to their direction in a barely noticeable way, then he turned his whole body towards her and raised his good hand.

‘(Y/N)!’ Her name from this stranger sounded weird and intimidating, especially because they didn’t even introduce themselves to each other, and he was probably eavesdropping on her conversation with her father. He looked at her with worry in his eyes. She just gave him a reassuring nod and picked the tray up while walking towards the dark-haired man.

‘May I get you something to drink gentlemen?’ She asked, not making the same mistake of asking an unspecified question as she did the first time. He rewarded that with a small chuckle and shook his head a bit.

‘We’re just about to leave. Just wanted to thank you for the extraordinary service here.’ He replied as he stood up. He put a small pouch on the table and nodded at her with a grin on his face as he and his men left the tavern. She quickly picked the pouch up from the table and started cleaning it. Behind the bar she set the empty glasses down and started to count the money. Her brows furrowed as she realized he left a ridiculous amount of tip. It was almost more than the cost of their drinks for the whole day. It was nowhere enough to pay his father’s debt but it gave her a small ray of hope.

‘Yeah, I’m just passing by I guess.’ He answered, taking the coffee and leaving the money in exchange on the counter.

‘It was great to see you!’ She told him, taking the money away, throwing the change in the tip jar.

‘You too, (Y/N).’ He said, a faint smile on his face as he turned away from her and left the coffee shop.

She quickly found her way to the back of the shop, where only the employees were allowed and threw her back to the wall, exhaling sharply. She could feel her insides tense up from the thoughts in her head. She hasn’t seen him in ages, she thought these feelings were long gone. She thought she was over him, the love of her life she never got to be with. The one that got away.

It was a weirdly unsettling, gloomy day for Bo. He held tight onto his coffee cup, walking fast down the street, on his way home. His other hand in his pocket, eyes locked on his name on the cup scribbled by her. His heart clenched at the thought of seeing her again after all these years. He didn’t exactly tell the truth in the coffee shop – he was not just passing by, he’s been staying in the city for quite a while now in his home. Tours were on hold, no more traveling around. Not like it used to be back then.

‘You’re joking!’ She said, excitement in her voice from the news.

‘I’ll be on the stage soon!’ He answered, his smile bright like a thousand suns, showing the all too familiar dimples on his face. She loved when he smiled – it was the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

‘I’m so happy for you, Bo!’ She threw her arms around her best friend’s neck, giving him a warm hug. He lifted her a bit, nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, smelling her shampoo briefly. He felt his heartbeat in his throat, the happiness taking over his entire body. He’s been working so hard for this, and it was finally happening.

‘The first show of the tour will be in the city, will you come to see me?’ He asked, while he lowered her to the ground, letting her go.

‘I would never skip your big break through!’ She said with a laugh in her voice. She was beautiful, her hair framing her face perfectly, her eyes sparkling and her lips forming a perfect smile. Bo caught himself staring at her in the afternoon light. He quickly looked away, a pale pink blush crawling up his cheeks. It would be the perfect time to kiss her – he thought briefly, before making the thought go away. He didn’t want to make things awkward. She probably didn’t love him anyway.

‘Don’t get ahead of yourself, it’s just one tour.’ He said, downplaying his achievement.

‘Don’t be defeatist, Burnham. Just don’t forget me when you’re famous!’ She answered, poking his chest.

His keys rattled in his hand as he tried to open the door, his heart clenching at the thought of that afternoon. He put his coffee cup on the counter next to his keys and leaned against it. He furrowed his brows and run a hand through his dark blonde hair, tugging at the roots a little.

The crowd cheered as the lights went up in the theatre. Bo raised one of his arms to do a little wave, then bowed to the audience and did this a few times. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, adrenaline and happiness flowing through his veins. He tilted his head to the side to sneak a peak of the backstage where she stood, clapping and jumping a little in excitement. She was adorable. He did a last short bow, then walked towards her, his huge steps closing the gap between them incredibly fast. His smile was wider than ever, eyes sparkling with happiness. He extended his arms for her, wrapped around her waist and lifted her in the air while letting out a small laugh. Her arms were around his neck, holding on to him like he could vanish any second. Her heart never felt so full.

‘You were amazing!’ She said as he put her down, eyes never letting her go.

‘I still can’t believe this is real!’ He answered, resting one of his hands on his hip, looking at her. It seemed impossible, but his heart picked up an even faster pace. Thoughts racing, taking all options into consideration. Should he kiss her now? Her eyes were searching his face, her smile brighter than ever.

‘Let me congratulate as well!’ He heard a voice interrupt his thinking. It was his manager, and the moment was gone. She stepped back a few steps, letting the two of them talk.

That was the last night he saw her. Bo was sitting in the kitchen, looking at his phone, slowly pressing both his palms against his eyes. He was wondering if she still had the same number as she used to. It would be an asshole move to call after all these years, right? He scratched his chin when he heard tiny footsteps approaching him. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his sweet little dog, Bruce.

‘Are you hungry bud?’ He asked while picking him up to his lap. He petted the small dog while his mind wandered. Did he even deserve a second chance? He pushed away the one person he loved the most and never apologized. He was too scared to face her again, but now that it happened, the possibility seemed more and more inviting. He could try to apologize, try to tell her the truth. Or should he leave her alone? Spare her from even more pain?

‘I know you’re extremely busy Bo, but I need my best friend!’ He heard her say on the other side of the line. A few months has passed since he was on the road. During that time, him and (Y/N) started to talk less and less. She tried her best to keep the two of them connected, but he shut himself off. The stress of being on the road started to be too much mixed with the pain he felt every time they talked. He knew she would never be his, and that dreading feeling made a home in his heart, which started to grow into resentment. It wasn’t logical, oh no. But he was young, stressed and confused. Love made people stupid and miserable, and it didn’t spare him either.

‘You’re being selfish now.’ He said in a low voice, pinching the bridge of his nose while holding his phone. He clenched his jaw as he felt his ears burning from a feeling that he couldn’t quite figure out. Anger maybe? He heard a small but audible gasp from the phone.

‘Are you kidding me?’ She asked, her voice changed in tone immediately. ‘I’ve never done anything but supported you! I’m not even asking for you to do the same Bo, I’m just asking you to make an effort to check in with me from time to time! You never call, never write unless I do first, and recently you’ve been ignoring me even then. Don’t even try to deny it.’ She said, her voice trembling, he could hear her holding the tears back, which made his eyes sting a bit as well.

‘I’m not –‘ He started, but she interrupted him.

‘I told you not to deny it.’ She snapped.

‘I’m not denying it.’ He answered, and it was as all emotions were erased from his voice. It surprised him as well as it surprised her. She didn’t say anything, just a small ‘oh’ was to be heard. He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

‘Goodbye then.’ She said, hanging up the call. He threw the phone on the couch and buried his face into his hands.

He looked at the clock and saw that it was getting late. He looked at his phone again, then in a sudden decision he picked it up, tugged it in his pocket and left the house.

She was counting the money in the cash register when she heard the bell ring above the door.

‘We’re closing in five!’ She said without looking up, continuing to do her work. She heard footsteps approaching the counter and she saw the silhouette of a man standing in front of her from the corner of her eye. She let out a sigh and put the money back into the register, closing it up. She was never rude with guests, she was just a bit frustrated that day.

‘What can I get –‘ She started, but cut herself off when her eyes met his. She pressed her lips into a single line and rested her hands on the countertop, unconsciously tapping her foot on the ground.

‘Can I talk to you?’ He asked, almost like a whisper. His hands were in his pockets, his sweater’s sleeves rolled up on his arms.

‘I’m working, as you can see.’ She replied, pointing around herself.

‘Maybe I can wait until you finish?’ He answered with a question, hoping she would say yes. She was angry at him, he could see it in the way she looked at him and how she held herself. Tense, defensive. Not like how she used to be around him when they were younger. She let out a defeated sigh.

‘Fine. I’ll be out in ten minutes, meet me outside.’ He nodded and turned his back on her, walking out the shop. He walked a few steps away from the door, trying not to look awkward while waiting. He ran a hand through his hair, which she couldn’t help but notice from under her lashes. The all too familiar movement made her heart flutter. She finished closing up the shop and stepped out onto the cold autumn air, looking at him. He was looking at his feet when he noticed her, his eyes darting to her face immediately.

‘(Y/N).’ He said, stepping towards her. ‘I wanted to say I’m sorry.’ He left a short pause, being unsure what to say to her. Her face was unreadable, arms crossed, looking at him. Little did he know that her heart was beating in her chest in an incredible pace, waiting for him to continue. He made another step towards her, cautiously, like he was being afraid he could scare her away.

‘Do you think –‘ He started, closing his mouth mid-sentence. He still fought with his feelings, being unsure of what to say to her. The truth? ‘Do you think if I stayed everything would’ve been fine?’ He finally asked, her arms tightening around her chest.

‘I would never ask that from you.’ She replied quickly. ‘I always supported you, Bo. You being gone was not the issue.’ At that moment, he had nothing to lose. He already lost everything.

‘I should’ve told you I love you when I had the chance.’ He said, looking deeply into her eyes as she looked up on his face, her mouth open, tears gathering in her beautiful eyes. It broke his heart how much he made her suffer. ‘Not a day has passed when I didn’t think about you.’

Her tears started to flow on her face, the warm feeling contrasting with the cold air.

‘Bo, I’m so sorry.’ She whispered, reaching her arms for him. He noted the gesture, closing the gap between them immediately with one leap, wrapping one of his arms around her waist as he held her head from the back with the other. He leaned down, buried his face into her hair and neck, holding her like he never wanted to let go. Her arms tightly wrapped around his neck, tears flowing steadily, leaving a small wet spot on his sweater. He caressed her hair slowly, trying to calm her down.

When she pulled away for a second, she looked him in the eyes, their face almost touching. She searched his face, and there were a wide range of emotion in his eyes – relief, guilt, happiness, love. She looked at his lips for a second, then pressed her lips on them. The action took him by surprise, but he didn’t hesitate to return the kiss. His soft lips wandered on hers, his hug tightened even more, pulling her to him as close as possible. His hand cradled her head as he poured all his heart into the kiss. She’s never been kissed this good, his lips and tongue dancing with hers in perfect rhythm. She got so lost in the feeling she let out a small moan, bringing her hands up to his hair, which made him grin into the kiss.

‘I love you.’ He said, looking deep into her eye. ‘I was never brave enough to say. I planned to do this for so long. You were right there all along, and I couldn’t-‘ He rambled, and she kissed him again.

‘I wish you would have. You broke my heart, but I never stopped loving you.’ She said, and her saying this made his heart ache. How could he be so stupid. He kissed her again, and as he let go, he could see her hugging herself to warm up.

‘God, we should go. You are freezing.’ He said, concern filling his voice. He didn’t want to leave her though. Never again.

‘Do you want to –‘ She started, hesitating. ‘Do you want to walk me home?’ A bit of a cheeky smile showed on his face, looking away from her.

‘I would love to.’ He answered in a sweet voice, and they started to walk to her place.

Just as she stepped into the apartment and put her keys down, she turned to him, throwing her arms around his neck, hand digging into his hair. He couldn’t help himself but grin at her actions, bring his hands to her thighs and lift her up. His kiss was different than it was in front of the coffee shop. It was happy, curious and filled with want. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he held her with ease, taking a few steps towards the bedroom.

They were tangled in each other, they were two separate people, but at that moment that it felt like they were one. Hands wandering on each other’s body, lips crashing onto the other’s, biting lightly, sharp breaths and moans filling the heavy air. Heavy with unspoken words, guilt, pleasure.

‘I’ll never leave you again.’ He whispered into her ear. ‘If you want me to stay.’